Starting up a conversation with strangers

Most of us at some point in life are surrounded by strangers let it be hospitals, banks, bus/rail stations, interviews, malls, etc. Many of us require great effort in starting up a conversation with strangers, don’t we? And some of you might not like talking to strangers for the reason that you only enjoy talking to the one’s you know. Or some of you want to start a conversation with the person sitting next to you but end up starring at them and see them walk away thinking you’re a geek. I never interacted with anyone in college if I don’t know that person really well.I would give a Yes, no, maybe replies to the ones who try talking to me. So, most of them from my college ended up having a wrong impression about me being an attitude babe. Although, the ones close to me call me bubbly babe.

Later when I started working with a BPO, I was trained on how to interact with people around me. And interacting with customers helped me grow my communication skills pretty fast. I’m sharing some of the things that can be useful to many of us who want to start a conversation with the person sitting next to you. I tell you this is one of the best things you could do, learning about different people. This is going to be pretty useful for guys. People who think starting up a conversation is not you’re “thing” then please feed the fishes on my page you’d probably enjoy doing that than reading this *winks*.

Smile – when you see someone occupying the vacant seat next to where you’re sitting, please wear a smile on your face in case the stranger looks at you. Don’t give a weird look and confuse the stranger if that seat was already occupied.

Observe – observe the stranger, if he/she looks busy/tired/grumpy/sleepy/irate/weird then avoid starting a conversation else you’ll feel embarrassed with the answers he/she might throw at you. If you think the stranger is energetic and is smiling you might wanna go ahead and start off with a bright conversation.

Compliment – this is what I always do and you could do it too. For guys it’s the best way to impress girls, especially for the ones who like genuine compliments.

Ice-breaker – don’t wait for the opposite person to start off with a conversation. That sometimes won’t work for guys. You be the one to talk, maybe just a “hi” if the stranger looks at you and you could probably continue asking a few questions.

These are the general things we all are aware of, am sure. However there are certain things that need to be avoided else the conversation makes no sense at all rather wasting each other’s time. I will share a few personal experiences.

Avoid unnecessary talks with strangers:

[This happened when I was getting back home in a cab after a long tiring day at work, got squeezed between 2 jumbo sized people, a guy to my left and a girl to my right. The girl somehow managed to doze off as soon as she got into the cab, the guy was fully awake like me. I found a cowboy hat in his hand. Here’s the further conversation]

Me - *wow nice hat* thinking to myself, staring at it.

Guy – looks outta the window. And then looks at his hat.

Me – that’s a lovely hat, *smiles*

Guy - *giggles* thank you... my wife gave it for my wedding anniversary.

Me- oh that’s … interrupted...

Guy – I wore it today for work to show it to my friends, but somehow didn’t wanna wear it while taking calls, it looks funny though. My wife is really a sweet heart. She bought it for me for my wedding anniversary.

Me – that’s really swee …. Interrupted again…

Guy – you know what? I think I’ll show you my watch, it’s really awesome. *fetches for it in his bag*

Me – why didn’t you wear... Interrupted...

Guy – I love it so much that I keep it safely in the bag, never felt like wearing it.

Me - *dialing the last call on the call list in my phone*

Guy – you know what …. [His story continues about his wife]

Me – *blank, yawns, blank, grrrr*

Guy – shows to me his wedding pictures and his wives pictures in his phone.

Me – excuse me I have a call. “Hi baybay…”

Guy – waits for me to hang up.

Do you think I really dialed someone’s number dude? I switched my phone off and pretended to talk to someone, had to wait until he started to look outta the window again, though I kept the phone near my ear and acted like I was listening to someone. We all have an actor in us, don’t we? Now, that was something I can never forget. The conversation would have continued if he would have given me a chance to say/ask something. There are people who can talk rapidly about unimportant things. Why do I really want to know about his wife anyway? I really never felt like complimenting a stranger after that. So, people who have the habit of talking rapidly can bear in mind you’re throwing the opposite person in a boredom space. Avoid doing that, else they can talk about you anywhere like I’m doing here about that guy I met in the cab.

Don’t stare at the stranger:

This is basically what most of the guys end up doing, if you wanna say “not everyone does that” then I agree to it, but 90% people I’ve come across have done that, it includes girls. Avoid starring if you don’t want to talk.

[Below is a conversation that happened the other day at a consultancy when I had to wait at the lobby to meet an HR. There was a guy two seats next to where I was sitting. He was struggling hard to start up a conversation]

Me - *reading news paper* (I have this habit of reading my horoscope though I don’t believe it)

Him – tries to peep into what I was reading

Me - *cough cough*

Him – *opens the main paper* (trust me the way he opened the paper and turned the pages was absurd)

Me – *looks at him angrily*

Him - *half-smiles*

Me - *back to reading my friends horoscope*

Him – mute

Me – *wondering why he is so silent looks at him* and gaa he’s starring.

Him – half-smiles

Me – WHAT?

Him – wh-who-wha-whotttt.. iss…?

Me – Sorry?

Him – blank

Receptionist – Esther you can meet the HR.

Me – gotta go *straight face*

Trust me I like aptness. I still don’t know what he tried to ask me? Maybe, just my name? Better luck next time dude.

Don’t be a braggart:

[This was the most recent one. Yet another consultancy lobby, with the receptionist who sat there without any work, maybe it’s just the weekend special]

Me – Hi, I’ve been waiting here since two hours to meet Mr. XYZ (Oh remember the HR I’ve mentioned in my previous conversation?)

Receptionist – Oh yeah, you’re Esther right? Gimme two minutes. *Dials some number, talks, hangs up* Please wait for 15 more minutes.

Me – Ha? Ok, whatever!

Receptionist – you can have a seat here ma’m. [The seat was quite close to the receptionist’s desk]

Me – Thanks *was quite pissed off though*

Receptionist – did you color your hair?

Me – Yeah [now that’s a weird start up, I felt, but that’s okay I could say a yes, no, maybe]

Receptionist – I love you hair, it’s straight.

Me - *rolls eyes* Ah, yes it is. Thanks btw.

Receptionist- *giggles* what do you do?

Me- I’m working … etc etc..

Receptionist – Oh nice, I’m just 18 but I’m working. I’m very intelligent.

Me - *straight face* okay nice.

Receptionist – do you know shaan?

Me – which shaan? The singer eh?

Receptionist- yeah the singer... He’s my bro’s good friend.

Me- *raises eyebrows*

Receptionist- good na?

Me- Very good. Excuse me I just have to make a call. [Walked out]

Wasn’t that boring? I almost dozed off listening to her.

Keep your conversation limited with strangers. They will hate you if you talk about your popularity. This post has been unusually long but I’m sharing my experiences about my conversation with strangers out of which none of them were perfect. Connecting well with people you don’t know is really a nice thing to do. So try to connect, make friends but avoid boring them. I don’t admit enjoying all of these conversations, but experiences are experiences, eh?

Award and Tag post

I wanna thank each one of you for helping me come out from a situation I hated to be in. It really helped me like a lot. Thank you all for taking time and for sharing your opinions and ideas with me (I really loved all those long comments). It made me hear my heart speak.

Coming back to today’s post.

O-M-G! This is the second tag post on my blog, and I’m enjoying this. I was awarded and also tagged by TSW (Ste a very good blogger friend) fifteen days back or probably more, my laziness made me do nothing for a while since then. And that’s one of the reasons for the LATE TAG post. This blog has also been considered as one of the freaking fabulous blogs. This makes me say a double wow. Thanks a bunch to you, TSW (Ste).

This post is a lil confusing, the ones receiving the award can follow these rules below and you have to list your 5 obsessions on your post. The ones who are being tagged have to mention their favorite brand names.

Rules of the Award:

* List five current obsessions.
* Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
* On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
* When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
* Don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.

My 5 obsessions:

1) Quotes – I’m quote obsessed. I can google as many quotes possible and make a note in my diary.

2) Blogging – is something I enjoy doing the most. This is my space where I can scribble away anything I like.

3) Movies – I kinda watch lotta movies. I can spend an entire day watching movies. Or any of my favorite movies for 4-5 times in a row (if time permits).

4) Photography – am sure most of you enjoy photography too? If I ever catch sight of something really nice, I don’t hesitate in capturing it even if I’m in the middle of the road.

5) Coke – is like water for me. Don’t remind me of the pesticides thing I might start hating you.

5 fabulous bloggers:

Archana

Anamika

N J

Aditya

Megha

The Tag

I was tagged by TSW (ste) like I’ve mentioned already, this is such an easy tag post. It’s all about mentioning your brand names.

My mobile phone – Samsung E840, one of the cutest models, must admit the camera is super. I’m planning to buy Samsung star soon.

Clothing & accessories – the brand is UMM when it comes to accessories especially caps (Oh I have this crazy cap collection). I’m a lil non-branded when it comes to buying T-shirts.

Shoes – All star (converse). I have the red ones above ankle. Planning to buy the green ones I’ve recently spotted at a Reebok sale.

Nail polish – Its Lakme. I don’t usually grow nails because I have this “EW” kinda habit of biting nails. But you’ll always see them painted in black. Yess! Total gothic.

My perfume– Adolfo Dominguez Noche de Rosas.

I’m done with my tag and now I’m tagging – Srivatsan, Hemish, Shaunak, Dhanya, Madhu, Sowmi, Fiducia.

A situation I hate to be in…

It’s pretty baffling when your best friend falls in love with you and you don’t feel the same and this is one of the places I hate to be in. It earnestly is a vexing problem. It did happen a lot of times when some of my friends actually ended up having different feelings for me. I never thought something like that would happen again but it did happen and this time it’s my best friend. I meet a bunch of friends almost every day. We yak away about some of the unimportant things, especially when we girls are teamed up. And when boys are present we girls generally avoid talking about the girly stuff and carry on talking about non-sensible things and end up making fun of guys. I cannot stick in a group, I make individual friends. I’m close to only two people from the group and for the rest of them I’m like “Oh hi”, “Okay bye”. I have this friend; let’s call him ‘H’ for anonymity, a total stranger I met one time, then a Hi-Bye friend, then a Good friend, then a sweet friend, thena close friend, then my best friend.

We shared the most wonderful times together like every other friend does. There were some of the good days when we used to fight for silly reasons, those jokes we always cracked and laughed even if it made zero sense to the ones in the group, being a great support to each other, birthday celebrations etc. He’s been sweet, he’s been kind, he’s been emotional, he was typically filmy, and those dialogs of his make me laugh even now. I did get wrong signals from him a few days back when he tried to be unusually over caring. I knew he was very caring about his friends but I still didn’t get the clear picture about his new drama of being over caring. I almost kept away from him for a couple of days to get things straight.

The other day when we all got together, a not-so close friend from the group let the cat out of the bag about ‘H’. It made me go blank to know about it. I just walked away not even looking at ‘H’. I was kinda, erm, maybe confused, maybe wanted to punch him in his face, maybe ask him what he’s up to. It’s not his fault I know, but final decision at the moment is the worst part to formulate in the mind. I can’t be friends with someone who has some other feelings for me. I would feel uncomfortable each time I speak to him thinking “Oh gosh he loves me”. I also can’t afford to lose such a nice friend. Everything is so blur and I can’t think of adjusting myself to this fact. A couple of friends have asked me to sort out everything and just be friends. I will sort out things but am I gonna continue this friendship? Yes or no? I really don’t know. Gaa I just need time to think over it. And at the moment I hate to be in such a situation.

I prefer having an UNDO option in life. Jeee-sus!

To some of you reading - If you’ve been in such a situation do testify about what you’ve done after knowing your best friend loves you and you don’t feel the same. And people who wanna suggest me to do what my heart says, I confess my heart says nothing at the moment.

ABC Tag

I was tagged by Anamika and this is the first tag post on my blog **Thank you.. thank you**. I still don’t have a clear picture of what an ABC tag is; it reminds me of A for apple, B for ball, C for cat but nope we’re grown up so, you might learn a few random things about me through this post. Ready?

The golden rules :

a) Link the person who tagged you.
b) Post the rules on your blog.
c) Share the ABCs of you.
d) Tag 3 people at the end of your post by linking to them.
e) Let the 3 people know of the tag by leaving them comments.
f) Do not tag the original ‘tagger’.

A - Letter A always reminds me of someone who is really important to me. **Ssh Ssh**

B (BEWARE OF DOGS) - 13 years back... My bro had pasted something outside the house on the main gate which said “Beware of Dogs” and we didn’t own any.

C (Customer service) – I was into customer service job a while ago; anything with C reminds me of customers. Some of the customers were polite and most of them were irate. My job profile sucked to the core. I still remember customers yelling at me for no fault of mine. Sometimes I dangled the headset around my neck and mellowed out. Gosh customer service sucks! And I still remember a customer saying “Thank you b****” and slammed the phone down before I could even say the “no usage of profanity” script.

D (Dolly) – My niece who is in California now. I don’t get along with kids really well especially crying babies GAA, but somehow I managed to carry her and take her out in pram, everyone in the street who took evening walks would meet dolly and tug her cheeks saying “Cho chweet”. I’ve met a few nice families through her.

F (Forgive me God) – This is the second thing I always ask God in my prayers. It really doesn’t mean I sin every day, but I might end up doing something wrong lacking awareness so, I seek forgiveness as well as wisdom to decern what is right and what is wrong.

G (Gosh) – You’ll find me using this word oftentimes. I know it makes zero sense to say gosh for everything but still, like I care. Gosh!

H (Horse) – One day I’m gonna own a horse and that’s gonna make me the happiest soul.

I (If only) – A movie that conveyed about loving someone unconditionally and never take the one you love for granted. Given a chance I can watch this movie every day.

J (Jerusalem) – Maybe it’s a religious feeling but this is the place I would want to visit at least once before I die.

K (Kingfisher Airlines) – I booked tickets to pay my guy a visit when he fell ill last year in the month of November, and I did buy a ticket in Jet airways but unfortunately I missed my flight. There was nothing available as a choice other than taking the next flight which was the kingfisher airlines, and I paid Rs 7,800 for the ticket. It was an awful journey and an expensive experience.

L (Love birds) – We did own love birds when I was in 10^th grade. I used to see them kissing each other every morning. Used to touch them with my finger and said bye before I left for school almost every day.

M (Mickey Mouse) – The cartoon I always drew in most of my note books especially in my accounts notes! Blah.

N (NO) – No is something I hate to hear from someone but end up saying it like a lot.

O (Orange) – I kinda love orange flavor anytime and any day! I also love orange juice especially when it is freshly squeezed.

P (Pooh bear) – I’ve always expected someone to send me a HUGE pooh bear as a present.

Q (Quietness) – I like quietness. Quiet rooms, quiet colors, and quiet people.

R (Ranvijay) – My favorite MTV Vj. He’s got style! I totally love the way he presents himself in his shows and his attitude is super! He rocks.

S (Sweet) – A very common compliment I get from everyone.

T (T-Shirts) – I’m addicted to buying Tees with huge cartoon prints.

U (UNO) – The game I’m addicted to playing on facebook lately and I figured out to be really good at it. (Not really I guess). Sorry to all in my list for the weird UNO updates on your pages.

V (Vintage cars and bikes) – I love vintage cars and bikes. I don’t mind stopping by and capturing a picture of a vintage car/bike if I ever spot one. I missed a lot of vintage car shows here in my city. My bad!

W (Waking up early) – Waking up early is something I can’t do. I’m trying to get rid of sleeping in the wee hours of the morning but for some reason it doesn’t seem to work.

X (X-Ray) – I don’t like medical checkups at all. I feel sick even if I’m not. I remember being in an X-ray room only thrice in my life. Twice when I was a kid, I did some circus stunts from stairs and bumped my head into a parked vehicle’s mudguard. The second erm I don’t remember. Third was last year, just a normal checkup, which was just because I was forced to show the company I was gonna work with that I was normal healthy.

Y (YSR) – My role model.

Z (Zombies) – When I travelled to Kerala with friends in a train 3 years back, I remember two of my friends got dressed like zombies, with weird make up on their faces and had to walk for a minute as soon as the train stopped at the next station. That was really a weird challenge they took up and the idea was mine.

I am now passing this tag to Kelvin, Freelancer and Swati.

PS: Thank you for reading...

Some of the GOOD LESSONS

We learn a lot in life, don’t we? Let it be personally or professionally, physically or mentally, socially or financially. We keep learning new lessons at every point and at every corner of our lives. Most of us might have as well faced some of the vexatious situations in life like heartbreak, losing someone special (demise), failure, accusations, betrayal etc. As a kid when I made mistakes, mom used to correct me once. At times I used to repeat the same mistake and she cold-shoulders it. Not because she was not bothered about it, but she let me learn my own mistakes and the lessons fully.

Speaking personally I did experience a lot in life in the past four years. Some of the experiences made me a bitter person as well. I remember posting about losing my smile down the road a while ago here. Most of us go through rough phases and most of them don’t. People who have never experienced anything like this will not be able to learn the tough life nor will they be able to handle any kind of a situation. I was grappling with problems. And that’s how I started to smile very less, looked fragile every morning, stopped moving around with friends, lost the bubbly character in me, lay in bed awake all night. That made me a serious person; I was easily irritable.

I know I’ve hurt a bunch of friends because of my own worries. I let worries and problems rule my life. The anger I had within me regarding the problems I had to face was scattered among my friends, and most of them still know the way I behaved with them though it’s not their fault at all. I just had the feeling that nothing in life is permanent. People come and people go. This feeling made me bitter and honestly I never meant to hurt anyone but just tried my best to stay away for a while to come out of what I was going through.

As a matter of fact, when I’m annoyed leave me for 10 minutes and I’m back to normal and can fix the situation. Or I might say things I needed to and later regret. Most of them try to prolong it even after I say, “I’m pissed off”... “Leave me alone” … When I say that I truly mean it. It usually never works out, because the opposite person keeps blaming himself/herself for spoiling my mood etc. No sir, not really. Even if you freak me out or I freak out on my own, I just need sometime and then I’m back to normal. Things usually grow worse in such cases. Am sure you agree with me.

Trust me I have really made great friends in life. These bunch of friends (I call em my wabbits) have stayed with me and tolerated me being crabby with them all the time. Some of them who really didn’t understand what I was going through faded away but true friends always remain with you no matter how worse the situation is. I can pick some of them who remained with me knowing what I’ve been through. I want to group hug them.

It reminds me of a fight I had with a close friend of mine two days ago. I was pissed off at him for a reason (basically) and have been ignoring all the explanations he has given to me. I know it was a bad idea to be angry for so long and decided to apologize. Before I could say something he had given me a gift to cheer me up. It was a tiny lil frame that had a friendship quote imprinted on it which said:

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go…

Some people stay for a while and leave their footprints on our hearts

And we are never ever the same”

That’s the MAGIC OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP.

That was extremely cute and it did cheer me up. So, I'm gonna say good-byes to the Hyper-Queen today and understand how valuable my smile is. I have learnt good lessons and I now know the ones who will remain with me forever! I’m feeling lucky.

Big Loss

I’ve never thought I would ever live through such an emotional disturbance in life, nor did I ever visualize about posting anything like this one. I need to share it with you all, it’s really important for the entire state. Some of them in India are sure having heard the news about the BIG LOSS of AP (Andhra Pradesh). Some of them have not I’m guessing, especially the one’s not living in India. I belong to a state called Andhra Pradesh in India. And I’m sharing about the BIG LOSS we are facing at the moment.

My mom apart from some of the boring programs for someone reason watches only news. She relays the worst information first. And I always go “Ya Ya” “Ok ok”! But yesterday morning was pretty unusual; she didn’t tell me what was going on. She looked on edge and not fine at all. I had to sit with her to know what was happening and I was shocked! Breaking news! And I see the chief Minister’s photograph; I gulped nervously and read the news that scrolled at the bottom of the screen. The chopper in which the Chief Minister of AP travelled was MISSING.I convinced myself, Oh only missing nothing happened yet. I relaxed but also kept an eye on every word that was scrolling on the news channel. It was indeed a shock for every one of us. They couldn’t trace the chopper until this morning.

Read almost every article about him last night. I couldn’t sleep with the fact that the person who is supposed to be ruling our state for quite some time is missing. There were a lot of people who called him “GOD”. He was a friend of the rural people. He won hearts of the people. He was a person who always worked for the benefit of the state. Such a wonderful and a dynamic leader who was travelling in the chopper was not found? I couldn’t digest the fact. I watched the news time and again to see if there was anything latest. I still had a hope that “He’s gonna be back”. He will be back and serve the people like before.

I couldn’t open my eyes when I woke up this morning as the sun rays through the window were blocking my vision. I tried to look out and it was sunny and bright.

I sat up and pushed away the quilt wondering why it didn’t rain? (It has been raining here since a week) I got out of the quilt, tied my hair up calling “MOM”. No reply! **Sigh** I got the picture that something went wrong yesterday, Oh no the Chief Minister was missing I recollected. Rushed to turn the television on, and it was already tuned to the news channel and I see the Chief Ministers photograph, like yesterday, but wait there was something on the picture, it was dated 1949-2009! Gosh, I was all cold and numb. I couldn’t blink, I couldn’t breathe. The news says he died. The chopper was crashed because of the bad weather yesterday. And today it didn’t rain; I wondered why he never postponed his travelling for today? Why did he choose to travel yesterday in such a bad weather despite knowing the fact that many people lost their lives in an air crash? He’s not coming back. It’s indeed a very sad thing and a BIG LOSS for the entire state. He means a lot to me. I respect the service he rendered. The entire state does.

I can understand what his family is going through. It’s really a tragic situation at the moment. I still can’t believe he died in a chopper crash. I still feel he’s alive, he will rule again. But I cannot avoid the naked truth about his demise. He was travelling to meet people and know what their problems are in their city/town to help them out, but unfortunately he couldn’t reach them. There are many pending works he planned for; I hope all his wishes are fulfilled one day. May his soul rest in peace and may his family be comforted.

Sir,

I know we are not related to each other, I know we have never met, I know you have never seen me before, but you've been like a father to me. Its a big loss for our state. No one can replace you, no one can complete the work like you did. We salute you Sir and we will miss you. You are a true hero.

Esther