When Mom says DON’T...

Some of the strikingly odd and funny experiences when mom says DON’T and I unintentionally for the most part DO it.

When I was a kid I was very particular about the things I own. I always made sure no one uses the things I use, and never let anyone sell the old books away either. This was weird. Of course even now I don’t like to share my clothes with anyone, let it be with my sis too. I remember one incident when my mom’s cousin stayed overnight with us because of the heavy rain or presumably no transport. The next day we were supposed to attend a wedding, where this so called mom’s cousin stayed overnight didn’t carry her clothes because, her stay at my place was unforeseen. Mom as usual tried her best to be stiffly ceremonious asked her to join us too, and you know after the NO(s) and CAN’T(s) the cousin agreed to join. And the only option for her was to wear mom’s clothes.

Me – Mom that’s your dress, right?

Mom- Yeah baby.

Me- *silent* Looking at “The cousin”

It always happens that we end up sitting with a few other so-called-relatives on a round table for lunch after the wedding however my bro and I always succeeded in avoiding the “OLD GANGS TWADDLING”. But somehow mom manages gluing us to our chairs. BAD!

Me – Mom that’s your dress she’s wearing, right? (Trying to whisper in her ear)

Mom- Hush! DON’T say that again.

Me- *Silent* Looking at “The cousin”

A lady unhesitatingly said to “The cousin” - You look beautiful in that dress.

The cousin – Thank you (Blushes shades of red)

Me – That’s my mom’s dress she’s wearing I said it aloud (Nodding my head vertically with the sweetest smile ever)

Lady – *Looks at me surprised*

Mom - *Looks at me angrily*

Me – *Blink Blink*

Mom – No change in her expression.

Me – I don’t like her wearing your dress :|

Mom – *Buries her head in her hands*

(Trust me she never gave out things to anyone with the fear of me saying it out loud until I grew up)

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This happens most of the time when I am busy online wasting time, essentially.

Mom – I want you to go to the grocery store.

Me- Ok! (Ignoring her completely)

Mom – Here’s the list.

Me – Ok!

Mom- When are you going?

Me- Ok!

Mom- What?

Me- What?

Mom- The list is on the desk, I have to prepare dinner.

Me- Oh! That’s nice.

Mom- It’s not going to be really nice if you don’t go, you will have to starve.

Me- Where’s the list? (Looking at my computer screen and trying to enter colon + hyphen + D at a friend online)

Mom - Right on your desk.

Me- (After reading only 4 items on the list) MOM you gotta be kidding me!

Mom- What?

Me- I don’t really think I have to carry this list with me (with heavy sarcasm)

Mom - Oh really?

Me – (wearing my shoes and searching for the keys) Oh yes!

Mom – All right. DON’T come back empty handed.

Me – *silence*

Mom – DON’T forget to bring all the four items on the list please.

Me – *silence*

As soon as I arrive at the grocery store, after some initial difficulty I realize that I don’t remember two other things on the list. All I can do is ring up home.

Mom – Hello!

Me – Hey mom

Mom – Ah!

Me – Mom, what were the 2 other things….

Mom – Hangs up

Me – on the list? (Talking to the beep)

Damn!

RING UP AGAIN

Mom – Hello!

Me – Mom, What’s-on-the-list-please-tell-me-fast-you-have-a-heart-of-a-saint-please-darling? (Making sure she listens to me completely this time)

Mom – Come home and take the list.

Me – Boo hoo :-( Okay.

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The most recent one

Mom- The tap in the wash room for cold water is not working properly so, avoid using it okay? I’m calling the plumber anyway, it should be fine.

Me- What’s the problem with the tap, mum?

Mom – (Runs around to prepare breakfast, ignores my question with intention.)

Me - Mom? (Walking behind her lazily)

Mom – Dripping tap. (Sounds unsure)

Me—oh that’s it?

Mom - Yeah, DON’T use it, okay?

Me - I heard it mom.

It’s just the dripping tap, you can fix it (The little devil on my shoulder reminded me). I’m not being a scallywag, really. Last time I fixed it I remember. I turned the tap on and nothing happened. I remember mom telling me about a dripping tap. It didn’t seem that way, trust me. GAAA! Ok, but why? I looked around, looked up and down, everything seems fine. No invitations to the plumber. I turned around to leave the wash room and there was a down pour, the shower turned on automatically. WT(bleep)? No, I didn’t want to drench there, its monsoon I can go out if I’d like to? Indeed it was a bad idea to do the plumbing fixtures. Mom came running looking up at me trying to control her laugh.

Me- it’s not funny!

Mom- Okay (still trying to control). I told you not to use it, didn’t I?

Me- Duh!

It’s always good to follow the DON’T when she says it in a nice way. LOL.

Welcome new followers

Hello Blogger Friends,

Welcome to Wearing an invisible crown. This post is just to share how happy I feel when I see a response on my posts. I’d love to Thank each one for following my blog, it sometimes makes me cautious of what to write, but more than that, it makes me smile to read your comments. Thank you guys and keep reading.

Esther

The Week and The Weekend

It is about random happenings about my week, about me just being truly unemployed, who also is basically trying to enjoy every bit of a thing. My ears have heard bad news lately but that’s okay as long as I have minimum confidence and assurance in me that I can handle it, Right?

1. 1 I have had a relaxing week. I had to run around Granma’s house a few times to meet my cousins who have come to India on a vacation for a short time. Apart from that I’ve been doing nothing of use. I’ve also been watching lotta movies with my bro. It was some considerable time together after a long break of silence and cold war. We both maintain a lotta records of cold war (I know it’s cute). Come on, we are siblings after all. My bro has become too sweet from sweet and is involving me in everything he does such as playing games and watching movies. So we are back on the same track. This matters to me! As of now I’m bored of watching too many movies at a time so, whenever he looks at me with the CD pouch in his hand, I fake a yawn. He gets it.

   2. I have been missing some of the best things lately. Especially work. I never thought that someday I would look back and miss my office. I was happy when I left it and was also happy to be unemployed. Somehow I am missing the days when I used to wait for the cab to pick me up and also the one hour journey to work. It was fun when cab arrives first at my place because I get to grab the window seat. Yeah, the co-workers for the most part are geeks because they push me in and occupy the window seat and I get sandwiched between two geeks. They basically do what they are supposed to. Mostly, I was always alert, so alert that my eyes used to move slowly from left to right and vice versa, that no one falls asleep because it’s difficult to let someone you barely know rest on your shoulder, good lord. Ok, I don’t really miss everything that happened in the cab. But the fun I had with the people in my process at work, I truly miss it. Fun? Yeah, it is, especially working with people who supported me hugely. Probably the best thing ever. I’m not really sure if I regret the decision of leaving my job but I am very sure that I miss it terribly.

   3. I have involved myself to take a walk alone in the evenings. I feel totally lost in my own world which includes no one but just me & my dreams. I’m happier with my dreams, though I know someday they’re not true but it gives me peace more than what happens in real. I dream of things that make me happy. Who on this earth would dream of sorrows? Or who on this earth would love to name themselves as Sorrow? So, in reality not everything is filled with joy. Agree? The quality time I spend walking alone dreaming of those little things that make me happy, is all I crave for at the moment. I’m really not sure if this was a lil confusing?

   
   

Week was all relaxing, coming to weekend? I was ill, sad right? No, I didn’t drench this time but still I fell ill. I didn’t eat anything out too, I guess. It was awful, especially popping those odd shaped tablets. But I guess am fine.

How are you‘ll? :)

The Lazy Me...

Have you ever come across friends or relatives who bid Bye after a long conversation making essential additions such as “Come home someday” (Genuinely or Just for the heck of it). I happened to meet a friend who said the same and I said yeah sure. She came home one fine morning and asked me to get ready and keep up my words. Oh ok? Well, I was too lazy that day because of the cloudy weather which tempted me to be of no use the entire day. I also felt like cuddling under the quilt; sleep all day with the slow old romantic songs playing in my ears and the thought of singing those songs also made me feel ridiculously lazy. I kept her waiting for a long time and could see her expression changing each time I looked at her (lazily). She almost flushed red when I brought a pile of books, magazines, photo albums etc and scattered them on the table where she sat waiting for me and said “Enjoy reading”. After an unspecified delay, I was unwillingly ready.

Honestly, I go to her place only to pamper the cute pet she owns. Dogs and cats make me happy, like a lot. Right now I don’t own either of them because of some unnecessary restrictions. It was an awesome day with zoyi. Zoyi? It’s the name of the dog. I’ve been to her place twice, once when zoyi was a pup and again now after it seemed a lil grown up. As soon as zoyi saw me it barked, which actually made me alert and my laziness vanished just for five seconds. But my eyes didn’t stop looking around for a better place to sit lazily, somewhere near the window. But zoyi was barking at me and made me wonder if I looked like a monster? I checked myself so many times. Zoyi is my hair scaring you baby dog, baby dog I mean? My friend’s family members explained zoyi being annoyed at new comers, which made me smile (lazily).

But my friend’s family members are the loveliest people I have ever met in life. They treated me like I was someone very special to them and my laziness which was following me all the way from my home passed out of sight very quickly. They were very certain that I would join them for lunch. I wasn’t hungry so was hesitant at first. I told them I wouldn’t eat anything, I looked up after two blinks from where I sat and found everyone standing and staring me in the face with blank expressions. I just had to say “OK”. And then the food was served. Pamper me, compliment me, but don’t feed me when I am not hungry, please *sob sob*. I didn’t feel out of place at all. I was more comfortable and cheerful.

Later in the evening I took zoyi for a walk, in fact people thought zoyi was taking me for a walk (he he). It was a fun-lazy-day, with oodles of pamper which flushed the negative thoughts off my mind and kept me alive with the fact that “I’m Special”.

I got back home and was back to the normal mode – lazy!

The Yahoo thing.....

Yesterday I’ve been doing nothing apart from reading blogs which has become addictive than a novel these days, am sure most of you agree to it. After reading as many blogs possible, I logged in to my yahoo to check if I have received something new. I have 200 unread messages at the moment in my inbox after deleting 1000 unread messages the other day. And I did religiously read some of the mails for the reason that I didn’t want to refuse to pay attention to some of those sent by old friends, while the rest were just ads that I had to disregard. Well, ads regarding baby-sitters. What do I have to do with such mails anyway? I didn’t find any mail which said “I Miss you a lot,” from anyone, rather found a lot of forwarded e-mails, which displays a list of 200 email addresses as soon as it’s opened and you have to scroll down and down and down to read the original message. Well, someone starts forwarding that e-mail to the bunch of readers in their list and it goes on and on and ends up laying in my inbox for many months and, I? Just delete it without reading. So, finally I’ve decided to keep my yahoo inbox neat and follow the process of deleting those silly ads for a while now.

I’ve also had the idea to check my offline messages (if any) on yahoo messenger. Honestly I’ve stopped using yahoo messenger because of the unknown people I’ve added in my list way back. I found no offline messages, besides another window pops up with a message to upgrade the yahoo thing! I didn’t realize I was appeared online to everyone, and people started pinging me – Hi, how are you? Long time no see, where have you been? Etc. I go invisible and still I get their messages – You there? What happened? Why did you logout? Etc. As soon as the traffic cleared I replied to the one’s I know and stayed invisible to the rest. Here’s a funny and a weird conversation which was just about half a minute, but made me wonder with the trick he used to know more about me:

Sandy: hiiiiii (Long hi, eh)?

Me: Hi?

Sandy: How are you?

Me: ?

Sandy: I hope u remember me, if not it’s all right!

Me: I don't. I'm sorry!

Sandy: I'm from Chandigarh, we had a chat, remember?

Me: No? (blank)

Sandy: You were an engineering student.

Me: Neh (I was a commerce student).

Sandy: Well but I know you were from Gujrat.

Me: Oh is it? (I am not from gujrat dude).

Sandy: And you're the eldest in the family.

Me: (ha, I'm the youngest) what?

Sandy: I know you're father has some.... car business.....

Me: Really?

Sandy: Yeah, see I remember everything about you!

Me: Bad memory dude, try it on someone else.

Sandy: So, how are you?

Ignore user, Report sandy as spam

(This is what basically happens, when you add people you don't know and login after so many years.)

It so much reminded me of a post I read recently about yahoo chat rooms in one of a very sweet bloggers blogposts, which made me laugh so much(you may also want to read it here). Chatting on yahoo is like to be in “CONFUSION” for a while, you won’t know whom to reply to and sometimes send messages to the wrong person, and say “Oops that wasn’t for you.” I’m estimating my yahoo ID to be 10-12 years old now, and don’t remember creating it myself. But when I was in school I didn’t know what blogging was all about? And was never aware of any social network, I only survived logging in on yahoo account and feel happy to get those stupid ads as well. And all I remember I did was to accept friend requests only if I liked the name, which is sanely insane. Well as a kid I used to do it. Now I know the t&c’s (not to accept requests if I don’t know the person). Apart from keeping my inbox neat, I have also decided to clean my yahoo messenger list.

This is it about the friends I have on my yahoo list and the weird mails I get.

Birthday Times

Well it’s actually one of my bad habits that I tend to forget Birthdays. Many of my friends swear at me for this because I’m the most excited when I think of their birthdays and totally forget to wish them when I’m intended to!

I was playing chess online today and when I play chess I get so hooked up that everything around me becomes indistinct. Immu (my cousin) had told me HI thrice and I kept saying Hi each time he did. It dismissed from my mind that it was his birthday. Ah, great yesterday I planned to buy him a basket ball and today I don’t know how it slipped my mind, damn! He stood behind me watching the game; I turned around to look at him. He was all bright, wearing new clothes and also wore a wide smile on his face. “What’s wrong?” I asked shrugging. He was still smiling. I asked him again and he said HI. (Immu and Adorina his sister stay at my place every day after school, because their parents work so hard that these two lil monkeys ain’t responsible enough. And in the evening they go back home with their mom, my darling aunt) I looked around and Immu still was standing behind, I said – “Okay now stop saying Hi or I’m gonna throw this at you, holding my phone charger.” Adorina a.k.a Ado (trying to be his older sister), started to yell at him asking him to change his clothes because the shirt he wore was supposed to be worn while cutting the cake, Oh! OHHHH, it’s your birthday you fatso why didn’t you remind me, I hugged him and punched him in his tummy (not too hard) wishing the very best birthday.

I like birthdays because I get to eat lots of cake. I’m cake obsessed! Well, I was all happy and pampered Immu for a while because he’s my darling. I’ve known him since his day one on this earth. I don’t pretty well get along with kids, though I love them unconditionally. I used to play with Immu till he grew up because we were neighbors too, after we moved to our new house many years ago, we had no time to spend together. I’m happy for this fatso who is an inch taller to me and 12 years younger, wow! I spent my evening with him playing Mario. Remembering the days I used to fight with bro to get a chance to play Mario because we had only one computer in those days. I’m still a kid if I’m surrounded by kids; I can’t get rid of those old things about me - pillow fight, dancing on the bed, bursting balloons, running around and blah! Yes, never to forget I had lots of cake and also am afraid to catch cold because I got wet in rain today, yay!

Happy birthday boy!

101 Things about me - 51 To do List

51. Avoid coming online for 3 weeks.

52. Stop spending in wasteful manner.

53. Listen to music alone one whole day without any interruption.

54. Meet 3 blogger friends in real.

55. Make someone smile everyday.

56. Take photography classes.

57. Get better at poker

58. Strong desire to visit forks someday – especially after watching twilight.

59. Compliment a stranger

60. Help someone in need.

61. Get red highlights in my hair.

62. Celebrate Birthday on a beach.

63. Keep my bed clean before sleeping.

64. Make a note of every compliment I get.

65. Spend an entire day with family – this is a must.

66. Grow my hair long.

67. Fast at least once a month.

68. Get all my favorite pictures framed.

69. Go on a vacation with friends.

70. Paint my walls deep red and black and hang my pictures!

71. I would love to visit Jerusalem before I die.

72. Take dad for morning walks.

73. Learn how to cook – I suck at it and my mom doesn’t trust me in kitchen, anyway!

74. Start playing piano.

75. Join the church choir again.

76. Take a dance class for Hip-hop.

77. Throw a huge party for my 22^nd Birthday.

78. Eat a Chocolate cake for dinner, yummy yum!

79. Spend good time with Rachel my elder sister (She’s getting married)

80. Join a band.

81. Inspire someone.

82. Get a driving license.

83. Get a library card.

84. Pay a visit to the dentist once a month.

85. Learn how to meditate.

86. Send a message to an old friend.

87.Smile and Laugh more (lacking these days).

88. Don’t shop for 2 months.

89. Buy a laptop.

90. Get a job in Google.

91. Spend good time with Granma.

92. Drink chocolate milk before going to bed.

93. Write a book based on the “Journey of My Life”.

94. Compose a love song and dedicate it to the one I will love.

95. Go to bed early

96. Visit new places every other month.

97. Drink more water every day.

98. Track my spending.

99. Write down 5 things I’m thankful of every month.

100. Don't bug people.

101. Start a new list :)