It’s pretty baffling when your best friend falls in love with you and you don’t feel the same and this is one of the places I hate to be in. It earnestly is a vexing problem.
It did happen a lot of times when some of my friends actually ended up having different feelings for me. I never thought something like that would happen again but it did happen and this time it’s my best friend. I meet a bunch of friends almost every day. We yak away about some of the unimportant things, especially when we girls are teamed up. And when boys are present we girls generally avoid talking about the girly stuff and carry on talking about non-sensible things and end up making fun of guys. I cannot stick in a group, I make individual friends. I’m close to only two people from the group and for the rest of them I’m like “Oh hi”, “Okay bye”. I have this friend; let’s call him ‘H’ for anonymity, a total stranger I met one time, then a Hi-Bye friend, then a Good friend, then a sweet friend, thena close friend, then my best friend. We shared the most wonderful times together like every other friend does. There were some of the good days when we used to fight for silly reasons, those jokes we always cracked and laughed even if it made zero sense to the ones in the group, being a great support to each other, birthday celebrations etc. He’s been sweet, he’s been kind, he’s been emotional, he was typically filmy, and those dialogs of his make me laugh even now. I did get wrong signals from him a few days back when he tried to be unusually over caring. I knew he was very caring about his friends but I still didn’t get the clear picture about his new drama of being over caring. I almost kept away from him for a couple of days to get things straight.
The other day when we all got together, a not-so close friend from the group let the cat out of the bag about ‘H’. It made me go blank to know about it. I just walked away not even looking at ‘H’. I was kinda, erm, maybe confused, maybe wanted to punch him in his face, maybe ask him what he’s up to. It’s not his fault I know, but final decision at the moment is the worst part to formulate in the mind. I can’t be friends with someone who has some other feelings for me. I would feel uncomfortable each time I speak to him thinking “Oh gosh he loves me”. I also can’t afford to lose such a nice friend. Everything is so blur and I can’t think of adjusting myself to this fact. A couple of friends have asked me to sort out everything and just be friends. I will sort out things but am I gonna continue this friendship? Yes or no? I really don’t know. Gaa I just need time to think over it. And at the moment I hate to be in such a situation.
I prefer having an UNDO option in life. Jeee-sus!
To some of you reading - If you’ve been in such a situation do testify about what you’ve done after knowing your best friend loves you and you don’t feel the same. And people who wanna suggest me to do what my heart says, I confess my heart says nothing at the moment.
