Tuesday, February 9, 2010

He's just not that into you......


I’ve read this book two months ago “He's just not that into you” by Greg and Liz. The book is beautiful; it has no story line but it introduced the concept of responding to the letters written by several women relating to how confused they are about the guy they’re dating with. Greg had given a lot of solutions to these confused women. I enjoyed reading the letters people had written to him, and wondered what I would suggest to the lady who’d written it, if I were to be Greg. There were so many good points that were covered in the book. I recommend every lady to go forth and read that book, in case you’re dating the wrong guy, or your relationship is not running smooth like before. But, after reading the book I was so much inspired to write about some of the points about how relationships start and how they end, and how strong a girl has to be in handling such situations and also realize that the guy she’s dating with is “not just that into her”.

FRIENDS

Every relationship starts with friendship. You hang out together; you see each other like a lot. You talk to him over the phone for a hundred days now. Then maybe you think he’s the “Guy” for you, who fits best as the prince of your life. The guy also gives you too many compliments for you to digest, takes care of you like your mom does, and likes you the most out of all the other girls in the group. Then you keep waiting for him to ask you out. This rolls around somewhat early if you indicate the same likeness he shows towards you. He asks you out, and then you say yes.

(Sometimes the guy, who you think likes you the most, won’t ask you out. This is because he doesn’t like you the way you like him. Or in simple words he’s just not that into you, go see around if someone fits to be your hero and not waste your time on a person who can never ask you out.)

FIRST FANTASTIC YEAR

The first fantastic year of your love life is as smooth as a strawberry smoothie. You just gulp down the whole thing because it’s too yummy, yea? And sit with an empty can. You talk over the phone all night till your ears hurt. Listen to love songs and just day dream about your hero. You talk about him all day with your friends. You’re totally in love. You buy him gifts and greeting cards. You start writing poetry. You get this feeling that you will die without him and everything around including your family members is just a blur. All you see is your guy, who is not really sitting on a horse. He meets you every day, spends huge time with you, spends all his money over your clothes, takes you to every place you love visiting, holds hands, looks into your eyes, and says the most amazing words that you’ve ever heard. Just like a smoothie.

COMMITMENTS

Too many commitments like, I will die without you, and I cannot live without you blah blah blah are most widely known in every relationship. But how many of these known commitments are true? None of us have the answer. Maybe 10% out of the 100 keep up these promises they make but not all. And those 10% are the successful relationships. The rest are just failures. Before committing to someone just think once about how much you really mean those words.

(After the smoothie story it’s time for me to mention the most confusing points that arise in a relationship)

WHERE ARE YOU?

Some of you don’t inform your parents about your plans but would definitely tell your guy every bit of information such as where you are and with who you are, true? Read the conversation below

The girl gets a phone call from her guy:

Girl – Holy cow! Answers the phone – Hi baby I was trying to call you what’s up?

Boy – Nothing much, what you doing? Hears the background honks and laughs and yells on the road. And question changes. Where are you?

Girl – I’m out with a friend. I tried to call you but you didn’t answer the phone honey.

Boy – Hmm which friend?

Girl – my college friend sweetheart, remember I told you about sheetal?

Boy – Silence

Girl – Hello? Sweety? Say something.

Boy – silence

Girl - Tries to be stupid by giving explanations – sorry honey I tried to inform you about my plan but didn’t work out. I’ll be backing home soon and will give you a call so that we can talk lots!

Boy – Kay, have FUN.

Girl- Fun? Baby no fun without you.

Boy – disconnects.

(No one should have a problem with you hanging out with your friends. Do what makes you happy! And most importantly don’t let anyone take control over your life. In simple words if your guy is not happy with you meeting your friends then note he’s just not that into you and if you talk about informing him, you at least tried so not your fault.)

PLANS

You make plans to meet your guy, but he makes some other plans already.

Boy – hi my choco pie mwah

Girl – Hey shweetooo what you doing? Had lunch? I missed you so much.

Boy – Yeah I had my lunch. Never bothers to ask her if she had her lunch wah.

Girl – hmm what plans for the evening?

Boy – No plans... umm not sure though. Why? Doesn’t tell he had plans made with his friends already.

Girl – Lets meet this evening, what say?

Boy – Umm… I guess… Girl interrupts.

Girl- Okay done then I’ll see you at 5 pm at the same place.

Boy – tries to tell her about his plan – sweety actually... umm... will call you in a while…

Girl – kay lets meet at 5 at least say something about it?

Boy – I won’t be able to meet you...

Girl – why? Starts crying

Boy – Oh I guess I have plans to meet my friends I forgot about it.

Girl – fine.. enjoy…

Boy – doesn’t even realize the girl is crying!

Girl – what more?

Boy – Chalo I gotta get ready now. Will talk later!

Girl – Silence

Boy – Bye love you. *click*

(This happens most of the time, it’s not the guys fault either but he should have been clear at the first place when the girl asked him if he had any plans. If a guy is not SURE to tell you about his plans, then how SURE is he to marry you?)

I AM BUSY

And now you’re guy won’t have so much of time to spend with you. He starts making excuses “I’m busy”, “I have a meeting, sweety”, “I’m too tired”, “I want time for myself”. And so you start having mini-fights over these issues every day and every hour. You keep getting thoughts like “Is he talking to someone else over the phone?” “Is he dating someone else?” “Is he just making excuses?” And that’s when the relations start skating on thin ice. And maybe some of you like taking those excuses, which is brilliant.

AFTER A FIGHT

Your guy never calls you after a fight? What do you do? Consider yourself a down-to-earth-and-not-so-ego-maniac-person? And you end up making a call to your guy even if the fight was wholly started by him, nice. But wake up, how long are you going to do that? Even if you do this now, the credit is always taken away by him. Stop letting someone take you for granted. Wake up and be a princess because you don’t have to run around someone who’s just not that into you.

DISAPPEARS


One day after a fight your guy disappears and would never contact you. You try to contact him, and get back to him but things don’t work out. If someone disappears like that it’s not about their ego, you need to know that you’re dumped. And remember if someone disappears without letting you know anything then he’s just not that into you. You deserve the best.


There are just 10% of guys who LOVE their girls without any conditions (I know a few). I think everyone of us be it a girl or a boy should start loving without conditions, there wouldn’t be so many breakups at all in any relationship and lives would be super!

PS: Don’t let anyone take you for granted.

PPS: Guys please don't judge me.

21 comments:

PULKIT said...

Interesting article.
I also wish that more boys become commited by heart in life to their partners, but the same goes for the gals too at times,
Its a mean world out there... and its becomin more mean every passing day

Meow said...

I wanna read this book.. give the details.. if you have ebook pls send it across..

YES I totally agree that we shouldn't let anyone to take us for granted and that we should be a PRINCESS :D

Crazy Blogger said...

sister can u plzzzzzzzzzz use BIGGER FONT??????????

How do we know said...

wowow oww ow ow!! i sooo loved reading this post!!!

Shaunak Mukherjee said...

Oh my Gosh! for agony aunt!
What a post re Esty! Start a column here on your blog for relationship advice!

Nice set of guidelines every girl should follow. Good going! :)

Deepak said...

well, liked ur poignant and flair writting but some times it happens vice-versa !

Nice post :)

The Caped Tirader said...

very good assessment! Have you seen the movie with the same name? It was pretty good as well. Nice post :)

Anonymous said...

esty...how super true u are at that!! It happens almost always...ask the girls how they deal with it..:) Hopin the dudes get some slapstick lesson outa this one!

Freelancer said...

oh cmon!!!
this is ridiculous! maybe not to u! but yeah to me! when a guy is in love, why the heck won't he ring up his gal to charm her after a fight!??

guys aren't perfect. yet they are more practical. if they were to be emotional, then even gals wouldnt b able to comprehend the depth of their emotions

Pooja Mahimkar said...

that makes me wanna read this book now.. it does in my to buy book list

Nik said...

The title of this post should be,
"The Beautifully Hard but REAL Nutshell!"

I was thinking about writing something like this....but i just couldnt get it right. You nailed it.

This is what the reality is. I have actually been through...


Nice one really. Feel like copying it to my blog and writing THIS IS WHAT I FEEL. Read PEOPLE READ!!.. :P

Bravo. Hope to see you around on my page sometime.. :) chao.

S said...

Alt + f4 :P

Esther is on a roll :P

NesQuarX said...

Funny, though I'd disagree with one point of yours... Unconditional love is kinda an oxymoron. The only relationships I have seen working well were the ones with definite conditions, which were always clearly communicated to the other...

nil said...

Interesting,very very nicely done.
Like your blog tons!
Hope you visit,too :)

p.s-love the playlist :)

Anonymous said...

soo true..helped me think clearly....thnx... :)

Esther said...

Pulkit Yes so true... :) This world definitely needs a healing =) A healing by LOVE.

Meow There's also a movie, you could just download :) But the book is different. Its more fun reading :P especially for readers like us :) and Yeah the book is "He's just not that into you"... By greg and liz :)

Manjari Sorry ya! Had no clue the font was real tiny :) I've used bigger font for my latest post. Thanks for notifying :)

How do we know Thank you :)
Keep visiting =)

shaunak hehe thank you! YEs I guess I should start becoming a LOVE guru :P :P

Deepak yes it certainly is VICE-VERSA .. This is what happens with girls... donno whats the boys point of view about being in a relationship is :) So had just written whatever I knew :) Thanks dear.

Esther said...

The caped tider Yes I have :) And thats what inspired to me to read the book too :) And its real GOOD. And agreeable for the most part. Thank you :)

Madhu Yes they might have got it already ;-) Thanks :))

Meera Yes its so true. Unconditional love if sold in markets, I'd buy it =D But then, I know who loves me unconditionally. PARENTS. :) Do read the book you'll love it :)

FL Kya baat hai boss? This sure is not ridiculous, because some of them have experienced the load of crap, I've mentioned in this blogpost. And witnessing all of that, I decided to post. Maybe its sure boys are practical, but definitely in some matters can't understand what a girl really WANTS. And a guy in love sure calls the girl, but when a guy when angry never calls the girl..... Why is that? :)

Like I said, 90% of the boys are imperfect to handle a relationship. Maybe you are talking about the 10% :)

Pooja Its a must read :) Check it out and lemme know how you've liked it :)

Nik Copy it man :) You're free to do it =D As long as the word spreads around to the lovely ladies "He's not that into you" ;)
Sure. I'll visit your page soon. And thank you :)

Sourav Lol hehehe :) :) Kind of true..

NesQuarX Well, I agree :) And thats why I WISHED to find unconditional love :P Not that I WANT to see it around :) Although there are a few people like my mum dad who love me with NO conditions =) Thats a blessing to everyone :)

Nil Thank you so much :) Looking forward to see you around more often... and also would love to visit your blog soon :) Thanks once again.

Vampire wutever Yo \m/ m glad it gave you the clear picture :) Thanks! :)

Harini said...

I agree with everything you have written. If your guy doesnt treat you right... its simple, he isnt into you.

ani_aset said...

very well structured post esther :) i hope it helps the people to whom this has been directed...PPS was naise :P

Anonymous said...

heya esther...!!

seems lyk v r on same wavelengths when it comes to this matter...
gonna catch up with this book soon!

this is the usual stuff that keeps on going unless "we" ourselves dont get smart and giv 'ourselves' some 'thinking time', and not fall for commitments so easily....

keep writing!
p.s.: tnx for the appreciation of my blog!!
Blog on! :)

fiddie said...

hey.. goood read..loved it, every gal should read it!!..:) . i haven't read the book.. but have seen the movie.. do u have the ebook or something??