Big Loss

I’ve never thought I would ever live through such an emotional disturbance in life, nor did I ever visualize about posting anything like this one. I need to share it with you all, it’s really important for the entire state. Some of them in India are sure having heard the news about the BIG LOSS of AP (Andhra Pradesh). Some of them have not I’m guessing, especially the one’s not living in India. I belong to a state called Andhra Pradesh in India. And I’m sharing about the BIG LOSS we are facing at the moment.

My mom apart from some of the boring programs for someone reason watches only news. She relays the worst information first. And I always go “Ya Ya” “Ok ok”! But yesterday morning was pretty unusual; she didn’t tell me what was going on. She looked on edge and not fine at all. I had to sit with her to know what was happening and I was shocked! Breaking news! And I see the chief Minister’s photograph; I gulped nervously and read the news that scrolled at the bottom of the screen. The chopper in which the Chief Minister of AP travelled was MISSING.I convinced myself, Oh only missing nothing happened yet. I relaxed but also kept an eye on every word that was scrolling on the news channel. It was indeed a shock for every one of us. They couldn’t trace the chopper until this morning.

Read almost every article about him last night. I couldn’t sleep with the fact that the person who is supposed to be ruling our state for quite some time is missing. There were a lot of people who called him “GOD”. He was a friend of the rural people. He won hearts of the people. He was a person who always worked for the benefit of the state. Such a wonderful and a dynamic leader who was travelling in the chopper was not found? I couldn’t digest the fact. I watched the news time and again to see if there was anything latest. I still had a hope that “He’s gonna be back”. He will be back and serve the people like before.

I couldn’t open my eyes when I woke up this morning as the sun rays through the window were blocking my vision. I tried to look out and it was sunny and bright.

I sat up and pushed away the quilt wondering why it didn’t rain? (It has been raining here since a week) I got out of the quilt, tied my hair up calling “MOM”. No reply! **Sigh** I got the picture that something went wrong yesterday, Oh no the Chief Minister was missing I recollected. Rushed to turn the television on, and it was already tuned to the news channel and I see the Chief Ministers photograph, like yesterday, but wait there was something on the picture, it was dated 1949-2009! Gosh, I was all cold and numb. I couldn’t blink, I couldn’t breathe. The news says he died. The chopper was crashed because of the bad weather yesterday. And today it didn’t rain; I wondered why he never postponed his travelling for today? Why did he choose to travel yesterday in such a bad weather despite knowing the fact that many people lost their lives in an air crash? He’s not coming back. It’s indeed a very sad thing and a BIG LOSS for the entire state. He means a lot to me. I respect the service he rendered. The entire state does.

I can understand what his family is going through. It’s really a tragic situation at the moment. I still can’t believe he died in a chopper crash. I still feel he’s alive, he will rule again. But I cannot avoid the naked truth about his demise. He was travelling to meet people and know what their problems are in their city/town to help them out, but unfortunately he couldn’t reach them. There are many pending works he planned for; I hope all his wishes are fulfilled one day. May his soul rest in peace and may his family be comforted.

Sir,

I know we are not related to each other, I know we have never met, I know you have never seen me before, but you've been like a father to me. Its a big loss for our state. No one can replace you, no one can complete the work like you did. We salute you Sir and we will miss you. You are a true hero.

Esther

Awards

Blog, blog-world, bloggers, AWARDS!! Yess! The most excellent part of blogging is awards. Let it be receiving or giving. I’m wa-ay excited. I apologize if I’ve missed out any name. But before that I would like to thank Blogadda.com for picking up one of my posts as the best one, Thank you Anamika, The solitary writer, Archana and Sowmi for the awards! These awards make my blog colorful and bright. Promising that I won't take much of your time, no speeches, no nominees, everything is set you just have to pick your award. I hope you enjoy! ;-)

Silver Star Award

Kerri (Your wish cake)

Natasha (Endless randomness)

Anamika (iThoughts)

Archana

IHM (Indian Homemaker)

Dhanya

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xXtraordinary Blog Award

Archana

Mayz

Nick (The caped tider)

Tellie

Arv

Sneha

TSW (The solitary writer)

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Lovely Blog Award

Kelvin

Madzie

Aarthi

Sowmi

TSW

Mysterious Girl

MrandMrs Happily Ever after

Saad Shaikh

Aneev

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Stylish Blog Award

Fiducia

Mayz

Freelancer

Sugar Cube

Kasabian Girl

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I love your blog Award

Megha

Ishwarya

Aarthi

sowmi

Neha

Mayz

Freelancer

Hemish

Kaka

John

Amanda

Trouble.thinks

Mind Writer

My little becky

Novelista Barista

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This one is really special. When I started blogging, there were only 2 friends of mine who commented on all my posts without fail. Madzie and Sush, Thank you both. And this is also dedicated to the ones who I know will always support me.

Madzie

Sush

Saurabh

Kelvin

Anamika

Thank you once again for all the support and love!

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I'm back

I'm back after an unusual delay. I really was so happy to read all the comments when I took a break off from blogging. It brightens me up to bring forth wonderful posts for all of you. It wasn't really a restful week for me. I've been through the "YAY" moments as well as the most upsetting conditions. Yeah, life is freaking unfair. You are happy right now and in a split second you feel that you're not. But I've had some of the greatest moments. I can yak away about everything I did, but I'm not prepared to expect you to flake out right at the beginning of the post. I'm keeping this one short and sorry to keep you waiting. I travelled and also did a bit of shopping. Less shopping for me but more shopping for my cousin who had come to see me all the way from a different state. I miss her.

For all those who don't know me really well I wanna confess I'm really bad at remembering birthdays so you wouldn't find this funny, but still would like to share something "FUNNY" that happened with me three days ago! I've been ignoring a friend of mine as we had a fight two weeks back. Trust me a silly fight. I ignore people to some extent when I am really freaked, because I tend to hurt them. So its always a good option to avoid them for a while. I realized that it was his birthday on 27th and thought of sending him an advance wish in a message so that even if I forget to wish him on his birthday he already receives advance greetings from me. (very clever no?)

SMS CHAT-

Me- Happy Birthday (Advance wishes)
After five minutes
Him - So rude!
Me - WT(BLEEP)
Him - Ok, sorry! I thought you didn't wanna wish me on my birthday.
Me - Go to hell!
Him - Are you coming with me?
Me - Urgh!
Him - he he he..
So that's how we started speaking, with some additional *bleeps* about the fight!

26th Aug, 12:00 AM
I dial his number, the phone rings surprisingly! I kept thinking about how well I remembered his birthday, and kept saying yeeee-heee-hooo!!
He answered - Hey Esther!
Me - Singing with a smile "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday la la lala laaaaaaaaa, Happy birthday to you"
Him - He he he!!
Me - "Many girlfriends to you, many girlfriends to you, many girlfriends to you....... *Changing my pitch high* HAPPYYY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"
Him - hahahahahaha Thank you Esther! You're too sweet. How come you're wishing me in advance so many times?
Me - What?
Him - My Birthday is on 29th.
Me - Kidding no?
Him - No No!
Me - Gosh!! I'll call you on 29th :( :(
*disconnects*

My sister who has been hearing me sing from the first happy birthday line to the last couldn't stop laughing her ass off knowing that it wasn't his birthday. Its so weird I tend to remember birthdays but wish them on the wrong day! Very funny. And do you really find this post short? I don't think so. Wake up, wake up!

Love you all!

Break

Hey Friends,

I might not post here for a week, Its too long for me. But yeah I promise to be back within a weeks time. I will surely miss everyone here, but no worries, I'll come back, take time and read all your posts and leave comments too. Don't forget me but wait for me :)

Miss you'll.

Esther

Complex situations

Have you ever been in a situation when you’re-?

Feeling a spasm of panic?

Feeling a never-ending numbness?

Dejected but yet try to look cheerful?

Waiting for a miraculous healing to your broken heart?

Damaged irreparably through the waves of hurt and wondering what to do?

Wanting to drink to drown your sorrows?

Deciding how to move on?

Waiting for life to begin?

Not realizing what’s the very best part of your life?

Waiting for someone to say “Come here give me a big hug?”

Moving effortlessly back into the agonizing memories?

Not able to move a step forward nor backward?

Trying to demolish every trace of something or someone?

This is your day, get over it. Your decision brings a change. No matter in what way the situation is positioned, it’s only you who can be responsible and deal with it. I really know why I posted this, on account of the fact that everyone goes through this phase once in a life time. Some of them don’t, they’re lucky. Honestly, I did go through a phase a lil similar to this, waited for wrong things in perpetuity and realized now what the very best part of my life is. So, whenever you decide for the best never regret it. Never miss the best things of your life. You just have to grasp the significance of it.

I just did it, and I’m free from all those very-very-heavy-burdens, I carried all this while on my shoulders. *Taking a sigh of relief*

“I see my worries flee

I feel carefree

In sorrows, I will never drown

Will always wear an invisible crown”

So, what is the very best thing of your life?

Smile

I'm posting a poem for the first time here, dedicating this to all those who lost their smile.

Each day is bright

Plan for the right

Smile every morning

Sweep away the mourning

Dream wide

Look at the bright side

Let the world see you smile

Without a guile

Hear the bells ring

Hear the birds sing

Let the wind blow

Let the love flow

Make the world known

About the smile you own

With oodles of fun

Make each day a bright one

Smile

Not for a while

But, make it your style!!

Happiness

What makes me happy?
Strum chords on my guitar on the terrace at night watching the sky with the diamond like stars glittering with the wind blowing all around is one thing out of the little list of things that make me happy, thinking about the best moments of my life, the best moments. And believe me it is something that has gotten to the core of my happiness.

I love photography. It unconditionally makes me smile when I capture something I like or something I find really really cute. I have huge collection of pictures, and most of those pictures of mine are with weird expressions. See the one on my blogger page too, agree? I always find it a good thing to capture anything I like, because someday you look at the picture and you go back to those first and most important moments and say “HEY I REMEMBER, THAT DAY WAS SUPER”. I do that truly, whenever I dig my old folders and also get a chance to laugh at the old times. Yeah, ultimately photography is something I’m always happy about.

Shopping is one more thing that can make me happy much better than anything on my list of likes. (Probably that’s one reason why I’m broke to bankruptcy at the moment). Every time I go shopping and buy stuff I like, I try them on and stand in front of the mirror with a wide smile, especially when I buy stuff on a sale, and I’m not the typical brand tag wearer. I can go cheap when it comes to buying stuff I like. Shopping can’t be done every day but it can make me happy any day!

Who makes me smile?
It’s slightly difficult to make me smile, I’m at the moment more of a serious person. So there are hardly a few who can make me smile, no matter how rude or unpleasantly coarse I am at times.

Khushboo, my BFF is one person who can always make me smile. It’s not that she cracks a joke or something, but it’s that when I’m with her I can smile and laugh, like a lot. We talk totally about not-so-important things, laugh out loud, play BINGO and TIC-TAC-TOE on our record work-books, etc. We both laugh for nothing that’s the funniest part or sometimes laugh looking at each other. She has been my friend since 7 years now. Though we are not in touch often these days because of the busy work schedule of hers, I still know she is one person I can be happy with. Trust me, even if I’m depressed for decades, she can make me happy in a jiffy.

Ashish, my nephew is another guy who can irritate me and make me smile both at the same time. He’s just 1.5 years old. He hates it if my mom pampers me because of the attention he misses. When he sees me with my mom, he doesn’t really react at first, but makes sure to throw his shoes at me at least once in the end. It kind of irritates me to the core but with he’s got a killer smile, trust me. I’m always left with zero options to be angry with him.

I can be happy anytime, anywhere, any day, when I’m with mom and bro. They play a very important role in my life. So it means I’m happy almost every day when they’re around.

Do I laugh every day?
Pretty difficult to answer, but yes when I’m with my friends, I laugh a lot. When I think of the stupid and weird days of my life, I laugh a lil. But laughing everyday is something I have lacked. It’s not possible to laugh every moment. But yes when I laugh, I laugh like a drain. It’s sometimes good when people around look at me with an expression “What happened?” on their not-so-good-looking-faces. I will be happier if there’s something that makes me laugh every day.

Love?
Love, umm, well, lol, okay. I love God more than anything or anyone. Its not just because I’m spiritually inclined, but loving God more than anyone is a naked truth. Apart from the whole of spirituality thing, I love my family, friends and enemies (Okay, enemies because I don’t have anyone at the moment. So it was really easy for me to add it in my lovely love list).

This post ain’t random; I wanted to convey about one of my favorite quotes through this post. About what makes me happy, who makes me smile, how I laugh and about whom I love.

“Do what makes you happy
Be with who makes you smile
Laugh as much as you breathe
Love as long as you live”

Think about the list of things that makes you happy! Think.