Don't look at me right now...

The only thought that runs fast around in the head when you don't want someone noticing you when you're doing something ridiculously stupid, "OH-GOSH-DON'T-LOOK-AT-ME-RIGHT-NOW". Thats an out-and-out feeling each of us go through randomly, very much when you decide to act stupid and expect no one to notice you. I been through some of the scenarios too, when I wanted to scream out loud "DO YOU HAVE TO LITERALLY LOOK AT ME WHEN I DON'T FREAKING WANT YOU TO?". Sometimes its unavoidable. But smiling at it and giving some meaning to that feeling "please don't look at me now".. "Oh shucks you already seen it".. shrugging off a never mind is the best part of it all.

The feeling "Don't look at me right now..." gushes through your mind maybe when :

Your boyfriend looks at you while your busy taking a HUGE bite of your burger.

You are noticed by your nephew while you pop a candy in your mouth and you freeze chewing it, and he ends up crying for that candy in your mouth. The worst part is you've had just one.

When you sneeze without having your hanky around your nose and your boss notices a wad of gum skating down through one of your nostrils.

When you are trying a new pair of stilettos at the store and you trip on them while walking and the sales guy notices you.

When you try kicking a stone while walking on the road with your best friend, and your leg swings in the air without touching the stone.

You raise to shake your hand with someone and that someone shakes a hand with another person not noticing your hand, you look around if someone's noticed. Yes. Someone does and again you end up with the feeling - "So you had to notice me at the wrong time huh?"

Farting out loud while laughing. You stop laughing but the one's noticed you do it, laugh out double loud. And you're buried with a feeling of "Oh shit".

Throwing a ball up high in the air and it bounces back on your head too hard.

You say hi to someone and they don't look at you, instead someone else looks at you.

So, these funny things are sure embarassing. But like I said, shrugging off a never mind and a giggle at yourself should make the scene a lil better.

I was caught during work, when I had this lil devil on my shoulder telling me that I am awesome at typing and that I didn't need to be triple spacing on a worst keyboard the company had fixed to my computer while shifting the work place to a whole new place. I realized that the keyboard was making my work even more slow and decided to run around and get a good keyboard for myself. I unplugged my keyboard, checked for computers that were not turned on, found one best keyboard and no one was working on it. I unplugged the keyboard from that computer, ran to my computer and fixed it. After fixing I ran to the other computer and fixed my keyboard. I got back to my system and realized that the CPU was making an awfully loud noise. I went down my knees to hide my face :| and tried to say sorry to it like it'd listen to me somehow. I was helpless. When I stood up, one of the seniors at work noticed me running-around! Well, I raised my hands helplessly "So, you've seen everything?". Thank God he was not one of the IT department guys. Anyway changing keyboards is not ILLEGAL if you ask me :-D

Let boys do some action for the Ad's...

When you know life is just awesome, it’s all just awesome. But for me it’s awesomely busy. Well, it happens when you are employed and you’ve got work on your head for 5 long and crazy days every week. You barely get time to do positively nothing but for sleeping-eating-working-sleeping-eating-REPEATING. O-the-craziness-of-employment. The best part is tolerating the change, meeting new people, getting to know them, learning the work, my God. Okay whatever! Was I sounding extra-professional? Excuse me then. I was rather kidding. For the most part yeah I’m sort of in a whole new world. A world I know not of, new smiles, discovering myself, hating and loving things around, trying to be sane, taking rides early mornings in the freezing windy weather, blowing air on palms to feel warm, getting too much sleep over the weekends and consuming loads of coffee [advantage of free coffee machines at work]. So, Life? Precisely is awesome!

Coming back to some randomness - I don't watch a lot of TV, not because I barely get time, but I somehow don't find it so-very interesting. I don't know how but ended up staring at the TV screen the other day when I was left with no other alternative and started to wonder about these ads. The first question that ran across my mind was, WHERE ARE ALL THE BOYS GONE?! Why is it that everywhere its a girl? Fair, pretty, amazingly dressed, colorful hairbands in head, lots of eye make-up but standing and posing for a cell phone. If you observe closely, more than the ad, the girl is highlighted in it. Which makes a total zeroed sense. Wake up marketting jerks, get some boys do some action for the ads. Here are a few weird ads, with only girls in it. I know girls are AWESOME but I don't understand, don't guys eat chocolates? Don't they drink coffee? It doesn't seem fair for boys to be ignored somehow :P Anyway take a look.





This one's a cement ad? And the girl posing for it, wowness!


Sunrise furnitures only allow girls to sit on them! =D

These ad's can certainly be weirdly boring, but I remember receiving an email recently and I moved it to trash because I wasn't concerned to read it. When I went back to the trash box to look in for something important I thought I deleted, I found this e-mail and couldn't stop feeling pathetic.

Take a look :P
So, Mallika sherawat loves playing mafia and invites me to PLAY with her and also promises me that I'd be protected by her from my enemies?! =\ Yeah right!

And btw, I don't have children yet, but I get an email that my kid had sent a permission request that needs to be accepted by me to let him/her join cartoon network?


Erm, Dear kid, wherever you are stop sending such requests to me or I'll make you do all my office work.

Love,
Mommy! =D

Hope everyone's having a best week and its end. It's December already!

He is MY Gift...

He’s always been a hero to me. He’s someone that prays for me day and night. Thinks about my life double than what I think. He gives me the smile that remains with me throughout my day everywhere I land. He brings me things that I like and throws away things that I hate. He tolerated my obstinate moods and taught me patience. He gave me the love that no one could give. He’s someone who has the right to correct me when I’m going wrong, taught me the value of life, taught me how to have faith in God and to love one another.

His helping nature always made me help others. And helping others gave me the best joy, the same joy I see in him. When I’m drowned in fear I know whom to look upon, I know he can pull me out of it. I know how much he loves me despite the fact of me being a rebel at times. Sometimes when I look back to my past life and see what it is, I see him who is always shining bright, wearing a smile, trying to always be there with me. That leaves me to think what life would have been without him.

I’m just putting down my feelings for this someone who will always remain special. He has been with me throughout my good and bad times like a friend. Even though I know I was scared to share with him much about me. We sometimes don’t find the time to talk to each other but still, he always made efforts to stay with me through the hard times I’ve been through. I still remember how he held my hands when I was broken and upset. He told me he’ll never let anything hurt me and promised to make situations right for me. He kept giving me warnings about life which I totally ignored. But now I know whatever he says is for the most part for my own good! And it’s always good to listen.

I don’t know what I would have been today without him. My dad. He’s the best gift from above.

He's celebrating a wonderful birthday on 29.10.2010, I have drafted this few months back. But I know it doesn't have to stay in my drafts anymore.

Happy Birthday Dad.

I so love this moment

Every so often a feeling of "rolling back the clock" strikes repeatedly loud in my head. Thoughts like "You COULD have done that", "You SHOULD have waited a while", "You did a stupid mistake" kept poking me everytime that I felt like the present isn't offering its best. Regret is one of the amazing elaborated concepts in life. Yes one of the amazing elaborated concepts. Don't make that face, I know the word amazing sounds real sad but then without regret life barely gets cracking. Everyday you wake up with some regret weighing down on your shoulders. I've been taking similar roads with a load of weight on my back and walk it all until I fall down. The question is how many times have I made efforts to stand strong on my feet.

The other day I was with a friend stuck in a crazy traffic, and the place we were in, had like an insane ONE way road. It was so annoying because the store we wanted to go was somewhere at the back and we have to roam around the whole place to get back to the destination. We anyway, were the looney TRUE hyderabadi's who would never love following traffic or driving rules, we took the wrong route. There was heavy traffic and people were evidently out of patience with us since we were going on the opposite side of the road. It was an awkward moment to take the wrong route, however, for a few seconds I had this thought fluctuating irregularly in my head, "OH NO WE ARE ON THE WRONG ROUTE", some other thought ran through my mind "OH DAMN THE FELLOW RIDERS ARE ON THE WRONG ROUTE".

And that's how we always live our lives, taking wrong highways and calling it RIGHT. I've heard several people say "I need a rewind button in life". Sometimes, its not all about the rewind button, its all about the "I so love this moment" button we should die for. For the past 48 hours I been feeling like "I wish I used some brains back then". But never tried to be happy with the brains that I still can use for future purposes. I so badly need the "loving the moment buzzer in my head" so that everytime I look around and try getting back to where I was, I'll be reminded "Lady you shall love this moment forever".

And oh I'm buzzed. I love this moment :-)

Trust in what you trust..

Just the other day, I was sitting on the couch thinking OMG its Saturday so soon. And today I sit and write these things and realized its Saturday again. Time is just flying by. Time's got wings baby. And I wish I had wings too, perhaps to fly backwards. Insane right? Anyway, I haven't been too lost to write something here, I had enough time, but I'm not sure where I'm putting it in.

Something terribly hurt me this week. Something I didn't expect would happen all over again. I "trust" and "believe" the ones I love so sanely that I would never allow myself to pass judgments on them. But sometimes the one you rely on may give up on you. The one you think is trustworthier may overlook the value you hand-out. Sometimes the one you know today is not the one you knew yesterday. I was being fooled around by someone I know is a very important part of my life. A good friend. A sibling. That person changed for good. Thinking way too much about the "change" that person adopted has gotten me swearing at myself for reasons that I should as a matter of fact stay thankful for. I was tad displeased with my very own nature of trusting people easily and getting too many wtf shockers in the end and sit with a tissue waiting to wipe off the watered eyes to get a clear picture of what really happened.

Life sometimes coaches us brilliant lessons yet we fail to heed. I realized it is purely necessary for each of us to be aware of all the things we learn everyday. I been lacking a lot of good lessons lately, although I'm the kinds who loves learning new things. But I always chose the easy way, ignore.But then, when I almost started to accept the fact that someone really close to me had picked their own choices of being untrustworthy, I thought to myself Hmmph so another good lesson. And the lesson is not to NOT TRUST anyone here after. But that, when you trust someone trust them WHOLLY don't really sit and cry beacause they broke it. It isn't your freaking responsibility if that someone really didn't bother to keep up the level of the trust you showed. No. It isn't. [And that doesn't mean you have to trust every tom, dick and harry :P]

Anyway, it is so damn weird to be in a situation where you know you feel like a complete fool without any complaints, without any annoying drama, without any expectations from that someone but yet the person walks out of your life happily teaching you a LOT. I definitely take a step back from peeving about the one who chose to walk out after breaking the whole trust. Because I know for sure, it wasn't my idea of being immature. I certainly know that whatever I did for that one person, believing or trusting or loving wasn't my fault.

I just gained a lil hope. Today's brightest star may not be the brightest tomorrow. Today's moon may hide behind the clouds tomorrow. But still, there's always a lil hope and you know that there are certain things that still exist and will be back for good. Just wanted you to know too, that things will change, but just for your GOOD. I'm accepting it now. And no, I'll still keep trusting the ones who I know are close to me, because I know I will be making a difference if I be me. Trust someone just like a child does that wouldn't make you any smaller. Its not gonna be your fault trusting anyone with your heart, it would be their fault for not understanding it.

Trust issues are crazy. And definitely shook me a lil more than needed. And some people are hard to be forgotten.

PS: Not complaining about that someone here but just had to let it out to look at the bright side!

On being Ridiculously Random...

Just in case you thought I was dead? Nay. Good news I'm still alive. I was sure LOST but didn't have any real thing to write about. I've had a hard attitude with myself for a while now. I was busy whining out complaints weakly about bizzare situations happening around. More like dabbling in a pool of self-pity. I've been making weighty efforts in keeping my head straightened up so that it doesn't look at the 'nightmare' sort of things that are already over. Sheesh! This is widely the problem with us [or just me], we end up worrying about those least favourable situations until they become flawless, later sit and wonder what the hell man? I been through so much shit already?! Haw? I mean, yes it is one hundred percent human.

But I believe, its better to let go off those things that have already waved an awesome good bye to you. Because some weird things come to us for a short time. More like a 24 hour thing. So, nothingness hit me hard for a while, by default. Don't think I suffered. I enjoyed it. The point is if you don't love your life, its gonna act crazily awful with you. So, just learn to love every bit of it. Okay? This might seem nothing interesting to read, but I definitely chose to empty my mind for good. And now I feel its long past time to change the subject *smiles happily than ever*

Currently :

I'm in love with the awesome weather. Cloudy. Wet. Grayish. Sometimes its got amazing shades of faded blue. I'm happy because its been quite a while since I got baked in the hot weather.

I wish for some extra stars in the sky. Or I probably wish I lived on a hilltop so that I can see the stars even more clearer without any pollution issues. Jeez. Like honestly do you still see those bright stars up in the sky these days, like we saw as kids? I say hell no. I wish to have a busy star gazing night sometime real soon.

I'm reading Right fit wrong shoe by an Indian writer Varsha Dixit. I want to write too. I mean write and publish my own books. Long way to go though. But someday I'd love to see my book(s) in the library stacks! That might sound crazy. You can laugh I won't mind. *Makes a face*

I miss my best girl friend as she chose to fly to another country for the sake of studies. Sharing one of my personal favourite pictures of us both.

Anyway, whats wrong with facebook? :-O It always gets unusual things in front of my eyes. Which in a way, is good. Gets some giggles in action. The questions were messed up :-|

AND

PS: Smiling is important.

A hug of hope...

I want to hold myself tight from those unacceptable frozen situations that seem to be taking forever to melt. I want to crawl away from the moments that only allow me to enjoy a blow. I want to paint everything around me with bright colors, because they seem black and white. I want to have more faith even when my wishes seem to be neglected. I want to slide away from the thoughts to feel a lil less crappy. I want to smile even when I know I'm feeling miserable on the inside. I want to avoid desires for tomorrow to be lucky, because I feel a strong need for this moment to be luckier. I want to be ready to be irreparable even if broken into million pieces. I want to stand up firm even if my legs get weaker. I want to be positive when negativity jabs at me hard. I want to hear something that can make my heart go glee. I want to wait without expectations. I want to keep my eyes open for the very best part of my life...

And beyond anything, all I want right now, is a HUG of HOPE!