I'm essaying few wobbly steps like an infant to comprehend the significance of my "temper" which is getting a little out of hand lately. I'm being the "someone else" and not the absolute me. Am I undergoing some sort of an alteration? I am not capable of distinguishing the changes materializing in me off-late. There are questions which have to be considered or in all likelihood there is nobody to answer those questions? I'm asserting without sufficient information that some of the wounds and scars made me distasteful as I was drowned in many problems in life . I don't feel like to smile for everything, I'm just frowning even for a joke Which is strikingly odd. I was a different girl, the cutest one with a smile on the face even while asleep. I guess I lost the smile somewhere down the road.
I have instilled a sense of duty in me which perhaps is making me a serious person. At times some of the obligations manifest displeasure and I tend to hurt the one's who are close to me. I've been long-suffering stresses and strains in life which is making me outburst of rage. Its just a matter of a short period till I attain with effort the goals I set to myself. I am just not "OK" with the way certain things have turned out to be a complete failure. It's pretty unfair when life drops you in a situation where you completely forget to smile. But I want to remind myself - "Live while you still can". I will succeed and then will certainly smile. Till then people around me will have to recognize and respect me as the awkward "Hyper-Queen". I'll be fine, I guess.
I'm not sure how many react to the way I react to things when they are a complete failure. I guess its just freaking out!! I need time for myself to rediscover what I truly am and what I truly want?!
