Good bye letter to 2009

Loving 2009,

It’s not really a nice thing to call you ‘LOVING’ because for the most part you’ve been shitty to the hilt. Accept it. But still I realized it’s not positively nice of me to be discourteous to you because it’s not your fault, it’s already my story that I’m living. And also I’m sorry that I’ve hated you all these days, I should more readily be thankful to you for spoon feeding me some of the amazing lessons. In 21 years of my life, only in 2009 I have experienced some bad thing or the other at the end of every month, which is sad. However at the end I feel like, all the bad things that happened are also coming to an end because 2009 you’ve taught me how to be through such kind of ugly situations. In the coming year I look forward to nothing so ugly to happen, even if it does, I’m ready. 2009, I hated you for departing some of the wonderful things from me, for taking some of the lovelies of my life, for setting boundaries to my smiles, for killing the happiness, for making me trust on people who are not worth it, and also for making me the laziest brat ever but today I say to you that it won’t be the same again. You will never come back again in my life, because today is the end of you, and a beginning of a brighter thing – 2010. A lot of unexpected relationships have been created this year, some of them have already broken but some of them are going to sit tight with me forever, so I thank you for those days. I made up my mind to make use of every single day of 2010, there’s gonna be a freaking change in my life, and it’s gonna be way awesome. You hear that? Be nice wherever you ended don’t come back and haunt me with those nasty things okay? Just remain in my diary like the loving-shitty-09, but don’t you ever dream of coming back to me because there is no place in my life for dimness. I still love you, for being 20% nice; you get an award for that. I’m hoping you’re reading this very important letter I’m writing to you. I won’t see you again. Thanks mega-loads.

And dear 2010, better be nice because I don’t wanna write a short letter to you, if you’re nice I will write a long one okay? ;-) okay!!

Love

Esther

Ps: Wishing all of you a bright 2010, may all your resolutions be followed, and keep smiling because that’s what makes you a perfect thing in this whole world.

On my Birthday

[Sorry for the long absence]

On November 23^rd a friend of mine, who saw me at a store shouted out with glee saying “countdown begins for the big day”. I kept mum because I didn’t care the least bit about which big day he mentioned indirectly until I checked my phone for the date. I realized he was dropping a hint about my birthday, and I was zero happy about it. Since then I found all the other not-so close friends ask me about where the party is held, what I would buy for my birthday, how many are invited etc. I wondered! The whole year was a big mess and was more or the less like a bullshit for me. I don’t know the exact reason about my whole year being one of the shittiest things ever, but I was not so excited and happy about my birthday or the celebrations. Every year my birthday is celebrated with family and friends. I spend huge time on cutting cakes that are sent to me by most of my family members. I used to go out and make sure to pick one of the best outfits for my birthday and spend good expense on those outfits, take friends out for lunch etc.

But this time the thought of birthday and shopping made me feel a little low than usual. I felt like jumping to 2010 without living the whole month of December. But nothing works the way I want it to especially when it comes to dreaming or desiring. I felt ridiculous that I was being so lame and I decided no matter how bad this year was to me, let me do something that would really make me happy and make me be a blessing to others. Trust me the moment I started to push the negative shit aside and started to think positive, my new year began. I told my dad not to announce anywhere that I am celebrating my birthday this year and asked him not to make plans for any big celebrations. I told him I’m not buying those expensive outfits this time, and requested him to give that money to me (in hand that is). He asked me “why I needed the money and not those expensive outfits I buy for my birthday every year”. I told him I’ll contribute it to the needy.

I’ve been waiting for a new beginning all this while and I realized that every good thing you think about and every good thing you do, is a beginning of a great thing. I’ve turned 22 on December 23^rd and I celebrated my birthday with some of the cutest kids of this planet. These kids taught me the value of life, most of the time we keep thinking about the things we lack, and never realize about the best we have. These kids live in an orphanage, and they know that they have no parents but just guardians. Yet they smile at the problems and the facts they face. When they sang happy birthday song to me I felt like stopping the time and freezing the day so that it never ends. I had one of the best birthdays ever, because I know those expensive outfits don’t smile at me, but the goodies I gave the little ones will sure make them smile. I’ve contributed thousands of rupees at the orphanage so that the guardian buys whatever is needed for them and I also have bought those lil kids cute Santa hats and smiley badges and other cute goodies. And I’m sure my birthday was a happy day for them. Now, that’s what is making me the happiest soul on this earth.

I’m sharing some of the pictures I clicked on my birthday.

Life, I shake my fist at you.

P.S: Merry Christmas and a very Happy New year

The Pearl Necklace of Life

Is anyone of you feeling too low about losing a very important part of your life? Anyone here is missing someone who you really loved and he/she is not with you right now? You need to know, I felt the same once upon a time, until my cousin had shared with me one of the cutest stories I’ve ever heard. That story has been so touching and played a very important role as a boost of confidence in my life. I know most of us go through this rough-phase once, twice, thrice and sometimes like a lot in life. But we all need this story that keeps us going. Which is also helping me to move-forth and on. I’m sharing it with all of you, who are skating on unhappiness. Just remember “Losing someone shouldn’t stop your life”. Here’s the story –

There was a 7 year old girl named Sheba, who lived with her parents in a small town. Sheba was sweet a girl with an apple cheeked face, with blue eyes and slight curls in her bronze colored hair. She one day happened to go for shopping with her mother to one of the biggest malls in the city. While her mother was busy shopping, Sheba admired everything that was in the store except for its prices. She felt like she was in heaven for a while, and kept smiling looking at the soft toys. She played with all the toys in the store. Then she found something really interesting. A pearl necklace. She told to herself not to get tempted but she was already tempted. She wanted that pearl necklace on all expenses. Sheba immediately turned to look at her mother and her mother was busy talking the store guy about the bill she had to pay. She ran her to mother and pulled her hand and pointed out at the pearl necklace. Sheba’s mother looked at it, saw the price and wasn’t amused. But she thought that this was not the age for Sheba to like such things and made up stories and told her that she couldn’t afford. Sheba was unhappy and was sad to hear that. She asked her “please mom, I love that necklace and I want to have it” and her mother couldn’t refuse but told her “I can buy this for you on a condition that 50% of your pocket money every month, will be deducted”. Sheba was ready and wasn’t bothered about her pocket money. All she knew was that she would soon own that wonderful pearl necklace she saw at the huge mall. She said “I’m okay with the condition”.

Sheba was so proud to wear the pearl necklace. She’d worn it every day, she shows it to her friends each time they came to visit her, she would stare at it for a long time, and she wore it to church every Sunday. She was totally in love with that pearl necklace she owned. And she never regretted about her pocket money being deducted. Days passed by when her dad dropped in at her room, and she shows the pearl necklace to him though it has become too old now. Her dad says “wow its awesome, can you give it to me?” Sheba was not ready to give it to him. She told her dad that she owns it and is also getting just half of her pocket money. Her dad tried to tell her he would give her double the pocket money she earned if she had given that necklace to him. Sheba didn’t like the deal. She never gave up. She was sure that no one can take that necklace from her. The next day again her dad asked Sheba to give that pearl necklace to him. Sheba gets really wild and walks away without replying. The third day her dad comes to her room and stretches forth his right arm and asks for the pearl necklace. Sheba gets really upset with how her dad was forcing her to give that pearl necklace to him. She puts the pearl necklace in the box and drops it in his hand, and looks down with a sad face, and her dad outstretches his left hand with a brand new diamond necklace which was more beautiful than the pearl necklace she owned. She was out of speech and was the happiest girl in the whole world.

I hope you understood something out of this story. This is what most of the times we face in life, the things we love always disappear in one snap. You keep crying over it, because you miss it. But most of us don’t realize that there is always something BEAUTIFUL coming up in our lives. Replace yourself with Sheba and replace Sheba’s dad with God. When you think God has taken away something from you, just believe that He’s preparing something really beautiful for you to have. Whatever you lost may come back to you as the most beautiful thing. Maybe it is not so easy to accept this fact, but trust me this story has changed my life, my thinking and my desires. It made me grow strong in faith and also I own something really beautiful right now – Happiness.

Random friend requests

Friend requests from a bunch of unknown humans are at times annoying. Sometimes it is funny when some of them add a note containing baseless compliments. A few times I even giggle annoyingly when people try to be too sweet to get connected to me. Socializing is fun, making new friends is awesome. But trusting everyone is not such a good idea. This is what I feel when I get random add requests from people I barely know. Like I said, some people try to fawn on you with a “cute” note before they send you the request; it’s laughable although those requests are destined to be denied. And O yes how on earth have I missed to mention the typo and the grammatical errors they make. I’m sharing a few friend requests I’ve received in some of the networking sites which made me wonder,"Oh! why?", "Oh no! I'm rejecting you", "Oh! shut-up".

"Be my friend" add requests

1)

Hi, Rajesh in raipur! I'm good, hope you're better?! I should either accept or send the mail ID? Makes no difference, I should be given an option to deny as well. What say?

2)

You just sit there in the pending list I'll be back :)

3)

Ok, now that was quite convincing. I mean, straightforwardness yeah? Who's that on your dp?

*rolls the mouse, scrolls down, denies the request*

4)

Whats should I tells yous? I ams not ables to understands. Nice meeting you engi-near :)

5)

Yeah right! *clicks no*

6)

So, I keep thinking people are crazy about friends and they just send random friend requests but I guess its outside the limit. I clicked on a link on facebook the other day, well the mafia group clued me in to do that. The next day, I found dozens of add requests saying "Mafia wars".

Oh wtf, sit there in the pending list, will get back. They're still there. lol.

The interrogation part

And so some people like my name, hence "The add". Dude "naam ke kya rakha?" :D

The finishing part

It happens. I can't help being crazy at times!