Wearing an Invisible Crown

Girls talk endlessly..

2011-08-15T20:41:00.024+05:30

A very formal hello to all my fellow bloggers, hope everyone’s keeping good health and are moderately shining brighter than the sun. Here I am again back to writing after being virtually half-dead and now feeling almost resurrected. So, I thought I should write because that’s been one of the things I’ve felt better doing, always.

So, of-late I had this question tossing in my head about why we girls end up talking so much and how we take pride in ourselves on the quality of being garrulous. On the internet if you see, especially on the discussion forums, I've seen boys and girls plainly fighting over this not-so-important topic. They say girls like to vent, they enjoy talking, girls have different brains than men da-da-da etc! However, I don't want to get deeper on this subject for the reason that I know that men do the lesser talking and more of switching their minds on a lot of other things that do not have any connection to the subject by the time the girl takes a halt in the usage of her words. Trust me not all girls get annoyed when someone's not paying attention to their very unspecified jazz, but there are some of them who can annoy you [i.e., if you're a boy reading this] with their questions like where are you, why don't you talk to me these days, you've changed etc. I just wanted to share a few random conversations that came to my mind when I really got deep into thinking on how girls talk.

1) OMG I just said a HI:

Boy: Hi!

Girl: Hi, what's up? Where have you been? Did you not check the number of missed calls on your phone screen. I tried contacting you, but it looks like you're way too busy with your girlfriend. Come on I'm your first friend and you should seriously learn on how to respect that.

Boy: How are you?

Girl: Don't ask. I'm pissed off and you're asking me howwww-I-ammmmm? *lengthens those words*

Boy: brb
Never gets back!

2) How have you been?!

Boy: Hey how you been?

Girl: :-(

Boy: What happened?

Girl: Please don't ask!

Boy: [dumbest possible thing he'd do is force her to tell what the issue really is] I'm your friend you can share, ya'know? [Yeah right]

Girl: Of course. Actually my heart is aching :( I have a weird head since morning. Last night I had no good sleep. And today I feel like my heart is tearing apart. I feel like sulking all day in bed and I feel like crying my eyes out. Its been a while I feel like this and I have not a single reason for my behavior. I know its not my fault and I know I'm not being the person I was supposed to be. I have my own choices too. Do you know what I mean?

Boy: Okay? [He has no clue what she's talking about]

Girl: I want a hug. I want to be alone. I want to stand up and walk on my own. I don't want this life. I want a new life. I want a rewind button. :( *boo hoo*

Boy: [Boy is confused and ends up asking] Are you, like, fine?

3) Tell her she is pretty:

Boy: OMG look at you?

Girl: What? *turns around*

Boy: You're pretty!

Girl: Aw come on! *initially blushes* and later - You're such a liar. I haven't even washed my face. All I did was to get up from sleep and come to see you. Look at my eyes, they look so dropped down because of no eye-make up at all. And look at how dull I look in these warm colored clothes I'm putting on. I haven't even worn proper pair of socks beneath. And I have a bad hair day. Just take a look at these curled up strands. And you call me pretty?! I'm in my night suit sweety, what happened to you?

Boy: Okay, you're not pretty.

Girl: I told you, you're a liar.
*starts a fight until the boy calls her pretty in her night suit and until he says that she looks much better with the curled strands than the straightened hair*

Boy: *takes a deep breath*

Girl: Aw, sweety I love you!

Boy: *Oh yeah*

4) What are you doing?

Boy: What are you doing?

Girl: Me? I'm just trying to stay calm. Trust me its such a crazy day at work. I have some professional problems with my boss. And I just ate lunch. Did you eat? *interrupts without even listening to the answer properly* So, I was saying, my boss is such a jerk. He does not know what he talks. He's a big fat buffalo like really and he weighs probably the same as those black buffaloes do. I have a feeling that he probably chewed some grass in the morning for breakfast which is why he is carrying such a lousy behavior at work. And guess what we got our salaries today, yay I'll be going to the ABC store and get those DEF branded shoes for 123 rupees. So, I was talking about my fat boss. He has no clue who he's messing with, does he?! Arrrgghh he's so annoying.
Anyway, what you doing?

Boy: *does not listen fully about the fat buffalo boss but thinks about the random meetings he has to attend after an hour at work*

I'm just sitting. What you doing btw?! *pratially forgets what she was talking about*

Girl: Oh Jeez. Okay, I was talking about my boss. *continues the same story*

But hey, its just not the girls. I suggest you to talk to a guy about his favorite sport (or anything of his choice) and I bet you'll get the whole of wiki filled in your ears!

Well, we can't individualize on why guys speak less and why girls speak more. Both have a balance when it comes to speaking less or more. The whole thing is that we girls carry whimsical personalities when it comes to "topics to talk about".

And when girls and girls get into talking...?! The world looks BIGGER! xD

Hope you've got heaps of freedom this year. Happy iDay! ♥

On who I think I am..

2011-06-20T00:25:00.002+05:30

I remember writing something here when I couldn't get to eat an ice-cream. I'm here writing again after successfully making it happen. Though I haven't thoroughly enjoyed the ice-cream today, I still like the way we sat with the ice-cream cup in our hands. Speaking quite candidly, I sort of had a real crazy head while pillion riding again. I was forming pictures in my mind, of the same fall and my lil head scraping with pressure on the road. It was just for a normal five seconds. After that it was just the way it had to be, awesome. So, life gets busy at one point or the other. And I mysteriously managed reaching that point. Just wanted to update about a couple of things I been going through all these lovely days.

On being emotional : After the accident, I realised that life is sure not a game and it brought me too close to God. I know how important every second is. Somethings have been messed up for quite sometime and I been waiting in hope that it would get straightened someday or the other. I used to have absolute mood swings every now and then and I didn't quite learn on how to keep up pace with life. I was never ready to be patient at most cases but still tried to act patient and used break down from within. At times it got really difficult for me to recognize changes in life. For example, I used to sulk and be jobless the entire day and all of a sudden I don't see myself having even a minute time to have a look at myself. Most of all, I needed one friend I could really really talk my heart out to, even though I had I ended up missing out on chances. Out of the busy schedules that I've been under, I missed mom. I see her every morning but I don't get to throw my emotions on her. I needed time maybe a LOT of it just for myself. And hope sometimes had gotten hopeless which in a way was good.

On being a weirdo : After my accident I happened to be on a bed rest for 2 weeks as my leg was being plastered and I was asked to take good rest. I was on a medical leave and I was so happy about it. Not about my leg, but about the leave (certainly). There was this friend I knew from a long time, who kept asking me a couple of times to meet her. I thought okay I should because anyway I was bugged up at home for like 10 days. I needed change before I'm back to work. I ignored almost every possible thing and met her. Yes with the plaster on my leg. After a long conversation and after I slowly finished chomping on my kfc zinger, she asked me if I was free for the evening. And I said yes. She asked me to doll up because we were going for a fashion week show that evening. Yay, super excited and blah. I still went with the plaster to the show because I wasn't going to be on the ramp anyway all I had to do was sit in one place. We entered and we got our seats. To my right somehow I seen a couple of people who were talking to a gentleman. I gulped huge amount of redbull that was given away for free, and turned to the people next to me again. I seriously know not, why?! My eyes were fixed on the gentleman standing tall, oh-so-bright-and-very-handsome who I know for sure wasn't looking at me even a bit. Later, I found myself burying my head in my arms because he was the director of the company I am currently associated with. I hid myself as much as I could. Nevertheless, he did see me at the fashion week. Well, I was on a medical leave btw. When I whined about this, some lovely people of my life told me that I was recovering and no one has any right to question me. Well. I kept that in mind :D

On being a normal person : Emotional stuff had gotten me really weird for a while. I know it keeps happening now and then. But at this point in time, I feel myself way too happier than before. And all that gives me this joy is my faith in God. Because I believe that he makes all things bright and beautiful in His time. I feel like I'm back home. To the place I totally belong. I'm trying to LIVE 100%. Oh, if you wanna know. My leg is fully recovered. I'm back to work. And I had the best time with cousins this summer.

I shall write soon here with more fun stuff!! <3

In just one MINUTE

2011-04-09T00:51:00.004+05:30

She was pillion riding on the bike at a very normal speed on a flyover glancing at the street lights that seemed like shining yellow-orange dots in a dark space, thoroughly enjoying the pleasant weather with cool breeze blowing in her hair. She dislikes the smell of the ugly pollution but loves sharing some giggles with the rider every now and then which was making her the happiest of all on earth. Then she gets a quick idea to bless the mouth watering imagination about the ice-cream that she's gonna have after the ride with the rider but somehow the imagination broke as she was alarmed by the sound of a squeaky brake thats coming from a distance.

Her heart was quite NOT HAPPY knowing the fact that someone's gonna fall and maybe break a couple of their bones, she prays that nothing happens to that person who's losing control of the bike. She experiences a crazy doubt sweeping in her when the sound of squeaky brake, broke louder in her ears, how'd she know that she was gonna experience the most scary stuff for the first time in her entire life in that one minute? Her face felt cold and her heart went numb when the bike she was pillion riding on swung disastrously and she realized that someone who was supposed to be breaking bones else where has happily bumped into them in a great speed.

She had a sympathetic fear touching her heart while she hits her head on the ground, which made her feel that "GOD WAS CALLING HER HOME" and she thought maybe today is the day when she will be bidding goodbyes to earth and a huge hello to, err, probably Heaven? One thing that she wished for was that she and the rider stayed alive for a little longer because there is much to accomplish here. She was slowly reacting to the fact of what had happened within a span of no time, she widely gazes at the rider who's in a shock. She tries to pull her leg that's been lying under the bike for a normal 40 seconds after the bike crashed.

After a moments time she was on her feet, slightly limping and glances at the rider one more time with a clear vision to make sure things are fine. Though she couldn't bear to see the bruises of the rider. Her head was not in one place but revolved around something - "We're ALIVE". And the next thought again was "YEAH I know we're ALIVE".

Let me break it properly - This has been my first accident. Something that shook me a lil more than needed. I never got to eat that ice-cream I was craving for that day. We, ended up at a local hospital giving some details to the doctor and hearing people whisper in their ears "they met with an accident" and seeing pity in their eyes made me feel like crying beyond all hopes. No, we're seriously okay. At least now? WE'RE BETTER.

But, I've learned just one thing out of this whole thing, I SO WISHED FOR LIFE when I seen the face of a disaster coming my way. You won't know what happens in the very next moment of your life. Instead of an ice-cream cup in the hand, I was holding medical prescriptions with bruises on the arm and on the leg. Luckily my head didn't bleed nor did I go through some designer stitches :\ But yeah, I've had an egg-shaped bump on the head for quite sometime. But the fear of losing life was one thing that shook me the most. And one thing I'd wanna confess is that - There is nothing better than living happy in life because when you know you're life here is beautiful, you'll actually live happy when you leave this earth.

Stop cribbing. Stop crying over things that don't belong to you. Stop selfishness. Go do something that makes you and the person next to you happy. And most importantly, pray.

Now SMILE :-)

Colorful Love

2011-04-05T14:33:00.005+05:30

Yellow grass and green music

Blue air and white skies,

Red song and turquoise lyrics

Silver water and black fire,

Holding them all together

With shining stars in the hearts,

Breathing lavender & fruit

Sitting on an orange so cute,

Sliding through the glass of blue

Riding on the clouds so pink,

Talking to the moon at noon

To paint the sun blue & silver,

And build our house on a golden star

Blinking white never to fight,

Floating in colors we’ll make things right,

Smiling so aqua

Splashing purple lemon soda,

Dipping us in yellow and bright

To give you a chocolate hug too tight,

Because our love splendors

In many such colors!!

I know I barely make any sense, but yea love is crazy and it can get colorful often times. And this is how mad one can get when in love =P

Facebook

2011-03-10T01:12:00.020+05:30

Having a blog of your own and keeping it in a no life state is not cool. So, I am positive about writing here and keeping this thing alive like before. Welcome me back on blogger for the 100th time now. I pinky promise I'll keep writing.

Here are a few fresh funny things I wanted to share about Facebook. One major question I have always had was - What is Facebook?

And the answer that I have is - Facebook is unlike vampires who suck blood, facebook sucks all your time, right. And every living thing, has a facebook account. Lets see what Facebook generally does to people.

NEWSFEEDS

Me : What's up..?

Friend : Not much, long time how are you?

Me : I'm okay, haven't seen you around lately. How are things?

Friend : What are you saying? I am always around. Are you not on facebook? Don't you read my newfeeds on your wall?

Me : Err, well, I meant ... *Friend interrupts*

Friend : Go login and check my status messages!

Me : :-| Okay.

Friend : Hey and guess what? I joined cityville hehe *giggles*

Me : Huh?

THE PICTURE MANIACS

A group of friends were clicking pictures and were perfectly giggling and blushing while seeing how their pictures turned out in their cameras. Every where I could hear, "ooooohh I'm so gonna upload this one for my profile picture", And another yell from another girl "Aw, look at you. I'm gonna tag your boyfriend in this picture". Another happy and a squeaky voice "OMG look at this, I'm soooo gonna upload this one on HappyDent, we're gonna win the contest". And everyone burst into saying "WOWS" and "OOOOS" and "YAYS".

Well, facebook.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

Good day.
Bad day.
Life sucks.
Life's Beautiful.
I hate him.
I love her.
Is sad.
Is bad.
Is mad.
*eeeeeeeeeeee* :)
*Boohoo* :( :-|
Is in LOVE.
Just Broke up.
New Love.
Finally Married.

And the status messages go on. From personal to professional, from crazy to horrible, from wow to now, everything is typed for their status updates. And you get 32 likes already!

Well, Facebook.

DEPRESSED LOT

So, I was wondering, if devdas was on facebook, he'd have had deactivated his account a hundred times to get his love back. He'd have clicked on block and unblock options several times on Paro's profile, to ignore her and his tiresome case of blues.

People get so depressed and get angry with themselves, and they think Facebook is the major reason.

Are you annoyed with someone?
Are you depressed in life?
Do you have exams?
Do you think TIME is one of the most important ascpects in life?
Do you think you don't like Facebook?
Are you unhappy today?
Do you hate stalking profiles?
Did you break up with someone?
Do you want some time off for yourself?

If its a YES, YES, YES? Then deactivate Facebook.

I POKE YOU SO MUCH

Some of them never reply to the text messages you type to them, but they do poke you on Facebook. Which is like a blur clue to you saying - "Hey, I'm alive and poking, just that you know, I was really really busy with work, I couldn't reply to you :( Anyway, will poke you after you do. Mwah."

MY FAMILY IS ON FACEBOOK

I seen a lot of friends who have their whole family on facebook. Mumma, dadda, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, several cousins and their cousins. Facebook sure connects people well. They know how to be one of the billion users of facebook, but they don't have a clue on how to use the privacy options. They get caught in some mysterious things and end up in arranged marriages.

Well, Facebook.

FACEBOOK BECOMES A PART OF YOUR CIRRICULUM VITAE

Get yourselves ready to add "I AM ON FACEBOOK" in your CVs before you go for interviews.

CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS

The other day when I was at a wedding, a very close friend of mine took a deep sigh of relief after the wedding got over. I confusedly happened to ask him why he was so relieved? Like he successfully dusted something off his hands. He said "Now they can happily change their relationship status on Facebook, from single to married". That had gotten me burst into fits of laughter. While everyone turned around giving me a look of murder.

Oops!! Facebook.

These have just been a few random things that I could think and write, although there are so many things to talk about when it comes to facebook and the people in it. I was inspired to write this only after I realized my uncle the other day when we met at the wedding, happened to tell my parents "Hey, they're all in my friendlist on Facebook", and we siblings were looking at each other in horror.

Well, uncle, you're in the privacy list :-P

Facebook everywhere!

Thanks Mark Z.

Don't look at me right now...

2011-01-08T02:13:00.007+05:30

The only thought that runs fast around in the head when you don't want someone noticing you when you're doing something ridiculously stupid, "OH-GOSH-DON'T-LOOK-AT-ME-RIGHT-NOW". Thats an out-and-out feeling each of us go through randomly, very much when you decide to act stupid and expect no one to notice you. I been through some of the scenarios too, when I wanted to scream out loud "DO YOU HAVE TO LITERALLY LOOK AT ME WHEN I DON'T FREAKING WANT YOU TO?". Sometimes its unavoidable. But smiling at it and giving some meaning to that feeling "please don't look at me now".. "Oh shucks you already seen it".. shrugging off a never mind is the best part of it all.

The feeling "Don't look at me right now..." gushes through your mind maybe when :

Your boyfriend looks at you while your busy taking a HUGE bite of your burger.

You are noticed by your nephew while you pop a candy in your mouth and you freeze chewing it, and he ends up crying for that candy in your mouth. The worst part is you've had just one.

When you sneeze without having your hanky around your nose and your boss notices a wad of gum skating down through one of your nostrils.

When you are trying a new pair of stilettos at the store and you trip on them while walking and the sales guy notices you.

When you try kicking a stone while walking on the road with your best friend, and your leg swings in the air without touching the stone.

You raise to shake your hand with someone and that someone shakes a hand with another person not noticing your hand, you look around if someone's noticed. Yes. Someone does and again you end up with the feeling - "So you had to notice me at the wrong time huh?"

Farting out loud while laughing. You stop laughing but the one's noticed you do it, laugh out double loud. And you're buried with a feeling of "Oh shit".

Throwing a ball up high in the air and it bounces back on your head too hard.

You say hi to someone and they don't look at you, instead someone else looks at you.

So, these funny things are sure embarassing. But like I said, shrugging off a never mind and a giggle at yourself should make the scene a lil better.

I was caught during work, when I had this lil devil on my shoulder telling me that I am awesome at typing and that I didn't need to be triple spacing on a worst keyboard the company had fixed to my computer while shifting the work place to a whole new place. I realized that the keyboard was making my work even more slow and decided to run around and get a good keyboard for myself. I unplugged my keyboard, checked for computers that were not turned on, found one best keyboard and no one was working on it. I unplugged the keyboard from that computer, ran to my computer and fixed it. After fixing I ran to the other computer and fixed my keyboard. I got back to my system and realized that the CPU was making an awfully loud noise. I went down my knees to hide my face :| and tried to say sorry to it like it'd listen to me somehow. I was helpless. When I stood up, one of the seniors at work noticed me running-around! Well, I raised my hands helplessly "So, you've seen everything?". Thank God he was not one of the IT department guys. Anyway changing keyboards is not ILLEGAL if you ask me :-D

Let boys do some action for the Ad's...

2010-11-28T00:22:00.011+05:30

When you know life is just awesome, it’s all just awesome. But for me it’s awesomely busy. Well, it happens when you are employed and you’ve got work on your head for 5 long and crazy days every week. You barely get time to do positively nothing but for sleeping-eating-working-sleeping-eating-REPEATING. O-the-craziness-of-employment. The best part is tolerating the change, meeting new people, getting to know them, learning the work, my God. Okay whatever! Was I sounding extra-professional? Excuse me then. I was rather kidding. For the most part yeah I’m sort of in a whole new world. A world I know not of, new smiles, discovering myself, hating and loving things around, trying to be sane, taking rides early mornings in the freezing windy weather, blowing air on palms to feel warm, getting too much sleep over the weekends and consuming loads of coffee [advantage of free coffee machines at work]. So, Life? Precisely is awesome!

Coming back to some randomness - I don't watch a lot of TV, not because I barely get time, but I somehow don't find it so-very interesting. I don't know how but ended up staring at the TV screen the other day when I was left with no other alternative and started to wonder about these ads. The first question that ran across my mind was, WHERE ARE ALL THE BOYS GONE?! Why is it that everywhere its a girl? Fair, pretty, amazingly dressed, colorful hairbands in head, lots of eye make-up but standing and posing for a cell phone. If you observe closely, more than the ad, the girl is highlighted in it. Which makes a total zeroed sense. Wake up marketting jerks, get some boys do some action for the ads. Here are a few weird ads, with only girls in it. I know girls are AWESOME but I don't understand, don't guys eat chocolates? Don't they drink coffee? It doesn't seem fair for boys to be ignored somehow :P Anyway take a look.

This one's a cement ad? And the girl posing for it, wowness!

Sunrise furnitures only allow girls to sit on them! =D

These ad's can certainly be weirdly boring, but I remember receiving an email recently and I moved it to trash because I wasn't concerned to read it. When I went back to the trash box to look in for something important I thought I deleted, I found this e-mail and couldn't stop feeling pathetic.

Take a look :P
So, Mallika sherawat loves playing mafia and invites me to PLAY with her and also promises me that I'd be protected by her from my enemies?! =\ Yeah right!

And btw, I don't have children yet, but I get an email that my kid had sent a permission request that needs to be accepted by me to let him/her join cartoon network?

Erm, Dear kid, wherever you are stop sending such requests to me or I'll make you do all my office work.

Love,
Mommy! =D

Hope everyone's having a best week and its end. It's December already!

He is MY Gift...

2010-10-29T15:23:00.004+05:30

He’s always been a hero to me. He’s someone that prays for me day and night. Thinks about my life double than what I think. He gives me the smile that remains with me throughout my day everywhere I land. He brings me things that I like and throws away things that I hate. He tolerated my obstinate moods and taught me patience. He gave me the love that no one could give. He’s someone who has the right to correct me when I’m going wrong, taught me the value of life, taught me how to have faith in God and to love one another.

His helping nature always made me help others. And helping others gave me the best joy, the same joy I see in him. When I’m drowned in fear I know whom to look upon, I know he can pull me out of it. I know how much he loves me despite the fact of me being a rebel at times. Sometimes when I look back to my past life and see what it is, I see him who is always shining bright, wearing a smile, trying to always be there with me. That leaves me to think what life would have been without him.

I’m just putting down my feelings for this someone who will always remain special. He has been with me throughout my good and bad times like a friend. Even though I know I was scared to share with him much about me. We sometimes don’t find the time to talk to each other but still, he always made efforts to stay with me through the hard times I’ve been through. I still remember how he held my hands when I was broken and upset. He told me he’ll never let anything hurt me and promised to make situations right for me. He kept giving me warnings about life which I totally ignored. But now I know whatever he says is for the most part for my own good! And it’s always good to listen.

I don’t know what I would have been today without him. My dad. He’s the best gift from above.

He's celebrating a wonderful birthday on 29.10.2010, I have drafted this few months back. But I know it doesn't have to stay in my drafts anymore.

Happy Birthday Dad.

I so love this moment

2010-10-06T05:52:00.010+05:30

Every so often a feeling of "rolling back the clock" strikes repeatedly loud in my head. Thoughts like "You COULD have done that", "You SHOULD have waited a while", "You did a stupid mistake" kept poking me everytime that I felt like the present isn't offering its best. Regret is one of the amazing elaborated concepts in life. Yes one of the amazing elaborated concepts. Don't make that face, I know the word amazing sounds real sad but then without regret life barely gets cracking. Everyday you wake up with some regret weighing down on your shoulders. I've been taking similar roads with a load of weight on my back and walk it all until I fall down. The question is how many times have I made efforts to stand strong on my feet.

The other day I was with a friend stuck in a crazy traffic, and the place we were in, had like an insane ONE way road. It was so annoying because the store we wanted to go was somewhere at the back and we have to roam around the whole place to get back to the destination. We anyway, were the looney TRUE hyderabadi's who would never love following traffic or driving rules, we took the wrong route. There was heavy traffic and people were evidently out of patience with us since we were going on the opposite side of the road. It was an awkward moment to take the wrong route, however, for a few seconds I had this thought fluctuating irregularly in my head, "OH NO WE ARE ON THE WRONG ROUTE", some other thought ran through my mind "OH DAMN THE FELLOW RIDERS ARE ON THE WRONG ROUTE".

And that's how we always live our lives, taking wrong highways and calling it RIGHT. I've heard several people say "I need a rewind button in life". Sometimes, its not all about the rewind button, its all about the "I so love this moment" button we should die for. For the past 48 hours I been feeling like "I wish I used some brains back then". But never tried to be happy with the brains that I still can use for future purposes. I so badly need the "loving the moment buzzer in my head" so that everytime I look around and try getting back to where I was, I'll be reminded "Lady you shall love this moment forever".

And oh I'm buzzed. I love this moment :-)

Trust in what you trust..

2010-09-11T01:26:00.013+05:30

Just the other day, I was sitting on the couch thinking OMG its Saturday so soon. And today I sit and write these things and realized its Saturday again. Time is just flying by. Time's got wings baby. And I wish I had wings too, perhaps to fly backwards. Insane right? Anyway, I haven't been too lost to write something here, I had enough time, but I'm not sure where I'm putting it in.

Something terribly hurt me this week. Something I didn't expect would happen all over again. I "trust" and "believe" the ones I love so sanely that I would never allow myself to pass judgments on them. But sometimes the one you rely on may give up on you. The one you think is trustworthier may overlook the value you hand-out. Sometimes the one you know today is not the one you knew yesterday. I was being fooled around by someone I know is a very important part of my life. A good friend. A sibling. That person changed for good. Thinking way too much about the "change" that person adopted has gotten me swearing at myself for reasons that I should as a matter of fact stay thankful for. I was tad displeased with my very own nature of trusting people easily and getting too many wtf shockers in the end and sit with a tissue waiting to wipe off the watered eyes to get a clear picture of what really happened.

Life sometimes coaches us brilliant lessons yet we fail to heed. I realized it is purely necessary for each of us to be aware of all the things we learn everyday. I been lacking a lot of good lessons lately, although I'm the kinds who loves learning new things. But I always chose the easy way, ignore.But then, when I almost started to accept the fact that someone really close to me had picked their own choices of being untrustworthy, I thought to myself Hmmph so another good lesson. And the lesson is not to NOT TRUST anyone here after. But that, when you trust someone trust them WHOLLY don't really sit and cry beacause they broke it. It isn't your freaking responsibility if that someone really didn't bother to keep up the level of the trust you showed. No. It isn't. [And that doesn't mean you have to trust every tom, dick and harry :P]

Anyway, it is so damn weird to be in a situation where you know you feel like a complete fool without any complaints, without any annoying drama, without any expectations from that someone but yet the person walks out of your life happily teaching you a LOT. I definitely take a step back from peeving about the one who chose to walk out after breaking the whole trust. Because I know for sure, it wasn't my idea of being immature. I certainly know that whatever I did for that one person, believing or trusting or loving wasn't my fault.

I just gained a lil hope. Today's brightest star may not be the brightest tomorrow. Today's moon may hide behind the clouds tomorrow. But still, there's always a lil hope and you know that there are certain things that still exist and will be back for good. Just wanted you to know too, that things will change, but just for your GOOD. I'm accepting it now. And no, I'll still keep trusting the ones who I know are close to me, because I know I will be making a difference if I be me. Trust someone just like a child does that wouldn't make you any smaller. Its not gonna be your fault trusting anyone with your heart, it would be their fault for not understanding it.

Trust issues are crazy. And definitely shook me a lil more than needed. And some people are hard to be forgotten.

PS: Not complaining about that someone here but just had to let it out to look at the bright side!

I wrote my heart out...

2010-08-27T17:38:00.007+05:30

The life that has you in it, is so beautiful

The peace that I own has made every day and night so simple,

The love that grew for you over the days will last forever

The pleasing days life could endeavor in giving me ever,

The smile that you introduced me to, has been bested

The wonderful feelings that my heart ever could realize existed,

The steps that we took in faith

The tenderness of your hug draping me in the most amazing warmth,

The brightness that lasts each time I see you around

The livliness of the joy remains astound,

The confidence you give me when you hold my hand

The strength that I get freely without a demand,

The love and prayers wrapped under a huge white petal

The belief I have, that you're my God's only sent Angel,

The amazing walk of our life

The unspoken words that never led us to a strife,

The smile you share with me that only causes an unknown happiness deep within

The dreams that take me to a world I've never been,

The silence we faced at times

The unexpected sound of our heartbeats that only made harmonious chimes,

The world when seemed quite impossibly distant

The dimness has spread around appeared completely silent,

The glee we still shared

The eyes that always seemed prepared,

The beautiful lessons of love

Forever we learn to give,

Because, baby, these wonderful days together have been a miracle to me

We'll stay together thankful, joyful and beautiful because that is what is meant to be.

PS: I wrote my heart out for the special one of my life! :-)

On being Ridiculously Random...

2010-08-12T00:09:00.015+05:30

Just in case you thought I was dead? Nay. Good news I'm still alive. I was sure LOST but didn't have any real thing to write about. I've had a hard attitude with myself for a while now. I was busy whining out complaints weakly about bizzare situations happening around. More like dabbling in a pool of self-pity. I've been making weighty efforts in keeping my head straightened up so that it doesn't look at the 'nightmare' sort of things that are already over. Sheesh! This is widely the problem with us [or just me], we end up worrying about those least favourable situations until they become flawless, later sit and wonder what the hell man? I been through so much shit already?! Haw? I mean, yes it is one hundred percent human.

But I believe, its better to let go off those things that have already waved an awesome good bye to you. Because some weird things come to us for a short time. More like a 24 hour thing. So, nothingness hit me hard for a while, by default. Don't think I suffered. I enjoyed it. The point is if you don't love your life, its gonna act crazily awful with you. So, just learn to love every bit of it. Okay? This might seem nothing interesting to read, but I definitely chose to empty my mind for good. And now I feel its long past time to change the subject *smiles happily than ever*

Currently :

I'm in love with the awesome weather. Cloudy. Wet. Grayish. Sometimes its got amazing shades of faded blue. I'm happy because its been quite a while since I got baked in the hot weather.

I wish for some extra stars in the sky. Or I probably wish I lived on a hilltop so that I can see the stars even more clearer without any pollution issues. Jeez. Like honestly do you still see those bright stars up in the sky these days, like we saw as kids? I say hell no. I wish to have a busy star gazing night sometime real soon.

I'm reading Right fit wrong shoe by an Indian writer Varsha Dixit. I want to write too. I mean write and publish my own books. Long way to go though. But someday I'd love to see my book(s) in the library stacks! That might sound crazy. You can laugh I won't mind. *Makes a face*

I miss my best girl friend as she chose to fly to another country for the sake of studies. Sharing one of my personal favourite pictures of us both.

Anyway, whats wrong with facebook? :-O It always gets unusual things in front of my eyes. Which in a way, is good. Gets some giggles in action. The questions were messed up :-|

AND

PS: Smiling is important.

A hug of hope...

2010-07-14T19:10:00.006+05:30

I want to hold myself tight from those unacceptable frozen situations that seem to be taking forever to melt. I want to crawl away from the moments that only allow me to enjoy a blow. I want to paint everything around me with bright colors, because they seem black and white. I want to have more faith even when my wishes seem to be neglected. I want to slide away from the thoughts to feel a lil less crappy. I want to smile even when I know I'm feeling miserable on the inside. I want to avoid desires for tomorrow to be lucky, because I feel a strong need for this moment to be luckier. I want to be ready to be irreparable even if broken into million pieces. I want to stand up firm even if my legs get weaker. I want to be positive when negativity jabs at me hard. I want to hear something that can make my heart go glee. I want to wait without expectations. I want to keep my eyes open for the very best part of my life...

And beyond anything, all I want right now, is a HUG of HOPE!

A girls handbag, REALLY?

2010-06-29T00:00:00.005+05:30

I miss writing. Changes happen sometimes like a lot. I was busy in one of the happiest worlds in the recent past and even now. I wanna write it all but time sometimes time doesn’t permit and so does laziness [grins]. Well, anyway now that I’m back to the writing mode, I wanted to share this very personal experience I’ve had couple of days back when I went to this youth meet I attend every Saturday at a church. After the singing session there’s always a game that’s organized for relaxation before we proceed to hear the preacher preach to the youth. So, games are always fun ain’t they? We were all set, and were divided into four different groups. I was content with the group I was in. Later I was asked to shift to group 3 because there were just a few of them and it needed to be equaled.

I was like ‘Okay never mind game is a game even if you sit with different groups’. The group I joined had like 5 boys and just one girl excluding me. I sat with the girl and we waited for the rules of the game to be told out. The game was all about writing A-Z on a piece of paper and writing down all the things that you have that starts with a specific letter. So, if its ‘A’ then you need to have a thing that starts with that letter. Simple? [Yeah, very simple but I hardly

understood the rules and the game until it began]. At the back of my mind I was wondering ‘oh gosh how do we even find so many things? Like, 26 alphabets and 26 things you’ll need?' Anyway the highest list of things collected by the groups will be given a gift in the end. So, BIG deal [winks].

The paper was given to me, I was asked to write A-Z vertically. Remember this was a team game. I wrote it all down in an awkward handwriting. Then we started discussing about all the things we have. All I had was a wrist band. I could fill the letter B as Band. Then the girl who was with us in the group opens her handbag and starts taking out everything.

A – ATM

B – Band [that’s mine]

C – Cream

D – Deodorant

The game got a lil exciting as we knew we would get the highest number of things from the BAG.

E - Eyeliner

F - Facewash

G - Gold

H - Hair-clip

Dude! Don't underestimate a girls bag huh!

[We definitely didn't find anything with I and J as time was running out we jumped to K]

K - Kerchief

L - Lipgloss

M - Money

N - Napkin

O - Orbit

P - phone [one common thing eh?]

R - Rosery

S - Shoe

T - Thread

U - *blank*

Time was running out and we all looked at her for help. She opens her bag and shows it to me and says -

She - "What else do we need from this?".

Me - WHOA! There are so many things still? :-O *In shock*

She - Yeah *looks happy*

[we proceed with the game]

V - visiting card

W - watch

X - *blank*

Y - Year calendar

Z - Zip [Trust me she allowed a guy to break a zip of her hand bag]

Who do you think won the task?! We? No! The girl with the handbag. Amazing. *Round of applause* woohoo!

A woman's bag is the most expensive thing eh?

[If you're wondering about my handbag, don't wonder I never carried one.]

Oh how I wait for you....

2010-06-10T21:29:00.003+05:30

The lonely steps I take alone with little difficulty, not knowing who I’d come across on my way. The weather lacked color; it was uncomfortably chilled and breezy. I pull my hands together rubbing them somewhat, to warm myself from the cold wind and also the mystifying slap of tingle on the inside. The steps taken alone with abundant thoughts running at the back of my mind make a lil curve at the edge of my lips. Smile. You stand there tall in front of me looking at the other side of the road. I stop. I look at your sparkling eyes, unable to read even a single thing because I see a thousand words flashing at a time. I try looking away but I’m stuck. The world was absolutely still and everything else around you and I appeared blur.

It looked like the world has come to an end. If I ever happen to be in a place where I’d see your glistening eyes then I’m ready even if everything comes to an end. My heart speaks nothing for a while. I wanted to see you for as long as I could. The weather has become even dimmer, the breeze hitting stronger in my face this time and blowing hard in my hair. That’s exactly when your eyes meet mine. A huge raindrop fell dropped on my cheek like a tear. I wipe it with my cold hands, not really missing out on keeping me eyes open to yours. My heart beats one beat faster than usual. You take a step back, with a half-smile on your lovely face. Now I see your back, because you chose to turn away, and take your own steps. I still waited there frozen in the cold rain which turned me all blue.

Why did I wait? Yes, for you to say something. Why did it rain? Because we were destined to meet. Why did you turn away? Because you had your own steps to take. But I waited. I would wait for you until eternity, just to have you stand there with me in the cold rain, which didn’t seem to be hurting me even a bit. I wanted to stand right there and protect your smile. Too many thoughts in my head. Too many ways I see I could take. But yet, I stopped. I froze there because I was sure; if it was meant to be then you will turn around and come to me. You would take my hands in yours and will keep them warm. You’d make me feel cozy even in this freezing cold rain that is never-ending. My feet are numb. My cold hands start to shiver a lil. My lips are still. My eyes have shut. I realize something warm rolled down my cheeks, the warmth of my tears. When I opened my eyes, everything looked perfect and clear. Now, I see you even clearer than what I saw before. You were right in front of my eyes.

You didn’t realize my eyes were wet with tears as the rain hid it all. You rub on my cheeks gently with your hands. You take my hands and hold them tight. I try to shake a lil to see if I was dreaming, but no, you came back. You knew I waited for you. You held me tight and made me feel warm. I see your sparkling eyes on me so strong! The joy in my heart is full. I feel like smiling a thousand times. This is you, who knew, I waited. You held me close and whispered the most amazing words- “I’ll hold you like this forever even in the storm, I’ll keep holding you”.

And now I see that we stood under a bright cloud.

PS: sometimes all you need to do is - WAIT :)

'Better' kicks in, in its own time...

2010-05-26T01:42:00.004+05:30

Sorry for the longest delay in posting something here. There was so much happening with me for the past one month and I’m running short of BEST words to rhapsodize the whole thing. But I can talk about this quote that’s been kicking in my life even when I'm on the verge of avoiding it – “Everything happens for a reason”. When you use this line when someone’s highly depressed, you’ll be asked questions like HOW many other reasons coming my way and etc. It’s okay you can gladden anyone with this saying because it’s VERY true. Maybe the person wouldn’t be ready to take it positively then and there but will learn the depth of it directly or indirectly after a while.

Primarily that’s what has happened with me too. Last year, April and May has taken me on a tour to hell. I crashed into depression. I was unhappy and acted off-the-wall the whole day. Many of them said these words to tranquilize my pain. But I was never fully apprehended about what it all meant. Why does anything need to happen just for one GOOD reason I thought. I used to yell at people who comforted me and told them not to overlook the obvious. And trust me I never believed in that saying. It’s always been like a muddled ‘quote’ and I had no way of being sure about the good reasons that were on the way to my life. But honestly today I feel that I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of figuring out what this saying really meant. Life at times throws rotten shit in your face. Stop peeving about it. Wipe it out. What else can you do?

I needed help for my own. I wanted to get rid of all the crap. I learned to wait for right things to happen in their own time. And trust me waiting for BRIGHT things will bring BRIGHTER things. This year, April and May has taken me on a tour to heaven which I never thought would happen. And it’s true, everything happens for a GREAT reason. So wait. Don’t hurry and mess up things. Stop having one tracked minds, it’s not gonna help but a healthy attitude helps to wipe off the rotten stuff. Wait for the ‘better’ to kick in just like how I waited. And again I say – Everything happens for a good reason!

On a sweet note to my Parents

2010-05-14T13:10:00.001+05:30

Mom and Dad,

Don’t niggle I’m not running away from the house [not anytime soon]. By all odds I disfavor running away from home letters, because why to run away considering the fact that you have to inform? Okay this is breaking away elsewhere. Bottom line this ain’t a runaway letter. This is a thank you letter and also a love you letter. Because I’ve known you both for 22 years now and you have been a slap-up strength and exceedingly great support to me always. Regardless of the fact that I used to share half of the things with dad and many other things with mom, still you both loved me like crazy. Dad I remember you carrying me on your shoulders and going around for walks and sometimes also danced to the music with me on your shoulders. It was easy to carry me then no? But I still want to be carried on your shoulders. As I’m writing this I just remembered the times when we used to ride together in dad’s old ambassador car and I would sit between both of you in the front seat. Sometimes I also dozed off holding dads arm and mom would pull me close to her. I remember some very cute talks you both used to have and dad would just adjust his throat to remind mom that I’m listening.

And the times when you both held hands and prayed for three of us. As parents you’ll did the best job. You’ve given us everything we’ve asked for. Most significantly the impartial love that was shown towards us has kept us all so strong and rich in love. Dad, remember when mom took a loud tone on me and you got so mad at her, but you couldn’t help it because you loved mom as much as you loved me? And that day you took us both for a drive in the car and got me my fave drink, coke? And mom, do you remember how I tried drawing yours and daddy’s pictures on the wall with crayons and you both ended up saying, you taught her all this, no you taught her, she’s your favorite you’ve spoiled her and blah?

I remember every lil bit of our journey together until this day. There are lot more things I can share but it’ll be like a longest letter and I’m not ready to see ya’ll yawn while reading this so very cute letter. Mom you’ve been the patient queen of the house and dad being the busy bee. You both are the best parents I’ve known; even today I can see the same love dad has for mom and the same grumpy look mom gives to dad when she needs pampering. Everything is still the same. Only thing is you both are getting old. I’m writing this randomly on May 14^th just to wish you both a very happy wedding anniversary. You both are like wings to me. You let me fly everywhere I want to. Your love has kept me strong throughout these years. Your support has helped me be a support to a lot of others. The smiling face I see every morning beside my bedside – Mom. And the loving face I see every morning when we sit together for family prayers – dad. You both mean so much to me. I know I've disobeyed a lot of times, but still you both held me so close and never let me go.

I promise to be the same cute lil one you held in your arms since my day one on this earth.

Happy Wedding Anniversary.

Love you both so much !

Zynga, the energy and the mangoes... :-|

2010-05-04T21:16:00.030+05:30

Happiness chased me when I read the blog birthday wishes from all of you. That’s real sweet; It restored the confidence in me when you'll left beautiful comments asking me to write more. I’ve been racking my brains to come up with a LONG post but I’m giving up the idea for now. I went through a couple of posts I’ve written about face book on this blog. Yes, I did laugh like a LOT reading it all over again. If you’ve already done the guessing then yes, you’re right. I’m back with just two other funny things I’ve come across on face book again.

Zynga , one of the best game applications on facebook. These zynga games are mainly energy based games, like, you will have to waste a bunch of time waiting for the energy to get refilled and you also have an option to waste money on buying the energies. I’ve recently adopted this weird temptation of playing treasure isle, although I remember taking an oath never to play such silly games ever, I’m allowed to break oaths, and so I did break it for the second time now. The game seemed so interesting at first that I remember digging for treasures even in my dreams. Something caught my eye the other day and I didn’t exactly know how to react to it. I realized I was on the floor laughing so hard until my eyes and nose watered especially when I clicked on 'Accept gift' :-|

This is what it had displayed :

I get mangoes from where? Someone's Chest? [It would have been appropriate if it said treasure chest]. The zynga guy needs to change that sentence ASAP. [I have no idea if the changes have been made already, because I’m not playing that game ever again, no not because of those mangoes, but because I'm bored with it all.]

And oh, yet another random friend request that I've received from this person had this amazing statement written on his 'About me column" which I will never be able to forget in the years to come.

So, guys please don’t give mangoes to your friends from your chests, it sounds eek really [By that I meant stop playing funny games] and please start AWAIDING girls its good for health. :-)

PS: All the treasure isle fans please don’t swear at me.

One year already?

2010-04-25T19:23:00.006+05:30

For all those who know me faintly, I’m highlighting a very important point about me - I’m bad at remembering birthdays. Oh yes I did write about it twice [Here]. I send a lot of belated happy birthday greetings to friends. Or they remind me to wish them [if they have patience that is]. I somehow believe it’s just not me and that happens to some of you reading too. ~~Otherwise I do have a very good memory~~.

Now, coming to the OH-SO-VERY-IMPORTANT point, I forgot about my blog’s birthday which was supposedly on April 14^th. Today I realized I missed out on something and went back to read my old posts and there you go the “Oh NO”… “This is real sad”… “How could I” … “Wt(bleep)… “Shit” and all other sorts of expressions flushed on my face one by one. But it’s okay. Fair enough. This blog, if it had mouth to speak it would have reminded for sure because this blog is like my best friend. I write all that I want to and read all that I’ve written whenever needed.

Before I give more speech about this blog, I’d love to scream a BIG BIGGER BIGGEST thank you the readers for being patient and liking my long, boring, funny and philosophical posts. Every comment of yours gives me the energy to write more. I promise to keep up to it. And also I love the freedom I get to write whatever I want here on my space. The best part is I made a bunch of good friends for life through blogger. And now I’ve decided to avoid further speeches because it’s a celebration time baby.

So it’s my blog’s first birthday and this is going to be the 50^th post. So it’s a double yay.

Happy Birthday to “Wearing an Invisible Crown”.

[Thank you’ll for the wishes :-P In advance]

Excuse me?

2010-04-17T03:49:00.011+05:30

Isn’t it excellent to have an older brother? I feel it’s exceptionally good, although lemme not emphasize more on the drawbacks for now. My bro [danny] is two years older to me and we have a great relationship, yes we do fight a lot, but in the end we’re like best friends. To be honest, after mom he’s my next favorite in my family [I hope my older sister is not cursing me]. I like both my siblings but danny is my favorite, ah, well you get it no? Okay. We have the best understanding. And the best part here is that he does everything that makes me happy. And yes he loves me just the way I do too.

Danny and I hang out together. We do have mutual friends. And most of my other friends who are not so close to me are aware that I have a brother but are not aware of how he looks like. Here are a few examples I wanted to share of what had happened with us recently which were laughable, memorable, wonderful and horrible too!

First one –

We went for shopping and Danny parks the car. I get out of it. Then he gets out of it. Door slams. I bump into this oh-so-long-ago-friend.

Friend – Hey Esther right?

Me – hey hi, long time, how you been?

Friend – Yea long time. I’ve been good. I’m engaged.

Me – oh that’s a great news *giggles*

Friend – so what you doing these days? When are you getting married?

Me – [why is that a question now anyways?] Err, actually no plans yet.

Friend – oh just dating eh? *eyes on my bro with a naughty smile on her face*

Me – sorry?

Friend - *points at danny* and *shrugs*

Me – Excuse me? He’s my bro.

Friend – oops :O

Second one – There’s always this problem when you ride with a guy be it your colleague, your classmate or your very good friend. If a girl and a guy ride together the world loves to create unwanted relationships in their minds.

We were stuck at a traffic signal. And pillion riding on danny’s bike is like risking your own life. No he’s not a bad rider the problem is, I don’t find a single thing to hold onto when I pillion ride with him apart from his broad shoulders. We found a lot of beggars come our way asking for money. We were busy with our talks but I still quite remember this one beggar who was slowly mumbling while begging and was almost touching my feet. I was digging my pockets to give her some coins because she looked old, while I heard her say something in hindi Dua hai ke tum dono ka Jodi humesha banaya rahe [May God keep you both happy always] And all I could say was “Excuse me?” ….. “He’s my” …. And the signal broke and my bro rode as fast as he could. And she couldn't gain the coins either :| [Not my fault]

Third one – How many of you carry wallets? Everyone yeah? And how many of you have pictures of your loved ones in it? All of you? Nice. I have a picture fixed in my wallet too. Danny’s. So, the thing is I have a habit of making every uncle and aunt of the street as my friend. Be it a dry cleaning lady, a roadside tailor, or a chai-wala [Tea-seller]. I go to this very tiny store every alternate day to get credits for my phone and yes that store guy is my friend too, obviously. He never saw my wallet before, because I always dug my pockets for money. But that day I had to pay him extra so I had to open my wallet in front of him, while he was busy asking me to sell my bike to him once I leave India [for higher education]. I kept doing ho-hum for a while until I found a 100 rupee note and he suddenly said HEY your boyfriend. I looked around. I looked at him with a straight face. He raised one of his eyebrows and gave a wicked smile looking at the picture in my wallet.

Excuse me? He’s my brother!

[So, ultimately when I hang out with my bro alone or if I ride with him, people who don't know me think that we're dating. What a world this is.]

PS: If I experience anything funnier, I will share it for sure.

PPS: Have a happy weekend!

Yes I'm a Foodie....

2010-04-09T03:06:00.015+05:30

I remember writing a kickass good-bye letter to 2009 here. For some reason, 2010 has been surprisingly impressive [so far]. I 've got all I wanted, I'm happier than I was in 2009, I am doing perfect [touch wood] and I hope it remains the same. Bleh, but who wants to know what happens tomorrow? Until now its super fine. And I realized I've gained 4 kgs [8 pounds if I'm not wrong] in one month. And was shocked to see the weighing machine showing a good number this time, at least not like before, the oh-so-under-weight-you-are number. I jumped off the machine, rubbed my eyes, removed my cell phone from the pocket [to make sure it wasn't adding extra numbers on that machine :-P]. I stood again, to recheck if it was NORMAL. I called MOM. There was a silence. She knows I was checking weight, but she shot a BLAH look at me. I ran towards her, pulled her over to the machine, stood again and winked at her, pointing one finger towards the machine. She looked at me once, then at the machine [TWICE]. Then at her Hand bag once. I asked her what she was upto? She pulled out her reading glasses to make sure she read it right. And YES! Celebration time for the entire family because I gained 4 kgs, which was so unbelievable.

But that made me feel tad inwardly attentive all together. OMG am I looking too fat? That question fed me too much of worry. Because previously even if I overate it never made a difference, so I was a lil nervous about looking at my NEW self. Okay whatever. I decided to keep a track of what I eat as I determined not to disappoint the new pair of jeans I recently bought. I made a list of ways to avoid over eating and how to go for a walk to keep myself fit. But then, rules are for papers eh? Now being a major hogger is the best thing you know? Because previously I always skipped food whenever I was grumpy, upset, depressed and most importantly lazy. And by skipping food, I would get so much patience especially when I'm bound to deal with those sort of moods. Like as if I've scared my worries away?! But now there's a LOT of difference I see in myself. I am being less grumpy, less depressed but even if I am, I know food has become my favourtie thing.

I knew how I always told mommy how much I hated some of the veggies. And how I almost cried when she cooked something I never liked. And mommy used to show me a basket full of maggie packets in the kitchen. "Eat that junk if you don't like that veggie", she'd say to me. I prefer eating that veggie than cooking maggie for myself. Yes, lazy bum you are allowed to call me that. For a change I don't remember which veggie I hated before? I started eating almost everything. Which made it easier for mommy to NOT buy too many maggie packets these days and that doesn't mean I started ignoring maggie. Its still like my 'chaddi buddy' [Childhood friend].

And lastly I congratulate myself on successfully gaining a pound of flesh, that's like a biggest achievement for me this year. [Even though some of em say I look the same, LEAN and no change, but weighing machines don't lie].

Make sure you don't miss out on eating excess of watermelons, eggs, fruit salads, mangoes [Ah I know no one will miss this one], more veggies, cucumber and apple salad! And don't miss out on drinking Tang, lime soda and red bull. Water is the best option though. [That's on my summer eating and drinking list.]

EAT WELL. STAY FIT. BE A FOODIE.

Love is the glimpse of Heaven....

2010-04-05T14:29:00.019+05:30

A very cute girl has this cute love for someone…. And talks her heart out with her friend…

Friend – You love him so much right?

Girl – Yes. *shots a quizzical look at her friend*

Friend- Wondering how I knew what’s in your heart?

Girl - *half-smiles*… Well, who else can read it apart from you?

Friend – I am unsure if it’s all about reading, but your eyes speak, when you look at him like that.

Girl – you observe too much. *throws a book at her*

Friend - *Catches the book* … so, why don’t you just go tell him about how you feel.

Girl – how I feel?

Friend – yeah, the heart thumps faster when you see him, the music in the background, the breeze blowing in your face etc etc!

Girl – Jeez it never happened. But heart thumping faster part is agreeable.

Friend – yeah whatever, so go tell him all of that. Like, I love you and can’t live without you stuff.

Girl – No I can’t.

Friend – You want me to help you?

Girl – No. Not that way. I mean, I don’t want him to know my feelings for him.

Friend - *gives the weirdest look* … Okay? And why on earth is that?

Girl – What would I tell him? “Hi, you know what? I committed a blunder trusting a guy when I was 17. Then fell for someone else’s words when I was 20 and eventually ended up having thick scars on my heart. Now I fell in love with you. What’s your answer? Is that what I’m supposed to tell him?

Friend – Err. Chica. You don’t have to tell him about the things happened in your past. Tell him about what you feel for him right now. And who would want to know a decade’s old story? Love is love. Go let him know before it’s too late.

Girl – So, according to you, love is being dishonest?

Friend – No, I don’t mean it like that, but you should just tell him about your feelings first, then about your past life.

Girl - *grabs the book from her (friend’s) hands, starts flipping pages* …

Friend – Okay, I won’t ask you to do anything, but answer this question.

Girl - *Question mark face*

Friend – What if you see him getting married to someone else?

Girl- Ouch. It’s gonna invite another crack to my tiny heart. But you know what? I want something like that to happen. Not the crack, I want him to be with someone more deserving and not me. I’m gonna be happy for him although there will be the lil ‘ouch’ continuing.

Friend – Go jump somewhere. Save the philosophy.

Girl – No seriously. I don't want the whole idea of being expressive eat me up, when the answer is a hell NO from him. Loving isn’t about being together, or wanting each other badly. It’s just about LOVING. It has no rules. No conditions. It’s just called love. It’s about how happy you can live for someone you love. Hoping for that boy’s happiness serves me the best moments. I desire to stay alone loving him, than being with him and someday losing him.

* * *

Silence between both while the girl talks to herself in the inside -

[That’s what I think about love no idea about other’s ideas, maybe I’m wrong but it’s okay. It's good to express but I'm not ready yet for another ache in the heart. But what matters really is to see that boy happy always.]

Friend – I like it.

Girl- Which part?

Friend – The loving logic :-)

Girl- hmm-mm *Nods head vertically*

Friend - **Hugs her tight**

…so this cute girl can’t express it to him because she thinks it’s better to not hold onto something so tight and later realize that it’s been released from the hands leaving too many scars to the heart. Sometimes heartbreaks make it such a tough thing for anyone to be expressive because the fear of losing someone always remains in their thoughts. But ultimately you’ll know the exact meaning of love and that is what the girl finally learned. She learned how to LOVE and not expect anything out of it.

Love as much as you can. And remember when you start expecting things, you’re only making way to a regretful life ahead.

We can do no great things; only small things with great love -

Mother Teresa

PS: Not a real story. Story about how the things of the past made that girl non-expressive and not being prepared for the future and all she believed in was to love!

Grammar issues of facebook FAN PAGES

2010-03-31T00:10:00.037+05:30

How many facebook addicts there are really?! Countless eh? I’m one of biggest addicts and the interesting part of facebook is “Joining Random groups and becoming fan” because those groups/fan pages relate to what I think in some way or the other. And yeah I also like playing mafia wars like a DON. I always get extraordinarily busy with joining these groups if I seriously find nothing else to do! The other day I realized that I became a fan of so many fan pages and found so many grammar issues with some of the fan pages and also spelling errors! I wondered who would want to join such groups or become a fan of it anyway. But those groups, to some extent made me laugh my ass off.

1) This group stole my thoughts again

2) So this group asks you to join because something HAPPENDS if you do! Wow. Join!

3) My hobby is laughing at this :-)

4) Okay hello? I still didn’t get this, you mean A PART?

5) Grammar disaster.

6) You mean make real friends? I totally appreciate the number of people who joined it.

7) Okay that’s weird?

8) Jelouse? Which language is that?

9) Ya okay!

10) Sure I will BE smile every time :-)

11) Honestly when I joined this group I didn’t notice the error in TOGETHER. But that’s okay understandable.

12) The funny part of this fan page is the image. Do we really have to display a fan to prove it’s a fan page?

13) The guy/girl who created this page must have created it when they had the “Drop in the stomach feeling”. Seriously what a mess of words!

14) Yes yes and all that eh?

15) Incomplete title… oops facebook allows limited characters for a name of the group, that’s what happens when you write paragraphs.

16) Why did she what?

17) Who made this? :-|

18) Where deodorant? WOW!

19) Excuse me?

20) Yeah right..

21) Hopeless group.

22) Does? No I doesn’t :-) LOL >_>

23) Guys come on you all need a life SENT(A)NCE :)

I don’t understand the logic of using “MA” for ‘my’ and ‘k’ for ‘OKAY’. These shortcuts for some reason piss the hell out of me.

24) Too many MA’s … if there was a MY instead of MAH it would have been decent.

25) What is BUH now? It’s BUT dude.

And some honest facebook groups ever

26) This one’s hilarious. Seriously? Who would be so honest?

27) Another fantastic honesty, not sure if she created it herself or someone else created it for her. Its sad.

I’m not sure how many of you reading this post joins several groups like I do, and I have no idea how many of you came across such hilarious groups.

PS: If the owner of the group is reading this, please don’t mind, its a nice way to make others giggle! =)

PPS: Okay now, if you're judging me for these blurry images, I'm sorry, I took the screen shots not knowing it would turn too tiny! I had to resize the images and so the blur story! :-)

HAPPY EASTER ! ♥

Living in the silence of a night….

2010-03-25T00:18:00.009+05:30

There were a few nights in my life I wanted to stay awake in bed thinking about everything possible. After a long thinking I just wrote my thoughts because I knew I could hear them in my ears LOUD. This is what I remember I wrote -

Sometimes all you need in life is a night alone with yourself and the silence of it. When you consider carefully about the muteness around, lying in bed, you manage to listen attentively to your heart which speaks of million things that you crave on holding tightly with both your hands and how much you wish that they stick around with you forever. How much you hate to let it just go. Sometimes all you learn in life are the terms “get” and “lose”. You’re a winner when you 'get' You feel like a loser when you “don’t”, however you seek intently to grab everything that doesn’t belong to you any longer. You stick on all the sides of things that you don’t deserve and you convince yourself of being happy with the non-deserving things. The silence of the night brings back the sweet memories and also the night terror that you endlessly try staying away from. You puzzle over about everything you did in the day, wondering if you’re gonna be awake tomorrow with the same happiness that you have right now. You think about the love you get and the love you lost. You wanna go back and reverse things that are no way possible. You try to put the things in new order that are highly chaotic. When life gives you a chance to change things that are messed up, it’s always nice you adopt it. Don’t think about waiting for things to fall in place, because no matter how hard you try, certain things are impossible to happen with ease. Don’t stick around with things you don’t deserve. The best way to avoid that is to understand what you really want in life. Work on the best things that can make you happy. Grasp the significance of something that can make your life brighter.

When you ever feel again to have yourself the whole silence of the night, just learn to give a wink to all that happened in the past, tell it that it can’t change your present. Live in the moment, smile as much as you can and say “I love you life”. Think well about tomorrow. Hope for the best to fall in your hands! Hold it tight. And remember if you’re taking a rough road, it only means that you’re heading towards something BEAUTIFUL. Take that road. Live it through. See the change.

The day I spent alone at home....being highly lazy!!

2010-03-17T01:34:00.004+05:30

It is pretty relaxing when you spend time with your own self the entire day. It’s a rarity that my parents or siblings leave me alone at home for the entire day, not because I’m like the lil kid in home alone movie, but because we hate staying apart for too long. I’ve had least bit of idea that they were all busy for the day, and I was being jobless (for sure). I was busy jogging and listening to a couple of Jing-bang numbers like Boyfriend by Ashlee Simpson at somewhere around 7 am and these kinda numbers are good when you go for a jog, you go bobbing the head like one-two-three-and-four and people around get a weird idea that it’s some sort of a neck exercise. Well, I’m bobbing to the rhythm uncles and aunties, you don’t get it. See I have the earphones plugged in. How would people in their 70’s or 80’s know that anyway? Back to my jog and bob mode. The best part of morning jogs is the Feeling of fresh morning wind blow in your face, and the mild sunrays that peek through the trees around and shines on your face like an orange glitter, splashing water over your face to wipe away the sweat after ~~bobbing~~jogging, exchanging smiles with strangers who come for brisk walks and yoga. Day starts off nice.

I bid see ya’ll in the evening, blowing air kisses, and waved bye until the car sped outta my sight. Mom gave me a thousand instructions I hardly remember. And I’m sure she has an idea that not even half of what she said will be done by me. I’m sure she’ll understand my laziness. The day is mine, the house is mine, the roof is mine, the Teevee remote is mine, loud music is mine, and fun is mine. Wow. I know its morning, and ghosts don’t come outta their private hell in the mornings or afternoons. Do they? I don’t think so, really! I leaped on the stairs, climbed three at once, singing loudly, while my neighbor looks at me surprised. It’s okay to be surprised, to see me awake so early, leaping and singing on the stairs. That’s somewhat like an odd midnight for me, eight in the morning, yeah. I changed my sleep-late-wake-late schedule to sleep-early-wake-early sort of a thing. I feel HUMAN.

I always sleep without planning for tomorrow, so that my plans are steady in position and that they don’t turn out being the greatest disorder. When my plans are muddled I feel like they’re actually laughing at me. How rude. I got home after the jog, musical head bobs, blowing byes and kisses to my family, leaping on stairs and surprising my neighbor. I look at the family photo as soon as I enter the house because that was hung right on the opposite wall of the entrance door. We all look like we were flying down from heaven in that photo. Guys I’m gonna miss you for today, love ya’ll okay? Come back soon. That’s what I said and walked off to my room.

I checked the number of messages I had received in my phone. Everyone wishes me good morning. I don’t text back. If I did, then I know I’d do it the whole day. Got rid of my sneakers and jumped in my bed, hugged my bears. My teddy bears. Aw, I feel better. Much much better. After shower I venture in the kitchen. I heard someone say “STOP”. I stopped. Looked around. That’s how mom used to shout whenever I tried to enter the kitchen and she always told me not to do weird stuff around in the kitchen. Experiments are not supposed to be done here, she shoos me off. I cooked something that I always am better at, Pasta. I poured orange juice in one of my favorite and sentimental tumbler glasses. I turned the music on. LOUDER. I read the news, I grabbed a bite of pasta, supped on juice while James blunt sings louder for me this morning. You’re beautiful.

10:00 am – Burp. Enormous breakfast. Burp. The door bell jangles. I run to see who it is. I open the door slowly. My maid stands with a basket in her hand. She is a sweet lady. She’s been working for us since 10 years, she never changed. I don’t want her to either. I offer her less work today. She does the dishes, mops the floor and the rest of the day is a holiday for her. Pretty cheerful she looks. I managed to speak with her while she was working. I’m good at disturbing people when they’re busy. I wanted to know about how she runs her family by earning 5k per month. And also she has a beautiful grand-daughter who is, I think seven months old now. We spoke about her.

11:00 am – I sit down to write some of my thoughts. I scribble on the white sheets, tear it, make crumble balls and throw it on the floor. I write till my fingers hurt. I’ve finally managed to write some of the very close to my heart thoughts. Folded the sheets neatly and hid it in my Bible. I won’t be surprised much if mom reads it.

12:00 pm – I don’t like watching teevee so much. The normal health and food channels entertain me the best. The rest don’t keep me pleasantly occupied in anyway. But I decided to kill time for the day, see? So, I sat with a bowl of potato chips, held the remote in my hand like as though I’ve achieved some sort of a memento for breaking a record. Reminded me of the way danny and I fought, more worse than the wrestlers in WWE ring, for the remote (when we were kids). I always won. I knew how to CRY like a baby. I flipped channels. I almost successfully killed 45 minutes doing that. Nothing was straightly interesting with the teevee. And news? It wears me down.

12:45 pm – New text received. My phone kept vibrating the whole time I never realized. I replied to a few friends who were curious to know if I was alive and awake. I managed to hug my bears again. I rang up mom, to know what they were all up to. Having fun? I asked her lazily. Then added “without me”? She told me I was lucky to be under the roof, and told me she doesn’t like the sun.

1:15 pm – Door bell jangles again. I slid my phone shut and ran to see who it was. The courier guy asks me so many unwanted questions and later realizes he was at the wrong door. I shout at him “Thanks for the inconvenience” a lil louder than usual. He walked off feeling self-conscious and red-faced. He should be. I hate opening the door so many times, being curios like a curious investigator to know who’s dropping by.

1:30 pm – I’m back to my playlist. Volume was a lil under control now. The fray sings how to save a life. I sing along especially these lines “Hoowwww to saivveee a liffee..” louder than what was playing in the background. I dial a number of a restaurant I know that makes yummy food here (sometimes) and ordered Chinese. And Coke please. I can’t survive without coke.

2:30 pm – I take a nap. Wake up at 3:30 when my phone kept singing “You’re my honey bun, sugar plum, pumpi-umpi-umkin”… I wake up answering the phone. To my annoyance it was an advertising call from Vodafone. I disconnected. The phone buzzed immediately. My bestie calls me to tell me about the new hot stuff happening in her life. She’s happy. I’m happy for her too. We giggled, talked a ton of crap, giggled, complained, and giggled. It went on and on.

4:00 pm – I went downstairs to check if I’ve got any letters. No letters in the mail. I ran upstairs after a small conversation with another neighbor who wanted to learn about my future plans. People of my apartment bore me. They like to know what I will be in the future. Not what I am right now? Jobless. Unfair.

4:30 – I read stuff online. Facebook updates. Notifications. My god. What an addiction.

5:00 – Unexpected plan pops up with friends. And I get ready. All girly. With colorful bands in my head and wrists. I meet my friends. Talk. Laugh. Giggle. Eat. Talk talk talk.

8:00 pm – Back home. I play the music too low this time. I feel my eyes too heavy. I doze off.

9:00 pm – Mom has the spare keys. They’re back. I could hear the loud voices around. I woke up and thought I’m back with the lovable crowd. I wake up and managed to sit on the arm chair drowsily near my PC, rubbing my eyes and trying hard to look at what song was playing from the playlist, as the volume was too low. Mom sits on my bed to hear my stories; I tell her the boring stuff I did the entire day also told about the tiny fun with friends in the evening.

She held a white paper with something written on it, in her hand and asked “You forgot about this?”…

I looked at the list of to do things mom handed over to me while I was busy blowing kisses at them waving bye in the morning. In the back of my mind I say “Oh shucks”. I make multi-innocent faces at mom. I punch the volume LOUD to avoid mom’s tiny-cute-avoidable-lecture.

If I were a boy (by beyonce) plays in the background.

Mom makes a face. I know what she meant by that. She meant “You lazy lil brat”. She adds another to do list to it and gives it to me. I’m punished I thought *Burying my head in hands*

Summer 2010

2010-03-08T17:38:00.008+05:30

When I was a kid, I always bounced with joy when I knew it’s gonna be SUMMER. I genuinely loved summer because it’s everyone’s vacation time. Everybody in this world would get holidays for two months (that’s what I would think). And everybody here includes the employees, the old, the rich, the poor and also my Granma’s pet. The other day I found a rack of old photo albums, which were all lined up neatly in the last row of a book shelf in my house. I tried to grab as many albums I could, there were so many that I almost had a notion about being on the ground, flat, with the albums on top of me. I relaxed, picked out the album in pink, then pulled out the rest of the albums one by one. I hate doing that. I mean working so patiently. I’d rather be on the ground than do the picking one by one business and pulled out a few at a time. I saw the pictures. Laughed. Smiled. Surprised. Wondered. Loved. Kissed. I felt like my body was present with the albums, but the pictures genuinely took me back to those days. The scenes were running at the back of my mind. I felt refreshed. I felt nice and awesome.

Mom interrupts and I’m back again in the weird present world. I look at mom, trying to still focus on the flashback that started to fade a few seconds ago, she leaves a bowl of strawberries, I look at the pictures and she joins me viewing them too. Mom gave me a sweetest smile and a confused look when I asked her “So we’re going back to those days together, mm-hmm.”

Summer 13 years ago

Mom used to pack all our clothes to send us to my Grandma’s house for every summer and would bid bye-bye enjoy summer and kisses along with it. She promised she will join us too, when dad is free. I never stayed without mom anywhere else. I grow more melancholy every hour without her. Granddad always waited for us near the huge gate of their house to welcome us home. And often would shoo rosy away from us. Rosy, was my granma’s pet (a Pomeranian), it always bowled me down. That’s the way a pet often gives you a special hug, innit? Grandma’s house was huge, she loved pets and my granddad loved TV. They were quite old. But always would entertain us with jokes and games. Sweet couple I’d never forget. I still remember those days when we cousins ate together in one plate. Fighting with pillows. Sitting under the stars on the terrace listening to ghost stories. Hugging granddad tight while sleeping. Eating mangoes. Playing with rosy in the evenings in the huge lawn. We would watch Tom and Jerry and roll on the floor laughing our asses off for no reason. But we just laughed because it was supposed to be funny. That’s what my older cousins did. So, we lil one’s did the same. Then later my mom’s bro was blessed with a daughter and a new cousin in the family. Summer again was fun with the new baby at home. I loved babying her. She was the prettiest of us all. She had rosy cheeks. Each time we fought for food in one plate, she would join us too. And we cousins end up feeding her first. I always wished to live with my cousins and grandparents forever and not just in summer. But things certainly change.

I looked at mom, and the pictures, then looked up at her again, and then looked away. Sigh. I miss those days I uttered weak in tone. She replied – I miss my summer days too.

Summer 2010

After granddad passed away, rosy left us too. Grandma left the house and started to live with her son. Things change so drastically. I never thought those days would end. I wish I had the chance to freeze something. I would freeze those summer days and would live them all my life. Summer now is quite different. It’s not the best as those days but it definitely is not the worst. Now for every summer my aunts and uncles manage to send their kids to my house. Most of them below thirteen, not of my age, but yeah we still enjoy the summer heat together. It’s the same, we eat mangoes, we eat together in one plate, we sit under the stars, bro and I scare them with ghost stories, laughs, jokes, love and everything is just the same. The difference is granddad and rosy are not with us and also Granma’s huge house. I love summer, because my cousins make it bright for me. They add life to it.

I shoved those albums back in the rack and bounced shouting, YAY it’s summer again.

PS: Enjoy the sweaty days. Happy summer 2010.

One smile at the stranger...and the story you hear next

2010-02-19T18:53:00.018+05:30

One evening I was lazing around after a very tiring day. I found two messages in my phone, from the librarian who was asking me if I could return the books I’d kept with me for 3 weeks. I typed a message to him “How long are you open, I’m lazy, can you come and collect the books?”… I backspaced everything and started to type “Hey, I was just gonna return them. What a coincidence?” I backspaced all that I typed and started to type a fresh one. I wasted a bunch of time doing that. Although in the end I didn’t text him anything. I thought it was a good idea to return the books I been reading since three weeks and stop being the worlds worst procrastinator. I also imagined how the librarian would give me those looks when I go there. He usually never smiles. Maybe he never smiled ever in his whole life? Or maybe he's a gay? :| When I say “Hi, any new books?” he looks at me says “Hi” with a straight face. Oh okay serious boy, continue that. I’ll show my straight face too. I reached the library and looked at him with a straight face, placed the books on the desk and he asked me the code. My library card has this damn code I’ll have to tell him each time I return the books, he took the books and I paid him off the (whatever) amount I had to. He thanked me and I took a tour inside the library to check out for something very interesting. He then called out my name, and apologized for texting me about returning the books. I said, Oh no it’s fine. My fault I kept them for too long. He said “That wasn’t long”, but I had customers who were waiting for the books and I had no extra books, I’ll give them to you next week if you want them. I was just nodding my head in disbelief that I saw him smile at me while talking. Finally he smiled, I thought smilingly. And I walked out with a book called BPO sutra (Dont judge me, its a nice book), bidding bye to him.

The librarian was looking at me while I walked out, that’s what I felt. Oh boy! Don’t give that stare I mumbled. I walked as fast as I could and when I reached my bike I placed the books on the seat and started to dig in my pockets for the keys, and I smiled at a stranger who was walking right next to my bike. He was pretty old, looked like a granddad of 15 grandchildren or more. His grey thick moustache, his cargo shorts, his cap, his Reebok Tee gave me a picture of a retired army officer. He was holding a bag of veggies. He stopped when I shot the smile. I stopped digging for the keys too. I sort of had all weird thoughts before he began talking to me. He looked at me like as if I was one of his grandkids, and said:

Stranger- Hey! Let me ask you a question!

Me – okay? *blank*

Stranger – which side do you think is the handle fixed on a coffee cup?

Me – Err, *making actions with my hand like as if I held the cup with my hand and said* RIGHT.

Stranger - *looks at me weirdly*

Me- Oh no it’s on the *tries to make actions again, this time with the left hand and said* LEFT.

Stranger- *raises one eyebrow*

Me – Oh wait no, it depends on how you hold it though? Obviously. *straight face*

Stranger – Okay? You tell me with which hand do you hold the cup usually?

Me – Right (sometimes with both the hands)

Stranger – I hold it with left, but that doesn’t give a proper answer. *shrugs*

Me- Okay I give up, what’s the answer? *curiosity was eating me up, while I already started biting nails*

Stranger- well, the handle is obviously fixed OUTSIDE the cup.

Me- Ha Ha Ha :|

Stranger- what ha ha? Ask me why?

Me- Why?

Stranger- because when the coffee is inside the cup, how can the handle be inside the cup too? *Laughs loudly, bids a bye and walks off*

Me- :| :| :| *laughs, cries, laughs, cries, straight face* Not funny sir.

I looked around before I started my bike to see if anyone around heard that oh-so-very-funny-joke too? The librarian was standing at the counter laughed and signaled that the stranger was a retard! But wait, I saw my librarian smile and laugh for the first time! Feels nice when someone really wears a smile I thought. And I rode back home.

I spotted the stranger again, the very next day, talking to a very HOT girl about something. What a ~~retard~~ funny man! Don’t know what story he told her too. But he seems like a good entertainer!

He's just not that into you......

2010-02-09T20:27:00.011+05:30

I’ve read this book two months ago “He's just not that into you” by Greg and Liz. The book is beautiful; it has no story line but it introduced the concept of responding to the letters written by several women relating to how confused they are about the guy they’re dating with. Greg had given a lot of solutions to these confused women. I enjoyed reading the letters people had written to him, and wondered what I would suggest to the lady who’d written it, if I were to be Greg. There were so many good points that were covered in the book. I recommend every lady to go forth and read that book, in case you’re dating the wrong guy, or your relationship is not running smooth like before. But, after reading the book I was so much inspired to write about some of the points about how relationships start and how they end, and how strong a girl has to be in handling such situations and also realize that the guy she’s dating with is “not just that into her”.

FRIENDS

Every relationship starts with friendship. You hang out together; you see each other like a lot. You talk to him over the phone for a hundred days now. Then maybe you think he’s the “Guy” for you, who fits best as the prince of your life. The guy also gives you too many compliments for you to digest, takes care of you like your mom does, and likes you the most out of all the other girls in the group. Then you keep waiting for him to ask you out. This rolls around somewhat early if you indicate the same likeness he shows towards you. He asks you out, and then you say yes.

(Sometimes the guy, who you think likes you the most, won’t ask you out. This is because he doesn’t like you the way you like him. Or in simple words he’s just not that into you, go see around if someone fits to be your hero and not waste your time on a person who can never ask you out.)

FIRST FANTASTIC YEAR

The first fantastic year of your love life is as smooth as a strawberry smoothie. You just gulp down the whole thing because it’s too yummy, yea? And sit with an empty can. You talk over the phone all night till your ears hurt. Listen to love songs and just day dream about your hero. You talk about him all day with your friends. You’re totally in love. You buy him gifts and greeting cards. You start writing poetry. You get this feeling that you will die without him and everything around including your family members is just a blur. All you see is your guy, who is not really sitting on a horse. He meets you every day, spends huge time with you, spends all his money over your clothes, takes you to every place you love visiting, holds hands, looks into your eyes, and says the most amazing words that you’ve ever heard. Just like a smoothie.

COMMITMENTS

Too many commitments like, I will die without you, and I cannot live without you blah blah blah are most widely known in every relationship. But how many of these known commitments are true? None of us have the answer. Maybe 10% out of the 100 keep up these promises they make but not all. And those 10% are the successful relationships. The rest are just failures. Before committing to someone just think once about how much you really mean those words.

(After the smoothie story it’s time for me to mention the most confusing points that arise in a relationship)

WHERE ARE YOU?

Some of you don’t inform your parents about your plans but would definitely tell your guy every bit of information such as where you are and with who you are, true? Read the conversation below

The girl gets a phone call from her guy:

Girl – Holy cow! Answers the phone – Hi baby I was trying to call you what’s up?

Boy – Nothing much, what you doing? Hears the background honks and laughs and yells on the road. And question changes. Where are you?

Girl – I’m out with a friend. I tried to call you but you didn’t answer the phone honey.

Boy – Hmm which friend?

Girl – my college friend sweetheart, remember I told you about sheetal?

Boy – Silence

Girl – Hello? Sweety? Say something.

Boy – silence

Girl - Tries to be stupid by giving explanations – sorry honey I tried to inform you about my plan but didn’t work out. I’ll be backing home soon and will give you a call so that we can talk lots!

Boy – Kay, have FUN.

Girl- Fun? Baby no fun without you.

Boy – disconnects.

(No one should have a problem with you hanging out with your friends. Do what makes you happy! And most importantly don’t let anyone take control over your life. In simple words if your guy is not happy with you meeting your friends then note he’s just not that into you and if you talk about informing him, you at least tried so not your fault.)

PLANS

You make plans to meet your guy, but he makes some other plans already.

Boy – hi my choco pie mwah

Girl – Hey shweetooo what you doing? Had lunch? I missed you so much.

Boy – Yeah I had my lunch. Never bothers to ask her if she had her lunch wah.

Girl – hmm what plans for the evening?

Boy – No plans... umm not sure though. Why? Doesn’t tell he had plans made with his friends already.

Girl – Lets meet this evening, what say?

Boy – Umm… I guess… Girl interrupts.

Girl- Okay done then I’ll see you at 5 pm at the same place.

Boy – tries to tell her about his plan – sweety actually... umm... will call you in a while…

Girl – kay lets meet at 5 at least say something about it?

Boy – I won’t be able to meet you...

Girl – why? Starts crying

Boy – Oh I guess I have plans to meet my friends I forgot about it.

Girl – fine.. enjoy…

Boy – doesn’t even realize the girl is crying!

Girl – what more?

Boy – Chalo I gotta get ready now. Will talk later!

Girl – Silence

Boy – Bye love you. *click*

(This happens most of the time, it’s not the guys fault either but he should have been clear at the first place when the girl asked him if he had any plans. If a guy is not SURE to tell you about his plans, then how SURE is he to marry you?)

I AM BUSY

And now you’re guy won’t have so much of time to spend with you. He starts making excuses “I’m busy”, “I have a meeting, sweety”, “I’m too tired”, “I want time for myself”. And so you start having mini-fights over these issues every day and every hour. You keep getting thoughts like “Is he talking to someone else over the phone?” “Is he dating someone else?” “Is he just making excuses?” And that’s when the relations start skating on thin ice. And maybe some of you like taking those excuses, which is brilliant.

AFTER A FIGHT

Your guy never calls you after a fight? What do you do? Consider yourself a down-to-earth-and-not-so-ego-maniac-person? And you end up making a call to your guy even if the fight was wholly started by him, nice. But wake up, how long are you going to do that? Even if you do this now, the credit is always taken away by him. Stop letting someone take you for granted. Wake up and be a princess because you don’t have to run around someone who’s just not that into you.

DISAPPEARS

One day after a fight your guy disappears and would never contact you. You try to contact him, and get back to him but things don’t work out. If someone disappears like that it’s not about their ego, you need to know that you’re dumped. And remember if someone disappears without letting you know anything then he’s just not that into you. You deserve the best.

There are just 10% of guys who LOVE their girls without any conditions (I know a few). I think everyone of us be it a girl or a boy should start loving without conditions, there wouldn’t be so many breakups at all in any relationship and lives would be super!

PS: Don’t let anyone take you for granted.

PPS: Guys please don't judge me.

Stranger in a Dream...

2010-02-03T20:58:00.009+05:30

I was sitting with my legs crossed, leaning against the soft cushions that are covered with velvet and a furry cloth. I held a book in my hand trying to puzzle out whether it was the right time to read or not. I made up my mind not to read and dropped the book down on the round table at the coffee shop, and I catch a glimpse of you entering, dressed in a dark chocolate colored formal shirt and a good fitted trousers, with the spikes in your hair lacking order and your eyes sleepy, and the neck-tie almost loosen like as if it has lost the bond of the knot. I wrap my hands around the mug and began to sip the mocha I ordered 10 minutes before you entered. My eyes focused on the cup, all though I could see you occupying the table opposite to mine. You started apologizing to someone sitting at your table, who, I hope is not your girlfriend. I looked at you several times and you never looked at me.Your smile is one of the wonderful things that God has securely placed on your face. Even though I know you appeared to be really tired and sleepy you looked ridiculously fresh when you smiled. Like, as if all the things around you, including me, are candles and each time you smile, we are all lit bright. I saw someone snapping fingers in front of my face, asking if I was alive. Oh, I forgot that I had my friend sitting right here talking persistently about some really unimportant issues and I forgot to respond to her. You are so distracting.

I was stuck in a terrible traffic, with my hair all haphazard. I was tying my hair up at the signal and looked to my right with my mouth wide opened like as though I witnessed an explosion, you were right next to me in a car, sleeping like a baby with your mouth slightly opened facing the window of the passenger seat. I wondered if you needed fresh air or pollution. Or do you feel car A/C creepy-crawls you, like I feel? Your car was gone by the time I recovered from all the questions I had in my mind, and I get to hear various kinds of ‘BLEEPS’ from the fellow riders, because I was blocking their way.

I was at the birthday party, a not so cool party ever. I look around for some good company other than sibling Company. I was left with zero options to move out, so I sank in that ancient wooden sofa’s looking at my dad, while he talks some oh-so-very-important points about the birthday boy which reminded me of orkut (social network) testionials. Hello God help. I later heard someone announced a special number, by some name don’t know who that was, but honestly when I heard about solo singing performance it made me yawn a 1000 times/sec. I decided to text my friends, keeping the phone between my legs so that the old ladies behind me don’t start grumbling. I hear the guitar was strummed chord “C” and a very familiar song was sung by someone. I text bye-bye to my friends and looked up at the person who, is actually singing my favorite song. It’s YOU again? I couldn’t recover from the shock that you were strumming chords, singing my favorite song at a 2 year olds birthday party, who was already fast asleep before you even started the song. Huh? Really? After the dinner my dad stands and talks to your family, while you smile at him respectfully and that’s when he looks around to introduce us (his family) to yours. You look at me as I walked up to you with my mom, and signaled me about the coffee shop if I’m not wrong. What the cow? You saw me too? I blinked once…twice…thrice…while I still managed to smile.

At the background I hear – where the hell are my keys! Wake up you moron and gimme the keys, I'm late for work already, yelled my sister. I woke up, gave her the keys, back in bed and I woke up, checked the time and realized that the dream was not gonna continue. All I did was ……. AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHH!!!

“The stranger in my dream was someone I know, but that stranger doesn't even know I exist.”

Did you ever dream of someone whom you saw just like twice or thrice in your dreams and that person doesn't even know you exist?! Do share.

The Army Tanks

2010-01-29T18:07:00.010+05:30

(Apologies for my long absence)

It’s been almost a month now since I’ve posted something here, I totally missed filling this space with my random thoughts and the reason behind it is the kick start of 2010! The letter to 2009 without much doubt had given 2010 a lil torture. To be precise 2010 has kept me real busy and I enjoyed these 29 days of this year to the fullest! But for today let me talk about the Army tanks.

I was never held an intense interest to learn about the whole army thing ever in life. All I knew about army people were that they were tall, sacrificial, punctual, short hair and sometimes no hair at all, some of them with turbans (Punjabis) and so on. One afternoon my bro (Danny if you’re new to this blog) had told me that there was an army air show going on in the city, and I wanted to attend because I get to take loads of pictures plus it would be fun, that was my idea on the nose. We fled to the place and we realized that there was no air show! We get the information from a few army guys there that the air show will be held some other day soon and we were not really disappointed because we had an option to come back anyway. But we met a colonel that evening who, walked up to us and asked us about how we got the AIR SHOW information, and he let us inside the grounds and asked us to go around and have a look at the army tanks. That was really nice of him to let us in. I really enjoyed learning about the army tanks even though some of the information went above my head. The best part of that afternoon was that I was allowed to go inside one of the amphibious armors, where I had to creep in till the driver’s seat. That amphibious armor was used for sea wars and creeping till the driver’s seat had got me bruised my arms; whoa these army guys are no wonder tough!

I’ve decided to put up some of the pictures I managed to click that day.

Tank T90 used for tank vs tank battle ...

Tank T 72 used for tank vs tank battle

ARV WZT 3 - This one weighs 42 tons

The chopper costs 5.6 crores (Its not for use now)

I know don't swear at me because I've added really less pictures for the post. I'll come back with another post sharing some more pictures of the air show I've attended.

Good bye letter to 2009

2009-12-30T22:30:00.004+05:30

Loving 2009,

It’s not really a nice thing to call you ‘LOVING’ because for the most part you’ve been shitty to the hilt. Accept it. But still I realized it’s not positively nice of me to be discourteous to you because it’s not your fault, it’s already my story that I’m living. And also I’m sorry that I’ve hated you all these days, I should more readily be thankful to you for spoon feeding me some of the amazing lessons. In 21 years of my life, only in 2009 I have experienced some bad thing or the other at the end of every month, which is sad. However at the end I feel like, all the bad things that happened are also coming to an end because 2009 you’ve taught me how to be through such kind of ugly situations. In the coming year I look forward to nothing so ugly to happen, even if it does, I’m ready. 2009, I hated you for departing some of the wonderful things from me, for taking some of the lovelies of my life, for setting boundaries to my smiles, for killing the happiness, for making me trust on people who are not worth it, and also for making me the laziest brat ever but today I say to you that it won’t be the same again. You will never come back again in my life, because today is the end of you, and a beginning of a brighter thing – 2010. A lot of unexpected relationships have been created this year, some of them have already broken but some of them are going to sit tight with me forever, so I thank you for those days. I made up my mind to make use of every single day of 2010, there’s gonna be a freaking change in my life, and it’s gonna be way awesome. You hear that? Be nice wherever you ended don’t come back and haunt me with those nasty things okay? Just remain in my diary like the loving-shitty-09, but don’t you ever dream of coming back to me because there is no place in my life for dimness. I still love you, for being 20% nice; you get an award for that. I’m hoping you’re reading this very important letter I’m writing to you. I won’t see you again. Thanks mega-loads.

And dear 2010, better be nice because I don’t wanna write a short letter to you, if you’re nice I will write a long one okay? ;-) okay!!

Love

Esther

Ps: Wishing all of you a bright 2010, may all your resolutions be followed, and keep smiling because that’s what makes you a perfect thing in this whole world.

On my Birthday

2009-12-26T18:57:00.004+05:30

[Sorry for the long absence]

On November 23^rd a friend of mine, who saw me at a store shouted out with glee saying “countdown begins for the big day”. I kept mum because I didn’t care the least bit about which big day he mentioned indirectly until I checked my phone for the date. I realized he was dropping a hint about my birthday, and I was zero happy about it. Since then I found all the other not-so close friends ask me about where the party is held, what I would buy for my birthday, how many are invited etc. I wondered! The whole year was a big mess and was more or the less like a bullshit for me. I don’t know the exact reason about my whole year being one of the shittiest things ever, but I was not so excited and happy about my birthday or the celebrations. Every year my birthday is celebrated with family and friends. I spend huge time on cutting cakes that are sent to me by most of my family members. I used to go out and make sure to pick one of the best outfits for my birthday and spend good expense on those outfits, take friends out for lunch etc.

But this time the thought of birthday and shopping made me feel a little low than usual. I felt like jumping to 2010 without living the whole month of December. But nothing works the way I want it to especially when it comes to dreaming or desiring. I felt ridiculous that I was being so lame and I decided no matter how bad this year was to me, let me do something that would really make me happy and make me be a blessing to others. Trust me the moment I started to push the negative shit aside and started to think positive, my new year began. I told my dad not to announce anywhere that I am celebrating my birthday this year and asked him not to make plans for any big celebrations. I told him I’m not buying those expensive outfits this time, and requested him to give that money to me (in hand that is). He asked me “why I needed the money and not those expensive outfits I buy for my birthday every year”. I told him I’ll contribute it to the needy.

I’ve been waiting for a new beginning all this while and I realized that every good thing you think about and every good thing you do, is a beginning of a great thing. I’ve turned 22 on December 23^rd and I celebrated my birthday with some of the cutest kids of this planet. These kids taught me the value of life, most of the time we keep thinking about the things we lack, and never realize about the best we have. These kids live in an orphanage, and they know that they have no parents but just guardians. Yet they smile at the problems and the facts they face. When they sang happy birthday song to me I felt like stopping the time and freezing the day so that it never ends. I had one of the best birthdays ever, because I know those expensive outfits don’t smile at me, but the goodies I gave the little ones will sure make them smile. I’ve contributed thousands of rupees at the orphanage so that the guardian buys whatever is needed for them and I also have bought those lil kids cute Santa hats and smiley badges and other cute goodies. And I’m sure my birthday was a happy day for them. Now, that’s what is making me the happiest soul on this earth.

I’m sharing some of the pictures I clicked on my birthday.

Life, I shake my fist at you.

P.S: Merry Christmas and a very Happy New year

The Pearl Necklace of Life

2009-12-14T19:07:00.006+05:30

Is anyone of you feeling too low about losing a very important part of your life? Anyone here is missing someone who you really loved and he/she is not with you right now? You need to know, I felt the same once upon a time, until my cousin had shared with me one of the cutest stories I’ve ever heard. That story has been so touching and played a very important role as a boost of confidence in my life. I know most of us go through this rough-phase once, twice, thrice and sometimes like a lot in life. But we all need this story that keeps us going. Which is also helping me to move-forth and on. I’m sharing it with all of you, who are skating on unhappiness. Just remember “Losing someone shouldn’t stop your life”. Here’s the story –

There was a 7 year old girl named Sheba, who lived with her parents in a small town. Sheba was sweet a girl with an apple cheeked face, with blue eyes and slight curls in her bronze colored hair. She one day happened to go for shopping with her mother to one of the biggest malls in the city. While her mother was busy shopping, Sheba admired everything that was in the store except for its prices. She felt like she was in heaven for a while, and kept smiling looking at the soft toys. She played with all the toys in the store. Then she found something really interesting. A pearl necklace. She told to herself not to get tempted but she was already tempted. She wanted that pearl necklace on all expenses. Sheba immediately turned to look at her mother and her mother was busy talking the store guy about the bill she had to pay. She ran her to mother and pulled her hand and pointed out at the pearl necklace. Sheba’s mother looked at it, saw the price and wasn’t amused. But she thought that this was not the age for Sheba to like such things and made up stories and told her that she couldn’t afford. Sheba was unhappy and was sad to hear that. She asked her “please mom, I love that necklace and I want to have it” and her mother couldn’t refuse but told her “I can buy this for you on a condition that 50% of your pocket money every month, will be deducted”. Sheba was ready and wasn’t bothered about her pocket money. All she knew was that she would soon own that wonderful pearl necklace she saw at the huge mall. She said “I’m okay with the condition”.

Sheba was so proud to wear the pearl necklace. She’d worn it every day, she shows it to her friends each time they came to visit her, she would stare at it for a long time, and she wore it to church every Sunday. She was totally in love with that pearl necklace she owned. And she never regretted about her pocket money being deducted. Days passed by when her dad dropped in at her room, and she shows the pearl necklace to him though it has become too old now. Her dad says “wow its awesome, can you give it to me?” Sheba was not ready to give it to him. She told her dad that she owns it and is also getting just half of her pocket money. Her dad tried to tell her he would give her double the pocket money she earned if she had given that necklace to him. Sheba didn’t like the deal. She never gave up. She was sure that no one can take that necklace from her. The next day again her dad asked Sheba to give that pearl necklace to him. Sheba gets really wild and walks away without replying. The third day her dad comes to her room and stretches forth his right arm and asks for the pearl necklace. Sheba gets really upset with how her dad was forcing her to give that pearl necklace to him. She puts the pearl necklace in the box and drops it in his hand, and looks down with a sad face, and her dad outstretches his left hand with a brand new diamond necklace which was more beautiful than the pearl necklace she owned. She was out of speech and was the happiest girl in the whole world.

I hope you understood something out of this story. This is what most of the times we face in life, the things we love always disappear in one snap. You keep crying over it, because you miss it. But most of us don’t realize that there is always something BEAUTIFUL coming up in our lives. Replace yourself with Sheba and replace Sheba’s dad with God. When you think God has taken away something from you, just believe that He’s preparing something really beautiful for you to have. Whatever you lost may come back to you as the most beautiful thing. Maybe it is not so easy to accept this fact, but trust me this story has changed my life, my thinking and my desires. It made me grow strong in faith and also I own something really beautiful right now – Happiness.

Random friend requests

2009-12-06T15:59:00.032+05:30

Friend requests from a bunch of unknown humans are at times annoying. Sometimes it is funny when some of them add a note containing baseless compliments. A few times I even giggle annoyingly when people try to be too sweet to get connected to me. Socializing is fun, making new friends is awesome. But trusting everyone is not such a good idea. This is what I feel when I get random add requests from people I barely know. Like I said, some people try to fawn on you with a “cute” note before they send you the request; it’s laughable although those requests are destined to be denied. And O yes how on earth have I missed to mention the typo and the grammatical errors they make. I’m sharing a few friend requests I’ve received in some of the networking sites which made me wonder,"Oh! why?", "Oh no! I'm rejecting you", "Oh! shut-up".

"Be my friend" add requests

Hi, Rajesh in raipur! I'm good, hope you're better?! I should either accept or send the mail ID? Makes no difference, I should be given an option to deny as well. What say?

You just sit there in the pending list I'll be back :)

Ok, now that was quite convincing. I mean, straightforwardness yeah? Who's that on your dp?

*rolls the mouse, scrolls down, denies the request*

Whats should I tells yous? I ams not ables to understands. Nice meeting you engi-near :)

Yeah right! *clicks no*

So, I keep thinking people are crazy about friends and they just send random friend requests but I guess its outside the limit. I clicked on a link on facebook the other day, well the mafia group clued me in to do that. The next day, I found dozens of add requests saying "Mafia wars".

Oh wtf, sit there in the pending list, will get back. They're still there. lol.

The interrogation part

And so some people like my name, hence "The add". Dude "naam ke kya rakha?" :D

The finishing part

It happens. I can't help being crazy at times!

Happy day

2009-11-15T21:22:00.004+05:30

Days are just perfect, just the way I want it to be. Laze around, do stuff I like, be a total couch potato, play a ton of music, go out meet friends, some giggles, some smiles, some nautanki (fun) and some shaitaani (mischief). Oh, the joys of being unemployed! How can my day be a perfect one? – When it’s unplanned. For some reason, when I plan to go out with friends, do some ridiculous stuff which makes me the happiest person, it’s always a major flop. When I don’t plan at all for tomorrow it’s always a brighter one for me. I’m sharing all that I did in one of the crazy and fabulous days of mine this week with a friend (a junior in college). I can get into all details with it, on the condition you don’t collapse from fatigue, okay? Okay.

On a frigid evening, while I was having hot coffee with a friend on a highway, another old college friend sent me a text asking me if I was free to watch a movie with her the next day. I was a bit particular about not going for the morning show because no one can wake me up from sleep in the mornings as I’m most active and alert during the nights. Trust me I wasn’t knee deep in all the madness about neither the movie nor the plan. I just thought, oh yeah just a movie. Then back home. As usual, what I hoped-for never happens. So, here I am sharing the list of crazy/fabulous stuff we did that day.

Ajab prem ki gazab kahani – yay we got the tickets, thanks to PVR always reserves tickets for cute people like us. The show started at 1:30, and we bought some snacks. Popcorn+ chicken sandwich+ coke. I cannot stomach nachos, so totally avoided it. The movie was tad overrated to be AWESOME, but it was just cute. No wonder the music was simply a WOW. I won’t type the whole story here but yes it was a fun watch. Ranbir kapoor, omg what do I say? I guess he’s in the process of stealing my heart. And kat looks sweet as always.

[After the movie]

Window shopping – we undoubtedly had no other plans, so we went window shopping. Talking, giggling, and saying wow wow for every eye catching thing. We also ended up in men’s section, exchanging our ideas with the difficulty we have in shopping for a guy. The rapid talks went on, while we also ended up in typical ladies section. Oh doesn’t suit me for some reason. I’m more okay being the tom boy than wearing Indian dresses. Well back to the topic, we were quite hungry by then and planned to head off to a place here called EAT STREET.

Wait there was a change in the plan; we wanted to go to IMAX/Prasads (a mall in hyd) to actually visit the scary house.*Rolls eyes* No it wasn’t really my plan she planned it, I really was scared with the thought of going to the scary house. Although on our way to the scary house I asked her if she was sure of going there. She could make out I was super uncomfortable and she withdrew the plan. We headed to the mall fetching to do something fun.

Crazy hotel – right next to the scary house we found this crazy hotel; she looked at me and asked if I’ve been there before. Hell no. And it actually looked scary too. So I was a bit hesitant to say yes let’s try it out. I wasn’t ready to explore like she was. She asked the boy at the counter, is it scary inside? The guy apparently didn’t wanna lose anyone visiting his crazy hotel, and said it’s all about earthquake. I knew he was lying! Duh? Earthquake? I was blank, before I could even say a no, she bought two tickets. And we obviously giggled and entered the hotel. It was all dark, just flipped the cell phone to see what was in. it was scary right at the entrance and I as usual, started screaming for no reason. You must ask her, I was almost in tears to go back and not go further. There was nothing inside, it was all dark and gosh it was totally crazy. We just had to find our way to the exit. Total crazy experience, while we found some ghosts trying to scare us at the exit and both of us pushed the exit door screaming, ended up making fool of ourselves, while everyone in the mall were looking at us and laughed at us too. Weird that is. So, if any of you have plans to go there, I would say “don’t waste a bunch of your time like we did”.

Mirror maze – this was right next to the crazy hotel, I’ve been there like thrice now. It’s a fun place to visit. It’s all about mirrors and you have to find your way out. The lights and the mirrors are like a total wow. I can live there because, I for some good reason love mirrors! How do people manage getting such ideas to make such fun places? I mean it’s all about you and the mirrors and those bright lights. Wow! It is all kind of amazing.

We went to the gaming section, one of my favorite spots in any mall. Nope this time we didn’t play any of those games, but we tried out our photographic skills. Posing and doing funny stuff.

Eat street – we eventually fetched up at eat street after all the hilarity at the mall. We craved to have an ice-cream. Belgium dark chocolate is something I love picking over other chocolate flavors. It’s been like a regular snack to me when I was employed. Yum!

We planned to get back home because we were already late. My friend has been one of the best in giving ideas! She had the puchka-hogging idea popped up in her mind. For all those who are wondering what puchka is? It’s pani-puri. Trust me I learnt it recently. L.O.L.

Puchkas – it actually started raining while we were enjoying the puchka bites. We got wet, but still grabbed all that we could. We also found a fellow stranger talking total crap while we were having puchkas. Not his fault, he did make us smile with his weirdness.

It was time for us to go back to our houses. But it was already late. And I, for some reason hate auto-walas, the hatred increases in the night times even more. So, I decided to drop her at her place. I’ve never been to her house, I loved her family. Her mom was one of the cutest women I’ve met. I’m loving the day totally. Yet another memorable one.

So what do you do in your free time? Drop me the details would love to know.

Chosen one

2009-11-08T20:16:00.003+05:30

I never thought I’ll post something like this. This post is for my cousins (who are my best friends more than cousins), who lost their dad unexpectedly. I was inspired to write a few lines about my uncle, though I don’t know the entire life story of his, but the testimony he carried touched me. It’s a dedication, no cries, no sorrows, only smiles with a hope that he’s watching over us.

A person who was tall and handsome

A person of wisdom

A person who couldn’t tolerate it, if anyone cold-shouldered his brothers (all 6 of them)

A person who won all battles for his family,

A person who filled the gap of the head of the family, when he lost his dad,

A person who loved his wife unconditionally

A person who stood with his wife like a pillar of support

A person who loved kids

A person who loved his two cute daughters

A person who was the cutest father

A person who helped the poor

A person who was rich with no pride

A person who was active to help

A person who was courageous

A person who was ready to give up everything to see his wife/family smile

A person who took care of his wife in every situation she was in

A person who was fun loving

A person who could make his daughters smile

A person who never wanted to see them cry

A person who didn’t want to see his wife ill

A person who made sure to be with her throughout her bad times

A person who ignored his pain

A person who was selfless

A person who didn’t want to see anyone suffer

A person who was concerned about his children’s marriages

A person who loved his family more than himself

A person who didn’t care much about his health, like how he cared for his wife

A person who lost his breath unexpectedly

A person who assured his wife he’ll be fine before he took his last breath

A person who now, is in heaven

She was the lucky one, to have such a faithful/committed husband, she didn’t lose hope after he died, and she knew he would come back. When she saw him in the coffin, she knelt down, touched his heart and prayed for him.

She said - He’s the chosen one.

We will miss you uncle.

[sorry friends, its not to make anyone sad but I wanted to talk about how nice he's been to us. It makes me feel better.]

Temporary happiness yet a memorable one…

2009-10-25T13:13:00.013+05:30

[I know the title might confuse you a bit until you get to the ending part of the post.]

On one of my lazy evenings my bro and his friend got home smiling and talking about something which made me watch them with an active inquisitiveness, but I thought okay, let them tell me what it is and carried on with being lazy. They were actually talking about kittens they saw at the parking lot in my apartment. I was like wow kittens! Now who doesn’t say “wow”? I wondered if I could get one and asked them with the sweetest tone ever “I want one” [with uninterrupted blinks]. Bro said he tried getting one but couldn’t as one of the kittens have scraped his skin to break loose from his hands.

I thought okay, no big deal will ask his friend to get me one. Before I could even ask, they agreed to get one for me. I was the happiest! Trust me. Owning a cat/dog/horse would make me the happiest girl. We three went down to the parking lot taking stairs instead of elevator so that we could reach there before they find a new home. I wasn’t sure about how we could actually find those kittens in that huge parking lot. I really expected some running and circus stunts, to catch one. To my surprise those kittens hid behind a huge electricity meter wall, and hid in a thin passageway behind that huge wall. There were three of them. I thought, it was easy to catch one. Later realized there was a grill to the electric meter wall and it was locked. So, it was not that easy to catch one.

Finally we started mewing so that they feel we are of their kind. Though my bros friend had this manly voice and it didn’t sound like he was mewing! I was asking him to stop scaring those cute kittens. Anyhoo, we didn’t find a way to get the kittens' attention towards us. In fact, one of the very-smart kittens decided to take a walk in the passageway, and ignore us for a while, ~~maybe it found my bros friend really boring .~~We had many ideas to bring them out of that grill which was almost covered with the spider web. Bro was at his best, he went home brought milk in a tiny bowl and tried to show those kittens that it was milk and not coke. We three were totally falling on each other peeping to see those kittens through that thin passageway. In the mean time, I pushed bro and we ended up with just 2 drops of milk in the bowl, while the rest of it fell onto the ground.

Bro – I’m not bringing milk from home.

Me – neither me.

Bro and me – * look at his friend *

Later, we again started mewing. I tried my best calling them names. Saying “come to mommy” and pointing a finger at my bros friend. We ran around from this end to the other end of the passage, hoping at least one of the kittens would sit close to the grill. Nothing worked. I got really tired and gave up and was a bit upset that I could see those kittens but could take neither of them with me. Bro and his friend thought it was time to act smart and gave up those circus stunts and asked the watchman unlock the grill gate, took up a risk, entered into that electric meter room and got one.

As soon as bro came out with a kitten in his hand I started wondering what was with his hair? It seemed grey to me, seems like a good way for the spiders to build web on his hair! Poor thing worked hard to see me smile; his friend also had almost torn his shirt with all of his stunts in catching one. It was a happy moment, while I couldn’t stop saying “aw cho chweet”. I called the kitten ginger. Okay now that name has its own flashback so let’s not get into its depth. As soon as my bro and his friend heard me call the kitten "ginger" they started calling it garlic, Gaa! My sister didn’t really bother to welcome ginger home because she was too busy with her farm on facebook gosh!

I thought everything was okay now, while dad entered home, irate for some reason, and asked me to leave it from where I brought it. I looked around and bro and his friend weren’t with me, they eventually disappear when Dad comes home. I could do nothing. It was just like a sweet dream and a bad climax. I didn’t even spend like half hour with the kitten and dad asked me to leave it. I could have made an issue out of it and could have still had ginger as my pet today but the reason I left it, was because dad said “Even this kitten has siblings, don’t separate them”. I really wasn’t sure if he didn’t want to see the kittens being separated or didn’t want a cat as a pet at home. I was getting weird thoughts like running out of the house with the kitten and try using some silly dialogues like “I won’t stay here without ginger” and blah! But wasn't ready to spoil my mood. Whatever it is, I really enjoy every bit of the adventure even today. Whenever I look back and see how bro and his friend were at their best to get the kitten for me, it makes go "Aw"! That was really cute.

So, ultimately I learnt, happiness is happiness whether temporary or permanent. And when it’s temporary it’s always a memorable one. You have a chance to speak about the best times you've had with your fellow beings, and everyone enjoys doing it, don’t you? I’m doing the same.

Few things about me and my Bro...

2009-10-14T17:26:00.006+05:30

I have a brother, two years older to me and we call him Danny. When I opened my eyes on this earth, I seriously don’t know who held me in their hands first, but mom told me Danny was the happiest brother. As I aged I learnt that there were only two guys in my life, 1) Dad 2) Danny. Danny was a rough guy according to everyone in the family and I always tried to equal him. I used to do everything he did. And sometimes got caught in most of the troublesome things and would bear up with the whacks/whams and what not by mom. I started getting used to all his habits when mom ended up telling everyone around that she had two boys and one girl (I was also a boy according to mom).

When he was 8 years old, my cousin sent a bicycle as a present to Danny and I wanted the same bicycle. I remember crying for the bicycle and ended up having a fight with him. I didn’t speak to him for an hour until he took me for a ride. I saw him ride the cycle every evening and would wait for the last round when he took me for a ride. He did throw me in a gutter once on my birthday, duh!

I always wanted to be like him. I used to wear his T shirts and act like him at home in his absence (and that’s when he used to go play cricket without taking me with him). We grew up with the rides and the fights. Once I spotted a few guys hitting Danny. I got wild-rushed home-told mom-took her to the spot, mom stood there with a huge wooden cane and started hitting all the boys black and blue when danny yelled and said “Mum we were just playing a game” and looked at me like he was gonna eat me. He punished me for that by taking all the money from my kiddy bank else he wouldn’t give me a ride.

We grew up and were in high school. We both had different bicycles. Separate rides. But still the habits of being like him never changed in me. I was a tough girl too. One day I overheard a guy say “hey she’s Danny’s sister don’t play pranks on her”. I went up to the guy and found out that my bro was a terror to some of the guys who tried to play wicked pranks on me, in school. And that’s how I figured out why most of the guys from my group used to get scared to speak to me. He has always been a support to me unknowingly. If I was in any difficult situation I knew whom to tell it to. I shared all of my secrets with him knowing the fact that he was a secret holder but he did exert pressure on me through threatening about revealing my secrets to mum if I didn’t help in introducing him to my friends.

As kids we used to fight and not speak for just a day, but things have changed as we grew up. Now we don’t speak for months if we ever fight. He’s the first to apologize let it be his fault or mine. When he bought his new bike few years ago, I was the first girl to sit on his bike. His friends told me he was the happiest that day when I sat on his bike and took the first ride. Everything that belonged to him belonged to me as well. Everything he held in his hand, was mine (because I used to cry for it). And now we have mutual friends. His friends are my friends too. We hang out together and I know he would protect me always. He’s been the sweetest and also the most annoying bro at times.

This post is totally dedicated to him as he celebrated his 24^th birthday last week. I know he won’t read this but still wishing him a great life and a cute wife (lol).