Friend – You love him so much right?
Girl – Yes. *shots a quizzical look at her friend*
Friend- Wondering how I knew what’s in your heart?
Girl - *half-smiles*… Well, who else can read it apart from you?
Friend – I am unsure if it’s all about reading, but your eyes speak, when you look at him like that.
Girl – you observe too much. *throws a book at her*
Friend - *Catches the book* … so, why don’t you just go tell him about how you feel.
Girl – how I feel?
Friend – yeah, the heart thumps faster when you see him, the music in the background, the breeze blowing in your face etc etc!
Girl – Jeez it never happened. But heart thumping faster part is agreeable. 
Friend – yeah whatever, so go tell him all of that. Like, I love you and can’t live without you stuff.
Girl – No I can’t.
Friend – You want me to help you?
Girl – No. Not that way. I mean, I don’t want him to know my feelings for him.
Friend - *gives the weirdest look* … Okay? And why on earth is that?
Girl – What would I tell him? “Hi, you know what? I committed a blunder trusting a guy when I was 17. Then fell for someone else’s words when I was 20 and eventually ended up having thick scars on my heart. Now I fell in love with you. What’s your answer? Is that what I’m supposed to tell him?
Friend – Err. Chica. You don’t have to tell him about the things happened in your past. Tell him about what you feel for him right now. And who would want to know a decade’s old story? Love is love. Go let him know before it’s too late.
Girl – So, according to you, love is being dishonest?
Friend – No, I don’t mean it like that, but you should just tell him about your feelings first, then about your past life.
Girl - *grabs the book from her (friend’s) hands, starts flipping pages* …
Friend – Okay, I won’t ask you to do anything, but answer this question.
Girl - *Question mark face*
Friend – What if you see him getting married to someone else?
Girl- Ouch. It’s gonna invite another crack to my tiny heart. But you know what? I want something like that to happen. Not the crack, I want him to be with someone more deserving and not me. I’m gonna be happy for him although there will be the lil ‘ouch’ continuing.
Friend – Go jump somewhere. Save the philosophy.
Girl – No seriously. I don't want the whole idea of being expressive eat me up, when the answer is a hell NO from him. Loving isn’t about being together, or wanting each other badly. It’s just about LOVING. It has no rules. No conditions. It’s just called love. It’s about how happy you can live for someone you love. Hoping for that boy’s happiness serves me the best moments. I desire to stay alone loving him, than being with him and someday losing him.
* * *
Silence between both while the girl talks to herself in the inside -
[That’s what I think about love no idea about other’s ideas, maybe I’m wrong but it’s okay. It's good to express but I'm not ready yet for another ache in the heart. But what matters really is to see that boy happy always.]
Friend – I like it.
Girl- Which part?
Friend – The loving logic :-)
Girl- hmm-mm *Nods head vertically*
Friend - **Hugs her tight**
…so this cute girl can’t express it to him because she thinks it’s better to not hold onto something so tight and later realize that it’s been released from the hands leaving too many scars to the heart. Sometimes heartbreaks make it such a tough thing for anyone to be expressive because the fear of losing someone always remains in their thoughts. But ultimately you’ll know the exact meaning of love and that is what the girl finally learned. She learned how to LOVE and not expect anything out of it.
Love as much as you can. And remember when you start expecting things, you’re only making way to a regretful life ahead.
We can do no great things; only small things with great love -
33 comments:
It's weird. I've been thru this phase, but the only way I can find peace with myself is by finding closure. Talking it out with the one you love is not such a bad thing if you can do it right. It doesn't have to be, "Oh you are the one for me and if I can't have you I'll die." No. It's simply expressing your emotions to that person coz even if it feels really bad then, later your heart feels lighter.
I haven't been able to muster up the courage to do what I just said though. And ended up losing my opportunity. Hope that girl realizes that :)
Shaunak
Whee thanks for the comment =) I'll have to add the PS thing now. Not a real story re!! :)
It's sometimes the BEST to be expressive, and I agree when you express it, your heart feels lighter no matter what the answer is :)
But the character in this post, lost that confidence of dealing with pain and is ready to lose the opportunity too, because of the weird things of her past :)
Of course, still, the situation's pretty real, hence my comment :D
The character's spirit got drowned by past experiences. Not a good thing to happen.
Shaunak Totally agreed with your comment :) :P Sad lil girl :( :D
hmmm..i do agree with the girls feelings.... If she is not prepared for it, she shd not go ahead unless she is sure.. :) :)
Urvashi Yeah, and that won't be painful later for her too because that was her own decision to not be prepared for it! :)
Thanks for the comment =) ♥
You know what caught my eye here? The way the girl says that love has no conditions and boundaries. It's just called Love.
This is the ultimate truth, sis. The moment we realise that it is just a pure form of feeling and that we should not expect anything in return, that's when it's true love!
Besides, if one expects anything in return like "she/he must/has to feel the same way for me" or "what if he/she doesn't love me back" per se is something most of us tend to do, it's a different form of greed. I know the word "greed" here sounds kind of rude and a bash on the face but if everyone loved everyone without any regrets and expectations, the world would've been a better place.
I've to agree with the girl's feelings here. She's harbouring true feelings for this person and if she wants to maintain the sanctity of it, it should be that way. And there's no harm in waiting :) Who knows? Maybe a miracle happens and he comes to know indirectly. ;)
A very well implicated message in this post. <3 Keep writing, hun :)
Very cute post... and yeah!!!!!! love has no conditions da :) Loved the post.. and love you too <3 :)
Whoever that gal is I don't agree with her at all. But hey that's me!
LOVE isn't love until you express it! So what if he says No. So what u r rejected! If u can't adjust to that pain, how do heck do u expct to feel what love is
Ana Yay >:D< You made my day! :) ♥ You've written a mini post yourself babes! =) And I am glad you agreed to it! =) Maybe its wrong to not express but you understood the meaning of this post, and what was being conveyed! =)
It's easy for girls to understand the feelings of a girl! Its quite obvious that sometimes all a girl can do is to expect a miracle, not an ANSWER! =)
Thanks ana for being soo adorable! ♥
Meow I love you too :) :) :)
FL Aye MR.Angry young man :-)
It's okay if you don't agree with the girl, that ultimately proves guys don't understand girls! =\ Well, here the girl is NOT ready to express its her problem na! :P BTW, love is the feeling from within, she doesn't have to go touch it to know what the heck it is all about :) That was it about this post! =P
♥
PS: Girls always wait for miracles to happen and they are for the most part non-expressive in these matters! But ultimately, they LOVE without expectations! ;-)
aha... some of the things I never understood, love and all.... now somethings do make sense...interesting point of view...:D
Siddesh Hehe!! You're honest to be true! =) Thank you for visiting this blog again! :D
Love is love...somethin that cant be defined.So damn true.I aint going to give any lecture demo here,but not all get the point "love has no conditions" Its not necessary that the person u love,loves u back the same way..:)
i'd really love to change my thoughts on love which suggests that the unconditional aspect of love looks good in a book or a philosophy class. Esther & Ana, do you really feel love is unconditional? just tell YES and il believe you girls.
Esther, on a different note: it would be great if you could change the default behavior of the music player in ur page. m sure the reader wud turn it on if he/she feels like listening to music. its kind of distraction wen it plays automatically.
Esther r u attending the indiblogger meet @ hyd on 11th of this month?
Mads =) You;re right :) Not everyone gets that point about unconditional love!! :-)
Sawan YEs yes very true.. Unconditional love looks nicer in books and philosophy classes... and that's one reason why we don't find it more amongst people ;-)
Love is definitely unconditional :-) But it's clearly stated not between LOVERS :) but definitely between family and GOD!
Unconditional love can only be found in a person who has a forgiving heart! :)
This post wasn't about UNCONDITIONAL love philosophy, but it was about how non-expressive the girl becomes after a couple of scars on the heart, and how she stayed calm without further expectations!
Sawan, The only reason why the music played loud was rihanna's song rude boy! I've excluded all jing bang songs! The rest its the same. The music will play slow. Like before.
And no I'm not attending the indiblogger meet on 11th ... :-) Are you attending?! Where you from btw? :-O
first time here..
nice read and i liked it
love is a strange little thing.
something like a perpetual anasthesis that creates the illusion that one good human(even bad for that matter) is some greek god/goddess and living without him or her is destined to be well unyielding and scary.
or so i read. somewhere.
me, i have no idea what love is :D
i can merely just write about it.
Esther, sorry for deviating from the topic :(
wonder wer ana's cmnt disappeared :-|
okies, about the post - youve expressed the emotional complexity of an individual [i am not mentioning 'girl' for a reason] so effortlessly. so *claps* for that :)
'I want him to be with someone more deserving and not me' -> i am sure this is not fiction. uve seen this at some phase of life, a friend, a friend's friend, book, some where uve felt this pain. if u havnt, u r a genius to write this. Esther, i felt sympathy for this girl, i admired her for her words, i loved her for the love she has, i got a little jealous with the guy and I wished I had a friend like the one mentioned. In short I got involved with what's written here. So, good work :)
I hail from Kerala. Was here in hyd for four years. Would be relocating to bangalore soon :) Hopefully I would be attendin the blogger meet, ie if I am not in shift :)
Sawan Those lines are definitely not fiction :P everyone at some point feel the same!! =D But this whole post is NOT a real story thats what I meant :) Its just about how people learn things out of their past, plus how they start overcoming expectations in life ! =)
Thank youuu :)
Wow you were in hyd for four years? :P you like this place? :P I'm sure you don't :D :D Bangalore is an awesome city! Lucky you! =) So the blogger meet is held at all different places eh?
The reason why I'm not attending is because none of my close blogger friends are here in hyd, or that would have been so much fun ! :-)
Enjoy the meet and update about it :P
Esther, I love Hyderabad! I know Hyderabad better than I know my hometown :) I got my first job here. its a beautiful city, I see no reason to dislike this place :) except for err.. lack of proper IT training institutes!
This is the first blogger meet I would attend, if I do attend :) I checked the attendee list and I dont know a single soul listed there :) But yeah that was the case with most of my frenz here. I knew none wen I joined blogsville and now i have so many wonderful ppl in my life :)at times one conversation could gift you the best of your friends :)
Were are you from?
aww yes I agree totally :P I made friends for life in blogger world! And that gives me more joy today! Its amazing how easily we connect to people with a small conversation! :) I really can mention the names of the ones who changed my life too :) Blog world rocks! :)
And I'm glad you liked my city :P Ya IT institutes is an issue here.. plus its totally messed up here ever since Sir. YSR left this earth! :( We had curfew issues here since two weeks I'm guessing! Its awful! =\
I was born and brought up in hyd! :) A typical Hydie I am! :)
aha! naice :) gues old city got afected cos of the curfew. the area were i stay din get afected at all!
alrite, wel catch up sometime at fb or otr ways. dsn want to convert this space to a chat box :) u write well, really well :) good night Esther.
i think ll go with gals feelings to go ahead unless shez ready.. wadaya say?? cyu around!
I think she should tell the guy before its too late. I have a friend who till date regrets not doing that. I know it would leave scars when things dont work out but if you dont give it a shot you will always end up regretting it more. If you say and things dont work atleast you have tried. Well, i have read your PS but i m exactly saying what i said to my friend once who seriously ignored my suggestion :(.
Nice expression of love...
Hmmm Finally i land onto Esther's page! I used to see a lot of your dp thumbnails on fb here and there.
Following you!
Happy blogging!
Well, I guess the girl is better off going with her instincts. But when she says she wants him to be with a more deserving person, she's not saying the truth. At some point she would feel ki she was the one who could've made him more happier, that she loves him more than any new girl with him.
Its easy for anyone to advice to propose, but when you're in her position thinking about a possible heart-break if he walks away, you will think about it a 100 more times.
And if she's truly in love, she will even enjoy the pain. The heart aches, but to understand that you fell in love with someone is better than never to have felt it at all.
lol.. again.. much hulaboo.. about nothing.. y is LOVE so so over rated .. i dont seem to get it.. y cant it be uncomplicated.. and.. umm.. well..
good stuff anyway.. but i suggest you read this..
http://oyeitsmalpani.blogspot.com/2010/02/is-this-louve-or-is-it-infatuation.html
u mite as well want to pick up bricks and throw at me.. after reading this... but tell me how much u agree..or dont.,, :p
Nice post! Loved it!
Love really doesn't mean staying together. Love need not be defined always. Love is just Love. <3
Nice post! Loved it!
Love really doesn't mean staying together. Love need not be defined always. Love is just Love. <3
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